Hello. My son is 13 years old and has had
anxiety related problems for 8 years. It
seemed to begin with agoraphobia. He has
panic attacks and obsessional tendencies.
He is on antidepressant (sertraline).
Last year he seemed to be getting better
until we tried to go on holiday abroad but
he had a panic attack on the plane and we
got off. Since then he has gone downhill.
He has not been at school for 6 months
this time. He constantly feels sick and
worries all day. He is now extremely
clingy and it is difficult for my husband
and myself to go anywhere. We feel we
are not getting enough support even from
family and friends, as people find it hard
to believe my sons problems. One person
told me to give him a slap! If it was as
easy as that id have done it years ago!
Has anyone any advice please.
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sami_1982
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2003 Posts: 200 Location: Australia
Anxiety Posted: 01-10-04 00:51am
Whe I was alittle girl I had anxiety well
thats what my mum told me. I used to
never be able to sleep I was constantly
worried about everything even though
children are never supposed to worry. I
would worry so much that I would walk
around the house all night clean up for my
mum so when she would wake up the house
would be spick and span. Then I would go
to school feeling tired still worrying
feeling guilty that I hadnt done something
right. I used to get into trouble for day
dreaming they would say. Its not uncommon
for young children to have anxiety
problems. I am now 21 and I have been
diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. I
was untreated with anxiety for my entire
life. I felt sad and sick in my stomach
one day I wentt to the doctors and he said
for me to take zoloft 100 mgs I took that
for 8 days then I had a seizure that
lasted over 40 minutes all I remember is
going to hospital by ambulance since
taking my zoloft I have been an epileptic.
I wonder if my anxietys were epilepsy my
entire life
get your son to another doctor. Listen to
what he tells you and dont think hes a
good actor. What he says is probably
true. I would see people that wernt
supposed to be there at night I still do
today. And I feel weird things. Listen
to your son
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mumof3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Anxiety Posted: 01-10-04 05:35am
Hi sami, thank you for your reply. I dont
think my son is a good actor although I
think I used to! I believe him but no one
else does eg school/family & friends.
I except the way he is but im not happy
about it. I feel his childhood has been
destroyed by this anxiety and I want to
help him to get his life back. What I
find hard to cope with is the reaction of
other people towards him even those
closest to us. They think he is just
attention seeking and a brat. He has even
been physically attacked by a family
member and also is often ridiculed by
others. I have a relative who is
physically handicapped and has all the
support needed as her disabilities are
obvious. I feel my son is also disabled
to some extent by his anxiety - but it
cant be seen so no one believes it. I
often wish I could whisk him away and
protect him, but he has to learn to live
in the real world. Its nice to know you
have outgrown most of your anxiety, I hope
I can help my son to do it too.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-10-04 10:34am
I have an 8 year old son who has a total
lack of fear (except when it comes to
sleeping in his room, I only got him out
of my bed & into a fold out bed in my
room last month & he'll be 9 in 2
weeks)& just takes off to places
unlnknown without telling us we just look
up & he's gone!
On the other hand he's been talking about
he should be dead/ we'd be better off
without him etc since a few weeks after he
turned 7 & he's even tried to put a
knife through his head & does alot of
dangerous things. He also sees &
feels spirits & talks to them (my
daughter {15} does too - they both have
since babies)(we believe in spirits but it
can distress children, my daughter was
comfortable & had the language &
thinking skills to discuss it but my son
is different so won't generally discuss
it.
We've tried lots of things (including
fighting with school & other
authorities) & he's now seeing a
psychologist & psychiatrist together
so we'll see.
In your case I think it might help if you
could get some "medical tests" done, this
might help provide verification of what is
going on (an eeg for starters could be
useful as could testing for add/adhd) it
might provide information & may get
you (or rather him) some help &
protection from the people who are
rubbishing him & his problems.
Another thought, or two,
naturopathy/homeopathy(worth a try?) &
hypnosis??
Good luck
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mumof3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Child With Anxiety Posted: 01-10-04 15:58pm
Thank you for your suggestions. I have
approached the doctors about hypnotherapy
but they will not approve it for a child.
I live in the uk and find there is very
little help of this kind for children.
For adults - there's a lot more help
available.
My son sees a child pyschiatrist ( the
only one in my area) I have been told they
can only offer councelling and medication.
I am worried about the tablets he is on
as they have recently had a bad review,
but his pyschiatrist said there is not
enough evidence against them. I have
asked for tests for chemical imbalance
etc, but again they will not comply.
My son has an extreme fear of going to
school and we are constantly battling
with the authorities to try to get my son
into a special school where the teachers
are more experienced and understanding in
these matters, but at present, as he has
no specific learning difficulties they
wont allow it. We'll keep trying!
I have never seen him so low and depressed
as he was this christmas, he admitted he
had tried to strangle himself with his
school tie
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sami_1982
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2003 Posts: 200 Location: Australia
Dear Mum Posted: 01-11-04 00:55am
Hello again,
sounds like you need to
do some research. Then take your son
where he needs to go. Sit down with him
talk to him see if he will realy tell you
what is going on if he even knows. It is
scarey I know I have been there. I slept
with a torch my entire life til I was 17
or so. I know it sounds pathetic but I
know. I was afraid of ghosts and I had a
fear of dying I didnt want to die. Then
my uncle and best friend died and I went
back to how I was when I was little I
slept with the light on for over a year.
