Hello all,

before I start ranting I want to make this post about sharing pain stories… so, what frustrates you when if comes to your pain??

Here is my week. I am having a really horrible few days...

It's been raining for like a week straight here in chi-town and my hip is killing me!

I also have this strange pain in my wrist, sharp, stabbing...I can't even turn the key in the car without having to use two hands... I've had to use my crutches and since it is my right hip that is all jacked up (slipped capital femoral epiphysis) and so it has been aggravating my wrist. I don’t know if it is carpal tunnel because it has come on far too quickly and is centered right in the middle of where the hand connects to the wrist.

Then there is this strange thing with my left shoulder!!! I am 99% sure that it hurts so bad because of the way that I sleep when my hip and knee hurt this bad. My shoulder actually wakes me up more now then my hip… I sleep on my stomach because it is the position that least hurts my hip and so when I tuck my arm under the pillow, above my head, my shoulder feels like someone is stabbing the rotator cuff… it only starts to hurt like this when my hip hurts… I don’t get it. The knee pain I understand! Bad placement of the hip causes strain of the knee combined with the radiating pain from the hip, but the left shoulder???????? How does that fit in to the whole right hip thing?

Sigh… then combine it all with the stress of the depression and the fact that I believe I lost the flash drive that contains a ton of important business stuff and I am in a right state.

This post is here because it is all based on the hip pain, everything else results from that.

I also got a blow from a story from a friend of my father’s… his friend’s x-wife, who smokes crack and does coke on a regular basis and is also an alcoholic and has whored herself for drugs in the past, (quality woman, I assure you…lol) had back pain. She went to the major hospital in winnetka, the rich area of chicago, the place that ton’s of really famous people have come from like john balushi, and the whole “blues brother’s” group and dozen’s of others that I can’t remember, so anyways, she went to the big, expensive, hospital, got all kinds of expensive tests done one her, they found a cyst on her spine and within a week she was on the table having the surgery and they helped her fill out all the paperwork so she didn’t have to pay for any of it, because she was technically homeless at the time, and she has had all of her health care taken care of, courtesy of the state/fed’s, ever since!

She didn’t listen to the doctors and inject the antibiotics they gave to her into the stint (a line right into the major artery so that you don’t need to use a needle in the skin to inject med’s.) and so now, about 6 months later, the back pain is back and they found that the cyst has returned and there is probably an infection because all she did was eat the pain killers, and smoke the crack, and didn’t do anything the doctor told her like use the antibiotics, no heavy lifting, anti-fooking-biotics…

so she is going back in for major fooking surgery and it is all for free!

I can’t walk, I can’t think, the stress is causing singles and cold sore flare up’s constantly, (i’m only 25 years old! That shouldn’t be happening until i’m like 50!) i’m having panic attacks and depression that has led me to try and kill myself more times then I can remember… I am forced to beg my family to pay for my $200.00 a month bill for the antidepressants that keep me from offing’ myself…i’m having flashbacks to the abuse of my mother because of mother’s day and then flashbacks and intrusive thoughts about the mentally and sexually abusive relationship with my x that I finally got out of after 4 years of codependency…

she is a fooking crack prostitute and she lives in winnetka and has all her health care taken care of despite the fact that all of this new stuff is her own god damned fault!!! Of course they won’t treat her for her multiple mental illnesses because she refuses to admit that she is mentally ill (if you ever met her you would understand) so that is not the doctor’s fault. It’s always the truly mentally ill that believe that they are fine…

god! I am just so fooking bitter and jaded…

they fix her despite the fact that once she is fixed she will continue to be a drain on society yet ignore me when my only goal is to be fixed so that I can become a productive member of society and pay the country back for any money they spend on fixing me!!!!

Such bs and hierocracy and just flat out insanity is hard to deal with.

I’m the one so jacked up that I was given a permanent, until the day I die, handicap sticker! She is just a fooking coke prostitute that will continually be destroying her body and mind and the mind of her 12 year old daughter because she is allowed to continue her rampage unhindered!

My father even called child protective services on her because she and her friends were doing coke and smoking crack in front of the child! She was basically their slave… getting them more to drink, cleaning up after them when they go on the heroin “nod”…

ok, this has gone one for two pages now so I think I should start wrapping it up…

i do feel a lot better now that I got it off my chest…

so, what frustrates you when if comes to your pain…