Whe I was alittle girl I had anxiety well thats what my mum told me. I used to never be able to sleep I was constantly worried about everything even though children are never supposed to worry. I would worry so much that I would walk around the house all night clean up for my mum so when she would wake up the house would be spick and span. Then I would go to school feeling tired still worrying feeling guilty that I hadnt done something right. I used to get into trouble for day dreaming they would say. Its not uncommon for young children to have anxiety problems. I am now 21 and I have been diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. I was untreated with anxiety for my entire life. I felt sad and sick in my stomach one day I wentt to the doctors and he said for me to take zoloft 100 mgs I took that for 8 days then I had a seizure that lasted over 40 minutes all I remember is going to hospital by ambulance since taking my zoloft I have been an epileptic. I wonder if my anxietys were epilepsy my entire life
get your son to another doctor. Listen to what he tells you and dont think hes a good actor. What he says is probably true. I would see people that wernt supposed to be there at night I still do today. And I feel weird things. Listen to your son

Hi sami, thank you for your reply. I dont think my son is a good actor although I think I used to! I believe him but no one else does eg school/family & friends. I except the way he is but im not happy about it. I feel his childhood has been destroyed by this anxiety and I want to help him to get his life back. What I find hard to cope with is the reaction of other people towards him even those closest to us. They think he is just attention seeking and a brat. He has even been physically attacked by a family member and also is often ridiculed by others. I have a relative who is physically handicapped and has all the support needed as her disabilities are obvious. I feel my son is also disabled to some extent by his anxiety - but it cant be seen so no one believes it. I often wish I could whisk him away and protect him, but he has to learn to live in the real world. Its nice to know you have outgrown most of your anxiety, I hope I can help my son to do it too.

I have an 8 year old son who has a total lack of fear (except when it comes to sleeping in his room, I only got him out of my bed & into a fold out bed in my room last month & he'll be 9 in 2 weeks)& just takes off to places unlnknown without telling us we just look up & he's gone!

On the other hand he's been talking about he should be dead/ we'd be better off without him etc since a few weeks after he turned 7 & he's even tried to put a knife through his head & does alot of dangerous things. He also sees & feels spirits & talks to them (my daughter {15} does too - they both have since babies)(we believe in spirits but it can distress children, my daughter was comfortable & had the language & thinking skills to discuss it but my son is different so won't generally discuss it.

We've tried lots of things (including fighting with school & other authorities) & he's now seeing a psychologist & psychiatrist together so we'll see.

In your case I think it might help if you could get some "medical tests" done, this might help provide verification of what is going on (an eeg for starters could be useful as could testing for add/adhd) it might provide information & may get you (or rather him) some help & protection from the people who are rubbishing him & his problems.

Another thought, or two, naturopathy/homeopathy(worth a try?) & hypnosis??

Good luck

Thank you for your suggestions. I have approached the doctors about hypnotherapy but they will not approve it for a child. I live in the uk and find there is very little help of this kind for children. For adults - there's a lot more help available.
My son sees a child pyschiatrist ( the only one in my area) I have been told they can only offer councelling and medication. I am worried about the tablets he is on as they have recently had a bad review, but his pyschiatrist said there is not enough evidence against them. I have asked for tests for chemical imbalance etc, but again they will not comply.
My son has an extreme fear of going to school and we are constantly battling with the authorities to try to get my son into a special school where the teachers are more experienced and understanding in these matters, but at present, as he has no specific learning difficulties they wont allow it. We'll keep trying!
I have never seen him so low and depressed as he was this christmas, he admitted he had tried to strangle himself with his school tie

Hello again,
sounds like you need to do some research. Then take your son where he needs to go. Sit down with him talk to him see if he will realy tell you what is going on if he even knows. It is scarey I know I have been there. I slept with a torch my entire life til I was 17 or so. I know it sounds pathetic but I know. I was afraid of ghosts and I had a fear of dying I didnt want to die. Then my uncle and best friend died and I went back to how I was when I was little I slept with the light on for over a year. I would see my uncle walk through the wall. He would sit beside me and this would freak me out so bad that I couldnt jump off my bed because it was to terrifying I couldnt scream because no one else could see what I could. Then I would cover my face with my hands and say this isnt real go away go away. When I took my hands away he was gone. I still feel him around me he follows me everywhere I move. I feel that precance and I tell him to get away. He goes. Its taken me along time to get the courage to tell ghosts that I feel to get away. But I am ok with that now.Its all passed and I cant believe how pathetic I used to be. I should say your son will grow out of what he is going through aswell. You say you are in the uk ring around. You may find somewhere that is willing to help him. Have you ever considered he may be adhd. I had a cousin that would do the same as me clean the walls. During the night stuff like that afraid to go out doors. To think about it now. My nanna gave me a crystal and she told me to wish upon it when I felt scared and I felt better. Maybe do the same for your son crystals have healing powers.

