Eating Disorders Forum - Why Do I Keep Listening?

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Q: Why Do I Keep Listening?

asked by: mxgurlie101 on May 24th, 2006

Experienced User

Well anyway my family knows about my ed and some of my friends but I keep listening to them. My family always jokes around with me and says you eat like a pig and stuff like that they really dont know how much that hurts me after just coming out of the hospital for my anorexia/bulimia. Then when I went to school not knowing if she was joking or not my friend called me a fat a$$. Ive begun to think they are being serious. I need to loose weight I cant handle this. My mom told me that shes tired of fighting with me so she told me to move out. I got no place to go except if I knew where my dad was but he went who knows where on christmas. Just completely out of the blue on christmas. God I dont know what to do anymore life is out of control. I wanna curl up in a ball and just die. I cant do anything right nothing at all. I dont even know what im asking here in this post im just going insane. Ive hit a new low which is lowest ive ever been. Where do u think I can do because I have to move out by tonight im only 14? I gues I could go stay with a friend or something I odnt know. I should just kill myself and get over the misery. Well im going to stop complaining now cause I have to get ready to move and I know im annoying anyone who reads this:(

Replies(54)

rinsha

replied on May 24th, 2006

Experienced User

No honey you don't have to move out you let the police know that your mom is kicking you out that is against the law. She will go to jail and you would be taking away from and placed with your dad.

And no you shouldn't be treated that way. I hope you can stay with your friend and hopefully you can tell someone who has some authority. Because your mom can't do that to you I know she thinks and says she can but she will go to jail its called neglect.

I am sorry you have been treated the way you have. If you have a eating disorder people shouldn't be picking on you obviously are down and depressed. Have you talked to a doctor about how you feel?

Please write me back if you can. I would really like to hear if your okay or not. I really hope so.I will talk with you if you need someone to talk to.

rinsha

replied on May 24th, 2006

Experienced User

Hopefully she can get help, I hope so. She said she had a friend hopefully she went to her friends house. I seriuosly hope everything works out for you and your family.

Best wishes

v00d00cita

replied on May 24th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Re: Why Do I Keep Listening?

mxgurlie101 wrote:

my family always jokes around with me and says you eat like a pig and stuff like that they really dont know how much that hurts me after just coming out of the hospital for my anorexia/bulimia. Then when I went to school not knowing if she was joking or not my friend called me a fat a$$. Ive begun to think they are being serious. I need to loose weight I cant handle this. My mom told me that shes tired of fighting with me so she told me to move out. I got no place to go except if I knew where my dad was but he went who knows where on christmas. Just completely out of the blue on christmas. God I dont know what to do anymore life is out of control. I wanna curl up in a ball and just die.

hey, girl! Cheer up, I don't want to see you like that :( you are an inspiration for me and for a lot of us!
You did well talking to us, i'm here for you. Send me a private message or and email, or talk to me on msn and we'll find a way for you, ok?
I wish I can help you, girl, cause you deserve it!

Please reply back and try to be calm!

rinsha

replied on May 24th, 2006

Experienced User

Yes she does deserve to be helped and I hope when she reads this, there are people who are and are willing to listen I am willing to listen. If you can please write back. :)

mxgurlie101

replied on May 25th, 2006

Experienced User

Thanks

I greatly appreciate the replys. I moved out with a friend until police find my dad and I plan to let my mom settle down a bit before talking to her. Yeah I might be 14 but im not your normal fourteen year old. I dont get an attitude. I dont even know how to get mad or yell. I tend to just take in what ever hits me and it hurts sometimes not being able to respond back to what their yelling at me about. I rarely ever get in fights with my mom so this was a first in like a year. She is tired of dealing with my ed and I can understand that because so am I but this fight to recover is harder then I thought it would be. It keeps getting harder and harder. Im alright I guess just upset and depressed and things sure could be alot better but im going to try to keep moving through what ever situation comes about. I just hope under the emotiona;l presure im in right now that my ed doesn't worsen. Thanks again for the replys!
Sarah

rinsha

replied on May 26th, 2006

Experienced User

Glad to Hear You Replied :)

I was very concerned, and glad to hear you moved out. I hope things are getting better and at any age even 14 you deserve much better. The treatment you were given wasn't right. Some may think I shouldn't judge, but if you were feeling so down and was wanting to die thats not good. And remember people do care. I know how hard things can get and sometimes even if someone just listens it can make a big difference.

Feel free anytime to send an email and remember there is always someone who will listen.

Good luck and I am glad to hear things are better. Try not to get to stressed out and also remember things will get better and I am just glad to see you sent in a reply because I was very concerned and so were others.

:d

v00d00cita

replied on May 26th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

I'm glad to get news from you, we are all worried about you.
Try to see which ways are the ebst for you now, but keep in mind that you and your mother, no matter what happened, are familly and need each other.
For what I read, I understand that you're both passing through a bad time, that can be one more motive for you to talk and to clear things up, ok?

