Wow 5 views and no replies!! Hard going! :cry:

Hey hun! Of course everyone will be nice to you!
Ok so what is it you want? I'm guessing from the way you are talking you want to lose weight but do you want to be healthy and happy or thin and miserable?
I know exaclty how you feel. I am up now because I ate today and I can't go to bed because I feel the food in my stomach and it just feels so discusting and in the morning I know I will wake up and I will regret it so much.
Anway, have you ever gone to an ed therapist? You know using food as a way to cope with life does nothing but bring you pain, sadness and makes you feel so lonely. The thoughts in your head that are all about food and how bad a person you are and things like that are what are making you feel " fat " because when your thoughts are heavy you feel heavy but when your thoughts are calm and light then you will feel thinner. Its about how you think about yourself and you life and at the moment that is all very negative for you, so it is natural that you are going to feel big.
Losing weight in a healthy way with your thoughts sorted out and faced and dealt with, is fine but if you lose weight and still have those thoughts going over and over in your head than you could be a size 0 and still feel like your overweight.
Its hell living like this and you defianlty deserve more, why let yourself go through this over and over again because in the end of the day with the help of others only you can change the way you think about yourself and your life and as a result you will feel better and thinner then you do now.
I am not agreeing with you that you are overweight because that is coming from you and at the moment you do not like yourself and will see everything in a negative way but from what your friends say you are a very attractive girl!
Oh by the way you said that you eat junk food but try not to eat anything at all. You are set up for disaster right there because if you train yourself to not eat your body is going to crave food and even if you don't want it, your body needs it.
The best way to lose weight and I can say this works because I know people who have done it. Eat something every 3 hours. Eggs in the morning, fruit at like 11, then soup for lunch, natural nuts are brilliant for you and then a dinner and that would be like some meat, vegtables and fish stuff like that. Eat every 3 hours and drink at least 2 ltrs of water a day and after a few weeks you will notice the difference. Medically its proven to work because at the moment your body is probably retaining fluid that your body is holding onto for some form of engry and when you eat properly that will go and you will look thinner just from the lose of the fluid. And don't take that the wrong way, my very is extremely underweight, she is actually very sick, dying and she has fluid retention too, so it doesn't mean your fat at all.
Anyway I think I have said like lots here, so sorry didn't mean to go on for that long.
I will be on here for a while so write back if you want k!
I hope this helps a little bit, I understand what you are going through because I am going through the same thing and its hell, it really is.

Take care!
Xxxxx

Thank you butterfly.....So many points to address!

Well to start with I just plucked up enough courage to stand on the scales and I wish I hadnt now - nearly 16 stone - worse than I thought.

"anway, have you ever gone to an ed therapist? "
no I havent - to be honest I never really thought my problem was that serious, but it is starting to bother me a bit now.

"ok so what is it you want? I'm guessing from the way you are talking you want to lose weight but do you want to be healthy and happy or thin and miserable? "
what do I want??? Hmmm...I got down to 13 stone 7 when I was following a healthy eating plan so I know I can do it but it does take will power and to be honest even though I desperately want to be that weight again I dont feel I have the energy to do it as I feel so drained.

I know that if I increase my exercise it will help cos at the moment I dont seem to be doing much - again cos of the drained feeling. It is a vicious circle...If I exercise I will feel better for several reasons and it will give me more energy but I have to find the energy and enthusiasm to do it in the first place.

When I was 19 (i am now 26...Cringe..Lol) I was a size 14 and I guess even then I felt a little fat. But I was looking at photos the other day of me then and I would kill to have a figure like that again! Crazy isnt it? You just dont see these things until it is too late.

So in conclusion I would like to aim for the following...
1- to get back down to 13 and a half stone (still a healthy weight for my height as I checked with gp)
2- I would love to be a size 14 again - the photos really inspired me - I think I would have more confidence now, knowing I look like I did in those pics
3-i want to try to go back to my healthy eating plan where I can still eat a bit of everything - its all about moderation.
4- I want to be more active - although I have to be very careful as I have quite bad back problems that can be triggered by the wrong type of exercise.

Some days are better than others...Although I still feel overweight, I can see what I have to do to correct it - I just need the support and encouragement of others to help me get the ball rolling.

My mum has battled with her weight for years now and as horrible as it sounds, I dont want to end up as heavy as her. Its not too late for me to sort this out and take control of my life again.

Every time u feel like eating, grab a carrot or baby carrots, so wen u really are hungry you get surprised how u dont even eat that much

That can really work :) or you can also cut your thoughts when you are thinking about food and eating, and go outside for a walk or do something else that is completelly different from what you are thinking. I usually study, read a book, make necklaces, etc.
Try t and tell us how you have been doing, ok?

Wish you the best.