Hi mum of 3,
i too live in the uk and last year I had to have an mri scan which caused me to have panic attacks afterwards due to the "closed in" feeling.
I only had 3 but it was terrifying and I thought I was going to die.
Like your son I was afraid I would not be able to get on a plane which would have been a problem as we have recently bought a home abroad.
However I tried reiki I had about 4 sessions and I have not had one since, that was last may.

Anything is worth trying
let me know if I can help further

Mumof3,

i have often been to & even lived in the uk, so I know abit about how close places really are there, as opposed to here in australia where well we could fit all of the continent with space left over!!. You also did have fantastic intercity buses & trains etc if you lack a car.

My daughter was almost lost to us last year because of incomptetent drs & misdiagnosis. At the end I just got the phone books out & started phoning until I found the "right" help. I started with drs, hospitals, etc etc near us (& I was lucky, I found a place that had only been open 4 weeks which has a wonderful dr (a psychiatrist, although that wasn't her problem area - but he sees a patient as a person, a whole person & he trats each person on that basis). I was prepared to keep going further from home until I found someone/somewhere that I felt had an open mind & would listen to us & our daughter & consider all possibilities & do whatever tests he felt were needed (which he did, not only based on her but also our family history) & he found the problem. In her case, not anorexia nervosa but a medication she'd been on for 4 months 12 months ago which in rare cases causes massive weight loss etc.

So I agree with sami about doing some research (the internet & search engines etc are great for that) & about not just sitting down with your son, but as you have 2 others maybe take him away or send the others away for a weekend & have some quiet quality time & let him talk about how he feels, what he feels, what happens to him emotionally & physically. When this started & then maybe you can all as a family work to help him. This could also help you both research & take up my suggestion of picking up the phone & calling people till you find someone with an open mind.

I still think alternative medicines are worth looking into as well. In the menatime it's also important that he not fall behind his age group at school so try & organize home tuition or kids here who are sick study by correspondence - at home. As to hypnotherapy damn the dr find one & go & see him/her, it may cost but if they feel it could help it's worth a try.

Perhaps too as he has so many anxiety related problems you might try some relaxation tapes (do them with him, it helps for a child to know that they're not alone. Also if you can get a supplement called 5htp (this is what our body turns tryptophan into & what balances our stress related brain chemicals - tryptophan occurs naturally in tonnes of foods but if we're overstressed we can not convert it to 5htp - you can look this up to verify it on the net.)

again good luck

To sami 1982 and purple 333
i dont quite know how I stumbled across this forum, but i'm glad I did. I was feeling low and felt no one else could possibly understand. Your replies and suggestions have inspired me to keep trying.
Thank you

Dear mumof3
im glad that I found you its good to be able to talk to someone who can understand me.
I was lying in bed lastnight thinking about my childhood and how I was back then. I remembered something. I got worse with my anxieties during the winter I guess its because my childhood home was huge and the corradoors were long and scarey and thats why I would run and not walk anywhere. I would be scared to go to the toilet alone so my siblings would follow me. My brother and sister have panic attacks. So did my mother. And my mothers mother was in mental institutions always as I can remember for seind ghosts and then burning down her houses. So as you can see this all runs in my family. Now my sister and brothers panic attacks. Well what they say is that they feel like everything is small or they are big. They say that they cant hear properly that everyone around them is mumbling then their heart beats fast and they can hear everything so sharp. When they walk it feels like they are moving fast or either slow. They say it all depends. I often wonder to myself if my mother had epilepsy as a child in puberty. And what my brother sister and I used to feel is also a kind of abcense seizure or petit mal kind.
But we have all had our hearts checked regularly through childhood. Because my mums brother died at age 34 of a massive heart attack. I think he was a very stressed out man
thankyou for taking the time to listen to my words.

