Dating a person with a mental health disorder is serious business. Unless you educate yourself about what you're dealing with your life will be miserable if you attach yourself to this person. My mom was, and my brother and sister have bi-polar disorder. I can only tell you that their girfriends/husbands have had miserable lives. In particular, my brother is an irresponsible patient who abuses a multitude of substances instead of taking his medication; and my sister lied to her future husband about her diagnosis and refuses treatment.

Why settle for someone who is not able to treat you the way you deserve. You're in high school, a time where you need to develop a plan for a future, don't rush to bond with someone who is not capable of a relationship at this time. Encouragement is fine, but a romantic involvement would not be advisable for either of you.

Hey, thanks for the advice! I want to help him, but its just been really hard. For now im going to go easy and see how it goes so I can help him, but the last time we broke up we were both depressed and I dont want to be depressed, so im just going to tell him to take it a little more easy. So, I told him last night that I still want to be with him, but its really hard on the both of us with him being bipolar and everything, so we needed to cool things down a bit and try to help him get a little better. Well the day before yesterday he was all mad at me, but I had not talked to him until I told him that, so he never said anything, but at 11 at night I got a call from him and he didnt make any sense whatsoever...Yes, he was drunk...I coiuld understand him a little and he said he was at a party and really missed me and all of this random stuff. The last time we broke up, I handled my depression with a therapist and other help sources, while he handled his depression by getting drunk and started smoking again, once we got back together, he told me he would stop because he cares about me and I told him I wanted hem to stop because I loved him and didnt want him to get cancer, like my grandfather did and died. So he stopped smoking, cut down alot on the drinking, and stopped hangin with the wrong people just for me so I know that he really cares. Well, today when he was sober I talked to him and he said that he was really sorry, but needed something to take his mind and make him feel better...About wat I told him earlier. I love this guy, I cannot see him getting drunk, smoking, and hanging out with the wrong people just because of me, but I cant let him ruin my life. I know that I help him alot to overcome everything by always being there for him. (he doesnt have many friends except for gangs in his neighborhood, so at school everyone is mean to him because he is, well...260lbs. And u can guess his personallity...And I am "model material" and a cheerleader whos is a flyer, 100lbs very tiny, and as some of the guys put it hott, and everyone makes fun of his weight and stuff) he tries to overcome his illness just for me and is a total mess without me, and as supprising as it sounds, I am a total mess without him...Ive done some research and I know more about it, and I would let him go if I could, but I dont want to be depressed again, I did lost of therapy and got help from friends... But still, my appetite got smaller and that cant happen because I am super skinny I would seriously become anorexic, I snuck beer from my parents, I am such a "goody 2 shoes" so they never would have excpected that I would do that so they just kept it in the pantry, and ive tried to kill myself/ hurt myself severly...I got myself into this deep situation long before I knew about his problem, I can take it easy (if he only could) but I cannot break up with him, I cannot become depressed because im not with him...And now also because I cannot see the one I love in such pain...

P.S.- yes, I know I can do so much better than him (hes actually not that hott) but yet my heart wont let my move on...I dont know why I like him, but for whatever reason it is, I cant stop loving him...He's got me hooked and I cant get away...*sigh*

O wow, that was long! Lol, but if I could still get some feedback I would really appeciate it!!!! Thanx!!!! :)

I met my boyfriend online 2 years ago, I love him more than anything in this world. I am 17 years old and hes 24. Things were so great the first year of our relationship I did somethings that I regret but we made it through and he loved me then things started changing with him he got more into drugs and drinking went to rehab but got kicked out and went back to the same things he told me we would stop that he loved me and he wanted to take care of me instead of me sending him money( that is the thing I regret I lied about sending him sometimes because I didnt have it) but that didnt work out as soon as he got home we went back into the same things again but worse his moods are more worse now. On min he loves me soo much and the next he is breaking up with me driving me crazy, I have major depression and I take everything personally too and when he is having a bad day or something I think its me what have I done why didnt he call me or why didnt he tell me he loved me when we got off the phone but then there are times when everything is good and we talk and he tells me how much he loves me and wants to be with me but then I could call an hour later and he will break up with me. Its hard loving someone who is bipolar and I didnt realize how hard it would be until this.
Even though im not in the exact same situation you are I know how it is to take things personally and not know how to help. I wish I could take his pain away and make things like they used to be but I cant I sometimes think about the things he has said and they push me to stay and gives me hope things will work out. He doesnt talk to me much anymore so I dont know whats going on I sometimes feel its me but then I think its his illness. I love him more than anything and its an up and down relationship. My friends think I am crazy staying with him after all the things he puts me through but im crazy without him he have broken up several times and I thought I was going to die I cant be without him and evertime I talk to another guy thier not him and I dont like them because of it. So I keep hoping everything will get better and I hope things will work out for you too.

Hey again, thanks for all of the advice! Ive been supporting him and things were going great until a few days ago...His other side, the depressing one came out, for the past few days he has been depressed, he hasnt been calling me so I dont kno what I should do or how long this will last!!! I want to help him, but I dont want to mess things up and put our relationship on the line! Should I call him, leave him alone for a few days or what?!? Im so confused!!! Please help!!!!!

I posted a link below with many different articles on how family/friends can help their loved ones with bipolar. They are excellent articles and should really help you.


Http://bipolar.About.Com/od/familyissues/a /marriage.Htm

How old are the two of you?



I mean, why in the world are you, as a single person, willing to twirl tassels from your nether areas while limboing under a flaming pole in order to have someone call you and call you a promiscuous woman who rents access to her body?


If he is insecure, he needs to deal with it. And that may mean years. If he is bipolar, he needs to accept that and see a doctor or five, and deal with that too.

Support does not mean being a doormat, or a soft spot to land upon. He'll just feel free to go climbing up higher and higher and landing on you. You have already mentioned that your tension (and anxiety level) goes way down when he is out of the picture. I presume you are aware of what long-term stress can do to your body, right?



If you really feel compelled to rescue something, or someone, please, lavish love at a humane society, or nicu, or nursing home. And get therapy. Angriesout.Com check out the "drama triangle". Get off that merry-go-round ride from hell!



I would also recommend that you check out Heartless-b*tches.Com (replace the * with an i). Go to the manipulator files, check out the 125 red flags.



Mental illness is not some sort of free pass to abuse anyone. He's being a jerk and irresponsible. You are permitting it. That won't help anyone, in the long run. Including him.

Hi, well, I am 17 and he is 18. I dont want to feel like I need to call him. I actually wished I did not like him, its hard to deal with him, but I cant let go. He is insecure, but he wont do anything about it, hes fine at some times but at others he just wants to be alone. Yes, I support him, but the reason I am somewhat stressing this is because he does not come to me for anything at all, he goes to his friends and sometimes his parents, there is only one time he has ever wanted my help, I really want him to open up to me more just as I open up to him, but unfortunatelly, hes not like that...I want to break up with him, I dont want to feel like I need him, but I cant, ive tried it once, but it didnt work out :/