The best

mxgurlie101

replied on May 26th, 2006

Experienced User

Yeah im doing alright im down and all right now things keep happening.I was talking to the teacher friend I have about the situation and other stuff she would usually call my house but my mom would blow her off but today she wanted to talk to me.My friend and I were telling a secret about something that happened and now her parents are taking action and called the school. I dont want to be on the spot anymore and I dont want any other pressures right now I just want to be left alone and live my life. Things keep getting worst :(cry).I dont know what to do anymore I just wish everything would stop like my ed and my parents fighting and other stuff. This is tough situation im in right now and I dont know where to turn what to do. I feel so ashamed im a problem child I shouldnt even be here. I just want to be free for once from all the misery. Thanxs for ur guys supportit really helps
sarah

rinsha

replied on May 26th, 2006

Experienced User

Things will get better, I know how that goes you can be so down and out and it just seems like things get worse. But they will get better I promise. I hope everything starts working out for you. Remember you always have someone to talk to :) I will talk to you anytime. Good luck and I hope things start improving. 8)

mxgurlie101

replied on May 27th, 2006

Experienced User

Im trying to getthings to work out better but they wont. I hope they do soon because ive had all I can take

mxgurlie101

replied on May 29th, 2006

Experienced User

Things are really going down the drain. Im in a really big depression state and my ed is out of wack. Between yesturday and today ive only ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and one chicken nugget. I even started cutting myself again I feell so horrible. Ive tried to call my mom but she wont pick up. I wish it would all end. Police have been searching for my dad but havent found him yet. Im going crazy! What am I suppose to do?I dont know anymore I tried to keep undercontrol but it slipped away. I just want my life back and the real me to come back also. I dont know myself anymore. All I do is go for a 3hr run in the morning and sit in the room im staying in the rest of the day, its horrible and deppressing.

v00d00cita

replied on May 30th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

mxgurlie101 wrote:

i was talking to the teacher friend I have about the situation and other stuff she would usually call my house but my mom would blow her off but today she wanted to talk to me.My friend and I were telling a secret about something that happened and now her parents are taking action and called the school. I dont want to be on the spot anymore and I dont want any other pressures right now I just want to be left alone and live my life.
(..) I feel so ashamed im a problem child I shouldnt even be here. I just want to be free for once from all the misery.

hey, sarah, don't be like that, it all happens to us too, better or worse, we have always moments in our life when we wish not to live anymore.
But hold on, it will get better and it will compensate all that you're going through now, ok? I really wish you the best, because I can feel you are a nice girl and deserve a good life.

mxgurlie101 wrote:

things are really going down the drain. Im in a really big depression state and my ed is out of wack. Between yesturday and today ive only ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and one chicken nugget. I even started cutting myself again I feell so horrible. Ive tried to call my mom but she wont pick up. I wish it would all end. Police have been searching for my dad but havent found him yet.
(...) all I do is go for a 3hr run in the morning and sit in the room im staying in the rest of the day, its horrible and deppressing.

sarah, I think you are hurting yourself too much. Don't do that, ok? I know that it's very hard, but doing thst won't help you, anyway.
Running can be ok, it keeps you occupied and stuff, but not eating and doing that much exercise can literally kill you...

Get better *

mxgurlie101

replied on May 31st, 2006

Experienced User

Thanks for the advice. I guess your right that I need to stop hurting myself but its hard. You guys are so nice to help me through this no one else will. I dont have many friends or even ones I can talk to in that matter so your replys really help me so thanks. Well my friends mom has noticed my ed and she htinks im a bad influence to her kids I know it could be but now I have to find somewhere else to stay until my dad comes or is found. What if hes not even alive ill be on my own. Well I guess I shouldnt think that way because its negative and im trying to keep positive to help me through the situation and to keep my ed from going farther down hill. Staying positive is hard though. Do you know anyways that you use to keep positive cause I could really use some positivity. Thanks

v00d00cita

replied on June 1st, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Well... It's tough... When i'm down I try to do things that clear my mind or that send my thoughts to somewhere else. Sometimes I study or read, sometimes I watch tv, do beams necklaces to give friends or sell, wirte, draw, etc. You could try this too, what do you think?
One of the necklaces I made I send to girl from the forum, brady, to help us but, so that it'll be like a token meaning that it's possible to get better.

Take your time and keep giving us news. I wish I could help you more. Kisses

mxgurlie101

replied on June 1st, 2006

Experienced User

Thanks for the advice imight have to try some of those things. Whats a beams necklace?

v00d00cita

replied on June 2nd, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

A bead necklace is a necklace made with beads - little "stones" - made of plastic, wood, glass, etc. :) they can have several kinds of beads with many colours, shapes, materials and sizes combined. :)
i like them, their colours can put me happier during the day. I use them specially during spring and summer, to match the colours of the clothes and the weather. :)
**

mxgurlie101

replied on June 2nd, 2006

Experienced User

Oh I know what they are.

v00d00cita

replied on June 3rd, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

It keeps me busy doing them and keeps my mind occupied too. :)
how have you all been doing?
I feel like a balloon :\ but i'm doing three or four meals a day... :s
mxgurlie, have you done any progress about your situation? It's very hard, but... I'm with you, girl.

Anytime **

mxgurlie101

replied on June 3rd, 2006

Experienced User

I really havent made any progress with the situation with moving right now I stopped by the library to check email but still dont have any place to live.I usually stay at the library all day till closing. Im out on the street and havent slept at all. Ive been trying to eat better but that still is very hard. I hope my dads found soon ori findsomeplace to go because its hard out on my own and to tell the truth scary. Thanx for the support

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