Depression Forum - What Is Wrong With Me?

Mood swings are controlling my life! Sometimes I can wake up looking forward to the day ahead & all that it brings, I can cope with anything & i'm content & happy. And then then the next i'm feeling sad, & horrible & that nothing is going my way, I can't do it, I won't become of anything, that kind of feeling! I start things but never seem to finish them because my motivation goes before I reach the end. Sometimes I lie just to make out that I am more than I am because I feel so useless & ashamed of what i'm 'not' acheiving. Infact my mood doesnt change daily, it could change within a split second. It makes me feel like i'm going mad. My relationship suffers so much. If I could just get it to stop - I hate been like this. After i've got angry or sad I always feel guilty & silly for the way I acted. What is wrong with me - why am I like this.
Can anyone suggest herbal pills or any coping strategies!

Replies(24)

ThomasJones

replied on May 19th, 2006

New User

I know exactly how you feel. I become so consumed with self-doubt and worry that I lose interest and cannot motivate myself to finish things I started. I tried bringing up this topic with my parents before, but they just tried to convince me everything was fine. They're parents, they want to hear things are great, and they don't want anyone "rocking the boat". I don't share my problems with friends as I don't want to alienate the few close ones I have by bringing them down.

Since I don't have health insurance i'm interested in herbal remedies and coping strategies, too. I can trick myself into putting on a happy face for a while, but eventually I realize my "happiness" rests atop a house of cards that inevitably crashes down.

Best of wishes to you.

kim121

replied on May 19th, 2006

New User

Hi Thomas

The quick answer is to try & concentrate on 1 thing at a time but unfortunately life doesn't allow us to concentrate on just 1 thing at a time... We have to juggle allot at once! So we need to know how to keep all of the juggleing balls in the air & not let them fall... I'm not sure how long or how severe your self doubt has been with you but you need to get a tight grip of the problem now before it gets a tight grip of you for the next 5 years or more... Have you ever had medication from your dr for depression - if so did it work! Xxx

ThomasJones

replied on May 19th, 2006

New User

I made an appointment with a primary physician about five years ago. It was a med group working out of a hospital, and the physician was a co-ky kid not long out of med school. I wasn't about to confide in him so I instead told him about an old athletic injury that really wasn't bothering me. I haven't gone back since. In the meantime i've dabbled with st. John's wort with little success.

johnR

replied on May 20th, 2006

Experienced User

You may want to join a cbt group to learn coping strategies. I am almost halfway through mine and the exercise called the tea form is starting to help me. It teaches you how to modify the way you react to things and eases stress. The book by sam obitz is good and has illustrations of the tea form in it. Hope you feel better.

ThomasJones

replied on May 22nd, 2006

New User

Thanks johnr, I just ordered sam obitz' book, and hope it gets here quickly so I can try the tea forms. I'm also giving st john's wort another try for 2-3 months. I hope I can get somewhere doing these as my lack of confidence has done great harm to my professional and personal lives.

Kim, how are you doing? Hanging in there? I don't have any great insight for you, but just know that you are not alone. I have a feeling i'll be unstoppable when I finally control my demons, and I know you will, too.

johnR

replied on May 23rd, 2006

Experienced User

thomasjones wrote:

thanks johnr, I just ordered sam obitz' book, and hope it gets here quickly so I can try the tea forms. I'm also giving st john's wort another try for 2-3 months. I hope I can get somewhere doing these as my lack of confidence has done great harm to my professional and personal lives.

Kim, how are you doing? Hanging in there? I don't have any great insight for you, but just know that you are not alone. I have a feeling i'll be unstoppable when I finally control my demons, and I know you will, too.

hi thomas, I hope it gets there quickly and that you find it as useful as I am finding it. The tea forms were difficult for me to catch on to using at first but now that I am figuring them out they are hugely helpful and it seems silly to me that I struggled so much with them initially because they are really very simple. I also think you will appreciate the tone of the book as it is not technical and preachy like so many of them are. Let me know how the tea forms work for you? Be patient with yourself as it may take a few weeks to get the hang of them.

johnR

replied on June 5th, 2006

Experienced User

Checking Back to See How You Are Doing

Hi thomas I was wondering how you are doing? I hope you have received the book by now and are trying the tea forms? I'll check back to see how you are faring.

ThomasJones

replied on June 5th, 2006

New User

Johnr -- I received the book and have already gone through it as it is a quick read. I liked how concise it was and how no words were wasted. It was written in layman's terms. I have started doing the tea forms in my mind. Baby steps. I will have to force myself to get a pen and write the tea forms out as that is the most effective way. Thanks again for recommending it.

johnR

replied on June 9th, 2006

Experienced User

thomasjones wrote:

johnr -- I received the book and have already gone through it as it is a quick read. I liked how concise it was and how no words were wasted. It was written in layman's terms. I have started doing the tea forms in my mind. Baby steps. I will have to force myself to get a pen and write the tea forms out as that is the most effective way. Thanks again for recommending it.

hi thomas, i'm glad you liked the book and already got through it and are doing the tea forms in your mind. Go at your own pace but do try and start doing them on paper because it really does seem to accelerate the process. I still do them in my mind but always try and do them on paper when I get up to start the day off right and again at night before bed. I'll keep checking back in case you have any questions and to let you know how i'm doing.

trying_to_cope

replied on June 12th, 2006

New User

Ditto

When it comes to the idea of tea forms, as the temptations would say (or sing).. "i second that emotion...." :)

they are helpful. I'm pretty sure you'll like the obitz book.

down

replied on June 13th, 2006

Experienced User

I go through this alot too..Can find something I like then maybe a few days later I never wanna do it again. I wanna go to the gym, 3 weeks to a month later I don't go for months..It's been 4 months now but I plan to go back for the summer when I have less hours at work and more time. It can get pretty depressing sometimes...I can go like this for days or weeks and feel worthless and just wanna curl up and be alone forever and never wanna leave my room or even go outside.

johnR

replied on June 19th, 2006

Experienced User

Down have you tried cbt? It may help you if you continue find yourself spiraling down. I went through similar emotions but not nearly as severe as it sounds like you are going through and learning to catch the thinking errors I was making and countering is helping more than I thought possible just a few months ago. Take care.

down

replied on June 19th, 2006

Experienced User

No lol I don't like to and cannot talk about my problems to people offline.

luvkittykats

replied on June 25th, 2006

Experienced User

Bump

johnR

replied on June 27th, 2006

Experienced User

down wrote:

no lol I don't like to and cannot talk about my problems to people offline.

down I know what you mean but cbt is not talk therapy it's almost like a class on how to help yourself by identifying and corercting the errors in your thoughts. It is working well for me and if you don't want to talk to anyone you can probably learn it through books or just google cbt and read about it. The tea form exercise is the one (of many I have now learned) that seems to help me the most. Give it a shot :p

Raggedy Anne

replied on June 29th, 2006

New User

I feel the same. I can't get the motivation to follow things through. The smallest things upset me more than they should. Things that used to make me happy don't. I find myself asking myself "what is wrong with me?" I doubt myself all the time. I feel unusually tired and food is unappetizing. I don't know how to talk to my friends or family about this.

johnR

replied on August 1st, 2006

Experienced User

Raggedy anne you may benefit from giving cbt a try. Perhaps the exercises could turn you into happy anne :lol:

trying_to_cope

replied on August 7th, 2006

New User

You Know...

Maybe you should consider changing your member name, and yes i'm being serious. By referring to yourself as "raggedy", don't you think that reinforces the sense that you're out of control and a failure? Just a thought.

johnR

replied on August 11th, 2006

Experienced User

Good idea.

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