Hi sami,
yes I wonder if my sons condition is heredetary. My nephew is 22 and is now in a mental home diagnosed with scitzophrenia. He had similar problems to my son years ago and I wonder if he had more support would he be as bad now. I worry about my sons health.
It sounds like you had a very stressfull childhood. If one family member is depressed or has panic attacks it is bound to affect other family members also.
You seem to be more in control now you are older. Well done!

My daughter & I see a psychiatrist who believes that most "things" are hereditary in some way, either by genes or environment. He is also a huge believer in natural cures (vitamin/mineral/homeopathy etc) so for my daughters stress he (as said before) has her on 5htp & I may well be on it in a couple of weeks (he's looking at hereditary things with us as he doesn't usually see members of the same family).

One of my cousins was set to lose (transplants directed) both her kidneys, she refused & set about researching what viatmins etc she needed. She did stop taking bex powders(these pain kilers caused alot of kidney problems)but still drinks wine etc, smokes & leads a very active life, only now instead of one dead & one 1/2 operating kidney she has one whole & one almost whole functioning kidney, & that's 30 years later!!
The drs of course still maintain that it can't be the vitamins but they can't offer any other explanation either.

I know that's a purely medical example but it is a good example of how worthwhile it can be to do some research into vitamins & minerals.

The other thing that occurred to me the other night was food colourings & additives. Have either of you considered that these things might at least make things worse?? They could even be a trigger?? Worth considering at any rate.

I wasnt sure what 5htp was - never heard of it, but I went to the health shop to find out. We are seeing the physchologists today so I wil ask their opinion too.
Diet is a problem with my son, he only eats certain foods, I think this is something to do with his obsessional disorder. But we keep trying. I always think "we are what we eat". I have tried vitamin supplements too but he refuses to try anything.
Another nightmare trying to get him to school again today. The fear and distress it causes him is unbearable.
By the way, my son is "mikey". I helped him with his first entry. Im hoping he will have a go at "this" to get support and maybe he will realise that he's not the only one who feels the way he does.

I posted a reply to mikey, & i'm glad that his mum knows, I was abit worried about a 13 yre old on-line without parental ok. I guess u saw my reply. As to the 5htp it's what our body converts tryptophan into & is what my dtrs psychiatrist has her on & it's a naturally occurring substance.
Go on line to a search engine & look up both tryptphan & 5htp that will give you information. This psychiatrist is really unusual, he treats the whole person not just the mind & he considers family history etc too, shame he's in australia. I'll be interested to see mikey's reply (i hope he tries to answer all my questions, sometimes we can tell strangers things we can't tell parents or someone face to face.

What foods does he eat?? My son will take any tablet so long as it has tomato sauce(ketchup) on it!! Maybe not the best idea but great to know for when I need him to take something!! Maybe by mikey posting & getting advice direct he will listen - it's worth a try!!

I have mildish (mainly because over the years i've learnt to control the worst of it!!) ocd so I understand the obsessional part. Could he be homeschooled, even just for awhile till he starts to get a better hold on what's going on? Although I do think that he also needs to keep in touch with friends for social reasons so that it doesn't become impossible to get back with them, kids that age can be so hard & cruel.

He says he has a problem & is worried, you mention the fear & distress it causes him is unbearable maybe he needs to (& you too) talk about the alternatives. I mean the alternative is that he never leaves the house, never goes to the movies or on a date, or gets a job, or finishes school so ends up unemployable (even if he gets better) so if this doesn't appeal to him then he needs to decide what he wants & then make the choices that get him what he wants.

What i'm getting at is if he wants to get better then maybe he has to accept doing(school/psychologist etc) & taking (vitamins/minerals etc) & eating foods that have less additives & colourings to see if any of this makes a difference. But show him the options & ask him what he wants. He's not a baby he's a young man who has a right to be involved in the decision making about his life, this may also help him feel like he has some control of his life. Don't ask him to do it all at once, I believe in baby steps. Like I told him, learn to smile even when he doesn't feel like it, then maybe try not eating foods with certain colourings & see, then try some vitamins or 5htp. Vitamin b6 is good for stress as is a long hot bath with some nice smelling essential oil (usually more a girl thing, but dsome males like this too, my husband does.

Keep in touch.