Losing Effort to Live...

Okay everyone thanks for helping...I was hoping I could find someone to talk to about this mdd I have, but I can't talk to family, can't talk to friends, and now, I scream out to the world, but I get nothing. Why did I even bother...? I know someone wants to say "hey, maybe you should go see a counselor." well it's not that easy. This illness is a very personal one, and I don't want everyone that I know personally to think that i'm some nutjob. But oh well...What can I do, right? Not a whole lot...I can't stop the whole world from being heartless.

Hello I just wanted to comment and let u know that it sounds like you need more help then the internet can offer u. It's hard for us or at least me to assist u with your problem if the no one knows the root of your problem. Are you having problems in school, family problems, social problems? Those are some of the things that need to be discussed before someone can help you get through your depression. I'm sorry you feel the way that you do and it sounds like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders but if you just confide in one trusting person i'm sure u can get through it and that may mean seeking professional help. Having thoughts of suicide is very serious and its nothing to play around with and if that is how you feel I urge u to seek help.

I didn't ask for professional help, I asked for someone to talk to...Anyone. Just not anybody I know personally, I don't want to scare them.

Ok

For nearly all my life up to today, i've felt left out, unwanted, isolated, and alone. I've tried nearly everything to cope with my depression. I tried to ignore it, it comes back harder. I've tried doing something active, and it only helps for a little while, then it comes back. I've tried even doing something creative, and I bought a guitar, learned to play a little and still I feel i'm under attack. Now i'm trying to talk about to let it all out...

It's all I said above and to top it all off, being heartbroken for about 1 straight year (to this day).

And to that other guy that asked if I should just go out and do something (play sports, go out driving) hello if you read the symptoms for this illness, you don't want to do anything at all. You only want to lay in your bed, and go to sleep, and pray to god that you won't wake up, but you still do. It's like a prison. And besides, I lost my drivers license last august so theres no driving at all anymore.

Hi,

when I was 14, I tried to commit suicide with my moms sleeping tablets. I felt really low, and everything in life felt really dark and depressing. At school I was bullied because I was a loner and I was an easy target. People at school used to call me names and it hurt so much. I wasn't very bright so anytime we had to get into a group for something at school, I was always left till last, and the teacher has to always pair up with me.
I came from a family where they did try their best with me, but I guess sometimes it never is enough.
My mom had schitozphrenia, ans she used to flair up at me or any other family member for no reason. The things she came out with were horrid and hateful at times, but this is what the diesease does to you. At times my life felt really low, I felt I didn't have anyone to talk to, which made thing worse. But slowly I came out of my depression, and suddenly seemed to look differently at life. I am not completly cured, but I hated feeling so down it felt worse that physical pain. Sometimes when life gets me down, I can feel myself slipping into depression, it scares me, but forums like this one does help, as you don't feel the only one out there.

Emily

You are not alone on this and their are people that love you that do not want to lose you, think of them, just try to get involved with those that care about you. Their is nothing wrong with seeking a little professional help after a while, heck, we all need a little help sometime in our lives, we are not perfect and their is nothing to be ashamed of. Their are support groups and other positive ways of helping you. Sit down talk to your family, tell them what is going on, they cannot help you if thy do not know and you are trying to shut them out. Yes, we are here for you too! Please do not hurt thosthat care about you!
The best to you!