I would see my uncle walk through the
wall. He would sit beside me and this
would freak me out so bad that I couldnt
jump off my bed because it was to
terrifying I couldnt scream because no one
else could see what I could. Then I would
cover my face with my hands and say this
isnt real go away go away. When I took my
hands away he was gone. I still feel him
around me he follows me everywhere I move.
I feel that precance and I tell him to
get away. He goes. Its taken me along
time to get the courage to tell ghosts
that I feel to get away. But I am ok with
that now.Its all passed and I cant believe
how pathetic I used to be. I should say
your son will grow out of what he is going
through aswell. You say you are in the uk
ring around. You may find somewhere that
is willing to help him. Have you ever
considered he may be adhd. I had a cousin
that would do the same as me clean the
walls. During the night stuff like that
afraid to go out doors. To think about it
now. My nanna gave me a crystal and she
told me to wish upon it when I felt scared
and I felt better. Maybe do the same for
your son crystals have healing powers.
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HDH
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 12 Location: UK
Child With Panic Attacks Posted: 01-11-04 08:40am
Hi mum of 3,
i too live in the uk and last year I had
to have an mri scan which caused me to
have panic attacks afterwards due to the
"closed in" feeling.
I only had 3 but it was terrifying and I
thought I was going to die.
Like your son I was afraid I would not be
able to get on a plane which would have
been a problem as we have recently bought
a home abroad.
However I tried reiki I had about 4
sessions and I have not had one since,
that was last may.
Anything is worth trying
let me know if I can help further
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-11-04 08:47am
Mumof3,
i have often been to & even lived in
the uk, so I know abit about how close
places really are there, as opposed to
here in australia where well we could fit
all of the continent with space left
over!!. You also did have fantastic
intercity buses & trains etc if you
lack a car.
My daughter was almost lost to us last
year because of incomptetent drs &
misdiagnosis. At the end I just got the
phone books out & started phoning
until I found the "right" help. I started
with drs, hospitals, etc etc near us
(& I was lucky, I found a place that
had only been open 4 weeks which has a
wonderful dr (a psychiatrist, although
that wasn't her problem area - but he sees
a patient as a person, a whole person
& he trats each person on that basis).
I was prepared to keep going further from
home until I found someone/somewhere that
I felt had an open mind & would listen
to us & our daughter & consider
all possibilities & do whatever tests
he felt were needed (which he did, not
only based on her but also our family
history) & he found the problem. In
her case, not anorexia nervosa but a
medication she'd been on for 4 months 12
months ago which in rare cases causes
massive weight loss etc.
So I agree with sami about doing some
research (the internet & search
engines etc are great for that) &
about not just sitting down with your son,
but as you have 2 others maybe take him
away or send the others away for a weekend
& have some quiet quality time &
let him talk about how he feels, what he
feels, what happens to him emotionally
& physically. When this started &
then maybe you can all as a family work to
help him. This could also help you both
research & take up my suggestion of
picking up the phone & calling people
till you find someone with an open mind.
I still think alternative medicines are
worth looking into as well. In the
menatime it's also important that he not
fall behind his age group at school so try
& organize home tuition or kids here
who are sick study by correspondence - at
home. As to hypnotherapy damn the dr find
one & go & see him/her, it may
cost but if they feel it could help it's
worth a try.
Perhaps too as he has so many anxiety
related problems you might try some
relaxation tapes (do them with him, it
helps for a child to know that they're not
alone. Also if you can get a supplement
called 5htp (this is what our body turns
tryptophan into & what balances our
stress related brain chemicals -
tryptophan occurs naturally in tonnes of
foods but if we're overstressed we can not
convert it to 5htp - you can look this up
to verify it on the net.)
again good luck
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mumof3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Child With Anxiety Posted: 01-11-04 19:52pm
To sami 1982 and purple 333
i dont quite know how I stumbled across
this forum, but i'm glad I did. I was
feeling low and felt no one else could
possibly understand. Your replies and
suggestions have inspired me to keep
trying.
Thank you
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sami_1982
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2003 Posts: 200 Location: Australia
Hello Mumof3 Posted: 01-12-04 00:59am
Dear mumof3
im glad that I found
you its good to be able to talk to someone
who can understand me.
I was lying in bed lastnight thinking
about my childhood and how I was back
then. I remembered something. I got
worse with my anxieties during the winter
I guess its because my childhood home was
huge and the corradoors were long and
scarey and thats why I would run and not
walk anywhere. I would be scared to go to
the toilet alone so my siblings would
follow me. My brother and sister have
panic attacks. So did my mother. And my
mothers mother was in mental institutions
always as I can remember for seind ghosts
and then burning down her houses. So as
you can see this all runs in my family.
Now my sister and brothers panic attacks.
