I need serious help!!! I have a 3 year old daughter who is having trouble taking "no" for an answer. If I say no to her, she gets so angry and starts to throw things and bangs her head against doors and the ground. I realize kids do these kinds of things to get the parent to give in and say yes. Situations like this for example cause a major issue with us. She wants to go to her cousins house and play and I tell her they aren't home, she gets really angry and starts screaming and throwing things at me and telling me they are home and that she wants to go now! I get so upset and stressed. The other night I told her she could only play with one box of play doh and she threw a huge fit and started the throwing and screaming at me and just a bigger scene than I could handle. I need suggestions from other sinlge parents about what to do?!!!! I cried for hours the other night after she went to sleep because I feel like she is becoming very mean and disrespectful and I don't want her to be that way. Help!!!!
Hi! I am a single mother myself! My daughter is now 5 years old but at 3, she was the same way your daughter is! When christina lashed out like that, I would put her in her room shut the door and let her kick and scream while I cleaned up or something. I would turn up the music really loud so that I didnt have to hear it, because it is heartbreaking. After about 2 weeks of punishment she learned that I wasnt going to cave and began throwing fits less often. If she came out of her room, I would tell her that if she didnt go back in there by the count of 3 she would go to her room and hour before bed and sit in the corner. So she usually went back to her room. Leave her in there until she is done throwing fits, then when she stops screaming, go in there tell her that you love her, but that her behavior is not at all acceptable and thats the punishment she will receive every time she throws fits! Good luck!
i so appreciate you replying! I will definitely try this! It is hard putting her in the room because for one, yes it is heart breaking and two she does try and just come out. I put her back and she comes right back out again! I give her so much attention and love and I just feel so lost right now. My cousin who has 2 children who acted the same way says she will outgrow it eventually. But in the meantime I am becoming so discouraged. Either way, I will absolutely give this a try and just keep putting her back in the room until she learns! Thanks a million! :d
Your welcome! Yeah it might take a while to get it through that she has to sit in there because christina didn't either and thats when her bedtime punishment started, and she hated to sit in the corner. She would have to sit on this little chair and stare at the wall and it was so much more boring for her than to kick and scream on the floor! Lol good luck with this and I hope she grows out of it really soon! Don't get discouraged! Your a good mother & father!! Not everyone women can be a single parent and do as good a job as you!
I am in the same situation and could also use some advise.
I have a 16 month old. Already at this age he is throwing tantrums. If I say no he throws himself on the ground and bangs his head too. What I have read to do in a situation like that is to just ignore them. They're lashing out to get attention, so don't give them any when they act like this.
But what i'm having a problem with is when I say no and pick him up to remove him from what ever he might be in to, he'll start hitting me. I don't want him turning in to a disrespectful kid. If you have any advise, please help.
i totally know what you are going through. My little girl does the same exact thing. If I pick her up to remove her from the situation or put her in the car if we are leaving somewhere and she doesn't want to. It is so embarrasing. People look at me like I have no control over my child.
It is a lot easier to let them cry and throw a fit at home, but when I am out in public or at a freind's house it is so much harder! I am here for advice and kelly gave me some that you too should read and try! Keep me updated if you find any other good ideas! Thanks....
I have 2 kids girl(15) who basically did as she was told & I thought well I have seen where I thought friends & family were getting it wrong, learnt & i'm doing it "right" then 6 & 1/2 years later I had my son & discovered how wrong I was (& still am - he's .
Nevertheless I do believe that being consistent is really important, kids need to know where they stand & why, don't just say "because I say so" explain, tell them why they can't do something, don't say you'll take them to the shops/park whatever & not do it, keep promises or say up front that you'll take them if the weather is fine, or if theybehave or whatever, let them know where they stand.
Next, if you say it do it, whatever it is, from a fast food meal to a punishment - stick to your guns. (i really like the advice about shutting the child in their room (take out all toys if need be) then turn on music loud!! & do something to occupy yourself till the screaming/throwing etc stops).
