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Venting, Stand Clear!!!

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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559
Venting, Stand Clear!!!
Posted: 05-08-06 10:17am

Well I know a lot of you are gonna be like "whoa, hold up - wait a few years" but (as y'all know) since dil i've wanted a baby so bad...

I just need to love something that much again. Strange I know, but it's kind of like for me and for him and I don't know.. No-one needs to reply to this as it probably doesn't make .A.N.Y sense (maybe to dani as I have vented to her before)

just wanted peoples views on whether I should try for a baby. I know i'm young but I also know I am a good mother and I really want this.

Thanks, sorry, me.
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Lalee

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Joined: 26 Jan 2006
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Location: South Carolina

Posted: 05-08-06 10:36am

I think that no one can really say what's best. I can't even say what i'd want if I were in that situation. I will tell you that i've thought a lot about this pregnancy and how it was a surprise but that now that it's happening, I wouldn't want to change it at all... And I also think that if something were to happen (god forbid), I would for sure want to try again... Though I don't know at what point.

I guess that might not make a whole lot of sense, but what i'm trying to say is, if you think you are ready to try again, go for it. You're right, you probably are going to come across people saying you shouldn't be doing it, but you can't worry about them.
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 10:49am

Thank you :)
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Sunflower_pie81

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Posted: 05-08-06 10:51am

I think as long as you are physically, mentally, and financaly ready then go ahead. You are young but I think from hearing you talk about your baby and everything that had gone on I do think that as long as you as a person can handle it, then go for it.

I was told not to try to have any more babies after what happened with my first baby. I know you are a lot younger than I and our situations were very different. I am 24 years old and was 22 when my first baby passed away, and at that time I was told by many doctors not to try to have babies because I myself was really close to dying. But I am pregnant now at 27 weeks (yay for 3rd trimester) and I have had a perfect pregnancy (other than the morning sickness). I couldn't ask for a better pregnancy. And this time I have shown no signs of getting sick, and my baby couldn't be more healthy. Everything is totally opposite from my first pregnancy. (i was sick and so was my baby.)

there is a right time for everything, and if you believe that this is the time. And no one could tell you what to do in this case just make sure you are healed in all aspects of the word.
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 10:56am

Aww, thanks - that was really beautiful. I was told that dil's premature birth was on account of an accident (probably) I had which just put stress on me and him and caused him to be born early.

They are totally sure that there shouldn't be any long lasting health problems etc. :) congrats on the third trimester - getting near!
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Sunflower_pie81

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Posted: 05-08-06 11:10am

Hun, I am sorry for your loss. You are a strong girl. I would let your body heal and if you are ready go for it. I waited almost 2 years and got pregnant the same time I did with .Hunter. My due dates with .Hunter and .Amelia were the same to start with. The first day of my lmp were the same day. It's kinda weird.

But anyway, its ok to want another baby and to want to try again. You will do fine. Keep me informed.

Genipher
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hunterjumper

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Joined: 18 Dec 2005
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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Posted: 05-08-06 13:27pm

Only you can decide that hun. The only thing I would stress is making sure your body is healthier now then it was, because once you've had one premature labor...You're likely to have another and another. Can you talk to your doctor who handled your pregnancy and see what they say? About how long you should wait to make sure you're the healthiest possible for this pregnancy if you decide to do it?
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 13:35pm

I have been back to the hospital (obviously) for checkups etc. They said I was healing better than expecte and that it was really just fluke... Shouldn't happen again even though they wouldn't like to say for sure. For obvious reasons.

My doc wouldn't give me an answer as to when I could start trying again as she was too involved being all like "hmm - you're too young! Try again in a decade" but her registrar was really sweet - he was the one who delivered dil and looked after me (even though it wasn't his job to) in the nicu. He said about 3 cycles is the minimum you should really wait but if you had no genetic problems etc then two should be ok -

i think i'm going to not actually try, just not do anything to stop it and see what happens... Of course i'll keep ya'll informed - you are my saving graces!
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Sunflower_pie81

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Posted: 05-08-06 13:39pm

I was told to wait a full year to let my body heal. But then again I had a c-section. So that might be the difference.

Just becareful this time around, not that you wern't the first time. But take extra pre-cautions.
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HcoBrunette06

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Posted: 05-08-06 13:52pm

Good luck carrie I love you =)
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 13:55pm

Thanks guys, love you too .Terra!

I think .S.E.R.I.O.U.S paranoia will set in with the next kid... Pregnancy onwards, gonna have to try not being too overprotective. Ie, not allowed out until 40 years of age!
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Sunflower_pie81

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Posted: 05-08-06 14:09pm

Lol, the paranoia is something awful. I hate how paranoid I am sometimes. It's horrible. But since I have passed the 24 week mark that I lost my son it has eased off a bit.

But yes on wards and upwards. And I hope I dont' pull the can't go out until 40 bit. But I might. We shall see. I know her daddy will. Lol
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 14:11pm

Lol, yes - don't subject her to my meaness in the housebound section if you can help it.
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Sunflower_pie81

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Joined: 17 Jan 2006
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Location: to hell with this crap

Posted: 05-08-06 14:30pm

Lol i'll try, although I am sure it will be my husband that will need the restraint.
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-08-06 14:45pm

Lol - i'm sure too. Oh well, better to be overprotected than underprotected.
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DaliciaLynn

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Joined: 29 Jul 2005
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Location: Missouri

Posted: 05-08-06 23:24pm

You already know what I think soo...

Just do what makes ya happy!
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rasuyoung

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Posted: 05-09-06 00:57am

Hey, i'm very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine the pain you (and all the other ladies who've experienced the death of a newborn) have gone through. Your strength is really admirable.

I noticed that none of the other girls asked if you had any kind of therapy after dil's passing. Talking and venting to a professional who can offer advice and insight into your situation might be beneficial to you. Before you start trying to conceive again, you could look up a therapist in your area who deals with what you're going through, if you haven't already. You're young, but I don't think it's your age that has much to do with it, I think it's the possibility you aren't ready emotionally yet. Any woman, no matter her age, could be in the same boat if they went through what you did. Best of luck to you and whatever you decide to do.
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DylanJacob

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Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559

Posted: 05-09-06 01:49am

I went to the doctors and he gave me some councelling. Helped a bit, except the guy was weird. :(
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Nadine2006

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Joined: 15 Apr 2006
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Location: australia

Posted: 05-09-06 01:49am

I member you asking this a little bit back or was brought up!! I think if you know in yourself that you can do it and be able to get you back on track and start all over... I think it will do you great.. If you know your going to mentally strong about it I think its a wonderful idea... For you to even saying this now is very strong of you!! You been thru so much and for you want to try again is a great choice... Wish you all the best

<3 nadine
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rasuyoung

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Posted: 05-09-06 06:48am

Aww, i'm sorry. A woman might be better to see in your case. Something to consider.
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