Well what they say is that they feel like
everything is small or they are big. They
say that they cant hear properly that
everyone around them is mumbling then
their heart beats fast and they can hear
everything so sharp. When they walk it
feels like they are moving fast or either
slow. They say it all depends. I often
wonder to myself if my mother had epilepsy
as a child in puberty. And what my
brother sister and I used to feel is also
a kind of abcense seizure or petit mal
kind.
But we have all had our hearts checked
regularly through childhood. Because my
mums brother died at age 34 of a massive
heart attack. I think he was a very
stressed out man
thankyou for taking the time to listen to
my words.
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mumof3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Child With Anxiety Posted: 01-12-04 07:30am
Hi sami,
yes I wonder if my sons condition is
heredetary. My nephew is 22 and is now in
a mental home diagnosed with
scitzophrenia. He had similar problems to
my son years ago and I wonder if he had
more support would he be as bad now. I
worry about my sons health.
It sounds like you had a very stressfull
childhood. If one family member is
depressed or has panic attacks it is bound
to affect other family members also.
You seem to be more in control now you are
older. Well done!
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-13-04 02:45am
My daughter & I see a psychiatrist who
believes that most "things" are hereditary
in some way, either by genes or
environment. He is also a huge believer
in natural cures
(vitamin/mineral/homeopathy etc) so for my
daughters stress he (as said before) has
her on 5htp & I may well be on it in a
couple of weeks (he's looking at
hereditary things with us as he doesn't
usually see members of the same family).
One of my cousins was set to lose
(transplants directed) both her kidneys,
she refused & set about researching
what viatmins etc she needed. She did
stop taking bex powders(these pain kilers
caused alot of kidney problems)but still
drinks wine etc, smokes & leads a very
active life, only now instead of one dead
& one 1/2 operating kidney she has one
whole & one almost whole functioning
kidney, & that's 30 years later!!
The drs of course still maintain that it
can't be the vitamins but they can't offer
any other explanation either.
I know that's a purely medical example but
it is a good example of how worthwhile it
can be to do some research into vitamins
& minerals.
The other thing that occurred to me the
other night was food colourings &
additives. Have either of you considered
that these things might at least make
things worse?? They could even be a
trigger?? Worth considering at any rate.
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mumof3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2004 Posts: 6
Posted: 01-13-04 04:23am
I wasnt sure what 5htp was - never heard
of it, but I went to the health shop to
find out. We are seeing the
physchologists today so I wil ask their
opinion too.
Diet is a problem with my son, he only
eats certain foods, I think this is
something to do with his obsessional
disorder. But we keep trying. I always
think "we are what we eat". I have tried
vitamin supplements too but he refuses to
try anything.
Another nightmare trying to get him to
school again today. The fear and distress
it causes him is unbearable.
By the way, my son is "mikey". I helped
him with his first entry. Im hoping he
will have a go at "this" to get support
and maybe he will realise that he's not
the only one who feels the way he does.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-13-04 06:29am
I posted a reply to mikey, & i'm glad
that his mum knows, I was abit worried
about a 13 yre old on-line without
parental ok. I guess u saw my reply. As
to the 5htp it's what our body converts
tryptophan into & is what my dtrs
psychiatrist has her on & it's a
naturally occurring substance.
Go on line to a search engine & look
up both tryptphan & 5htp that will
give you information. This psychiatrist
is really unusual, he treats the whole
person not just the mind & he
considers family history etc too, shame
he's in australia. I'll be interested to
see mikey's reply (i hope he tries to
answer all my questions, sometimes we can
tell strangers things we can't tell
parents or someone face to face.
What foods does he eat?? My son will take
any tablet so long as it has tomato
sauce(ketchup) on it!! Maybe not the best
idea but great to know for when I need him
to take something!! Maybe by mikey
posting & getting advice direct he
will listen - it's worth a try!!
I have mildish (mainly because over the
years i've learnt to control the worst of
it!!) ocd so I understand the obsessional
part. Could he be homeschooled, even just
for awhile till he starts to get a better
hold on what's going on? Although I do
think that he also needs to keep in touch
with friends for social reasons so that it
doesn't become impossible to get back with
them, kids that age can be so hard &
cruel.
He says he has a problem & is worried,
you mention the fear & distress it
causes him is unbearable maybe he needs to
(& you too) talk about the
alternatives. I mean the alternative is
that he never leaves the house, never goes
to the movies or on a date, or gets a job,
or finishes school so ends up unemployable
(even if he gets better) so if this
doesn't appeal to him then he needs to
decide what he wants & then make the
choices that get him what he wants.
What i'm getting at is if he wants to get
better then maybe he has to accept
doing(school/psychologist etc) &
taking (vitamins/minerals etc) &
eating foods that have less additives
& colourings to see if any of this
makes a difference. But show him the
options & ask him what he wants. He's
not a baby he's a young man who has a
right to be involved in the decision
making about his life, this may also help
him feel like he has some control of his
life. Don't ask him to do it all at once,
I believe in baby steps. Like I told him,
learn to smile even when he doesn't feel
like it, then maybe try not eating foods
with certain colourings & see, then
try some vitamins or 5htp. Vitamin b6 is
good for stress as is a long hot bath with
some nice smelling essential oil (usually
more a girl thing, but dsome males like
this too, my husband does.
