Hi muppetdave,
you do have a quandary there, but it doesn't have to be. The reason you read about more problem-wisdom-teeth-removal stories is because they are the ones who post because they are seeking help. The many who have had the wisdom teeth removed and had no problems, don't need to post.
Now after I wrote that, you still need to be extremely careful. I did not have my wisdom teeth removed and developed tmj. When the teeth came in, they changed my bite drastically to the point that my teeth only came together at the wisdom teeth. So when other factors, like stress big time, came into my life, the clenching and grinding on an imperfect bite began. Thus, my life of tmj. You'd think now that the smart thing to do would have been to remove the teeth, but I became an experiment and other methods were tried that failed. This was 25 years ago, so I do have to say there is more knowledge out there now even though the medical field seems to ignore it too much.
I would talk to the oral surgeon who would pull the teeth. Discuss the problems you have currently and your fears about tmj getting worse, etc. Ask him/her how he removes the teeth? Does he overextend the opening of the mouth to get to the teeth? (overextending of the mouth/bite is a major problem that seems to cause the tmj disc(s) to displace.) will he x-ray the area first to see if there might be any problems? What about an mri? Does he use excessive force to pull the teeth and/or roots?
These are just a few questions I would ask. Do a lot of research, get your concerns and questions organized and written down and make an appointment if that's what you decide.
I hope and pray that everything works out for you. Now remember, if all goes well - come back and post good news. We will expect that. :)
god bless...
Carol