If they start doing all this when you're out, the best thing is to just pack them up screams & all & go home. I know it's awful when you're out & everyone stares & comments but the sooner you pack up & go the sooner you're out from public (or family) comment & you can just deal with what you have to deal with.
With the hitting, (now I do happen to think that within reason smacking is ok, but not always, each child/situation is different) & the head banging (which could cause long term damage depending what they hit & how often etc) i'd suggest something that's great if they try holding their breath - pour a glass of cold water over them - the shock makes them breathe & it may also shock themn out of the head banging/hitting. Another possible way to handle the hitting especially, is to sit the child down (at a time when they'er not doing this!!) & say if you hit me I will take "then name a favourite toy" off you for a day, if you hit me again you'll lose it for a week & so on. You may have to actually reach a poiint where you give it away or throw it out so choose a loved item but not an expensive one.
All this said & I still do it all & alot more but my son is a totally "wild thing" he runs off/takes off/goes out without permission no matter what I do & I think i've done it all, still any & all advice welcome (i have thought of getting a microchip put in - but I don't think they do it for kids just pets!! )
good luck to us all. I think a parents main role is to survive being a parent!!
Hey I wanted to say good luck for stick to your no's you tell her. It is embarassing walking through the mall when I was with my daughter and she say I want to see the puppies. I told her no we have to go, well she threw herself on the floor and said now now now. I can give you advice about this one.
1.You shouldnt care about when you are in the mall and she throws a fit and you correct her in front of everybody. If she think she can throw a fit in the mall and get away with it thats when you problem seriously begin.
2. About her banging her head and stuff like that, you should explain to her if it hurts dont do it. I pay no attention to my daughter when she does that stuff.
3. She is not to old for a spanking. I still spank my daughter. In the bible it says spare the rod, spoil the child. I would be giving spankings
Thanks purple and ne ne....
I have given her spankins and they do not even faze her anymore. It is starting to get scary! Lol!! I am going to try the bedroom trick and the taking away the favorite toy!
do consider the cold water too, that advice was given to a friend of mine who was having serious behaviour problems with her daughter by her a pedeatrician!! It really worked & can be used simply & easily in many situations. But is best used when they child is young when older they tend to think it's fun!!!!
although I did do it to my husband once when at the end of my tether & he was about 30 at the time(another story) & it worked like a dream!!
I don't mean to sound like a cheese face, but I am a fan of Dr. Phil. That guy knows kids! Don't play games. Everything in her world should come to a screaching halt when she does that. Like if you are in public, drop everything and go home. Even if you are at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries. You might have to do this a couple of times, and yes it is a pain in the ass but its better than a 10 year old with tantrums. She has to know this behavior is unacceptable and you mean business! I watch Dr. Phil everyday and my 5 year old son (former tantrum thrower) sees kids having tantrums on tv and says "that was me, right mom!" mind you, he has his days but we are much closer now than when he threw a fit everytime I said no. Try other ways of saying no too. Like, I know you want to go to so-and-so's now but we will go when they are home. If she has a fit, tell her that you won't go at all now. Don't explain a million times but say it once and put her in time out. Sorry this is so long, but I used to cry when he would go to sleep for the night cause I felt like we were wasting our days constantly fighting. Good luck!
I also have a 3 year old and he used to throw tantrums each time I didn't buy him what he wanted.... its rather embarrassing but what worked for me was each time he threw a tantrum at the shopping center i would ask him to stand up in a soft tone and ofcourse he'd continue so i would let him know that i would be leaving in 5 seconds if he wouldnt stop. Then i would walk off and wouldnt turn around to look at him. I would just hide in another close store and watch what he was going to do from there... after about 10 seconds they start getting worried and begin crying for you. Thats when u go back and tell them that if they dont listen to mummy and hold her hand this would happen. Hopefully this would work but as we all know every child is different. Good luck i feel ur pain
hi.. I was once in your shoes but then I learned about being firm but gentle. If we give in to our child's tantrums, they soon realize that it's easy to get what they want. We should set clear and specific rules with corresponding consequences if broken or not followed. Then we should not be lenient in reinforcing the rules and the punishments as well.