My Partner Is Bi And Im Scared!!!! Posted: 05-08-06 09:11am
Im in need of some advice please... Im
24yrs old and ive been dating my partner
for 6yrs and we get on so well we want the
same things for the future, kids, house,
travelling. We talk all the time and we
are so in love. He is always giving me
affection from the day we met, he kisses
me all the time and the sex is just great.
Ive found my sole mate and my one and
only love of my life. He cleans and
treats me like a princess. Im the luckest
woman in the world. Recently he went out
had a quick kiss with one of our gay
friends and freaked out because the was so
drunk. He came home and told me the whole
thing and that he felt attraction towards
boys for a couple of weeks. We talked for
hours and im very open minded so I asked
if I totally satisfy him and that if he
loves me 100% and wants to spend this life
with me. He said yes to all of these
things and was crying cos he said thats
all he wants more than anythin in the
whole world! He said he doesnt want to
feel like freak but I told him its okay
aslong as he's happy with me and I satisfy
him and that he's faithful. Also he is
very down the past couple of months he is
so lonely cos he hasnt many friends in
town and says he feels lost. So he's gone
home to have some time on his own and sort
out his head. I am so scared of losing
the one person I want to spend the rest of
my life with. Is it possible for us to
have a normal relationship. Am I being
silly been so calm about him bisexual or
should I be worrying about if he is
checking out boys. My stomach feels sick.
I just want my partner to be happy and
for us to go back to our happy life. Can
he love me just the same if he's bi. Can
I satisfy him forever :(
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Posted: 05-08-06 10:44am
There is no need to be rude.... This
person is important to me.
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Posted: 05-08-06 12:46pm
Because he is bisexual or he thinks he is
and he is so upset about it cos he really
doesnt want to feel this way. I guess I
dont no how to feel about the whole thing.
Yea I wish things were simple :)
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 05-08-06 13:16pm
To me or should I say, in my opinion if he
is bisexual, he is bi-sexual, odds are you
cannot change this(just my opinion).
Have you thought about counseling,
possibly for both, possibly talking to
others that are bisexual. He may change,
who knows but I am not a dr or a
professional in this field and if I wanted
to spend the rest of my life with him,
that is what I would do as life holds no
guarantees. It is your choice and yours
alone. Maybe someone else that is
bisexual here can maybe give you some
better answers. I feel I would worry
more about what he was bringing home even
though straights can bring std's home just
as well. Hopefully with the time he will
have, he will be able to make up his mind.
Try not to set there and dwell on it go
out with friends, it might help you.
Good luck!
Keep us posted.
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Posted: 05-08-06 13:22pm
He never had sex he only had a quick kiss
and he said he doesnt want to be with men
but im so scared cos what if in years to
come that he decides that he prefers men.
Yea I really think I should go talk to
someone cos so upset all im doin is crying
and I dont know how to feel. He is my
whole world but im scared of losing him.
If I lost him I dont know what id do. Hes
my rock and im his.
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Posted: 05-08-06 16:50pm
Hey thanks you gave me a little
perspective. I guess of just scared of
the unknown. Thank you
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Bisexuals Posted: 05-09-06 15:10pm
Hey if there is any newly bisexuals out
there id appreciate the advice
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004 Posts: 250 Location: Washington, State
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Re: Bisexuals Posted: 05-09-06 15:48pm
Not to be gross, but if he is bisexual, he
likes it in the buttom right? Why don't
you buy butt plugs etc. Get a strap on,
whatever it takes to make him feel
comfortable.. I'm not sure what to say, I
have never been in this situation, and I
hope I never have to be, no offense to
you:( good luck!!!
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nightangel73
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Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2496 Location: ,
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Re: My Partner Is Bi And Im Scared!!!! Posted: 05-09-06 18:27pm
happychick
wrote:
also he is very down the
past couple of months he is so lonely cos
he hasnt many friends in town and says he
feels lost. So he's gone home to have
some time on his own and sort out his
head. I am so scared of losing the one
person I want to spend the rest of my life
with.
not to sound like a downer but if he is
going home to sort out his head prepare
for bad news hun.
If a bf tells me so I would inmediatly
break up. But that is just me cause I
don't want to marry a homosexual or
bisexual guy. If you can live with that
then that's your choice. Don't feel so
scared of loosing someone you think is the
one. It's not the end of the world. Been
through that many times and I have not
died. True love is not dependant. In
true love neither of the two shall be a
parasite of the other, that of thinking
i'm not going to survive without him/her
is parasitic love. But you mean good and
I commend you for handling the situation
the best you can, being open minded and
understanding. I think the guy is
confused and not really gay. But if he
keeps hanging out with gay friends I don't
know. I personally think homosexuality is
a learned behavior but you make your own
judgement.
I recomend you read the book "the road
less traveled" its love phsychology book
really good.
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships??? Posted: 05-28-06 06:58am
So ...... Im wondering if there is any
bi/straight girl/boy relationship. Well
what im really asking is there
relationships out there that are actually
working. Because im really scared that in
years to come he is goin to decide he is
gay or that he needs to experiment with
men....
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nightangel73
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Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2496 Location: ,
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Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships??? Posted: 06-03-06 11:44am
happychick
wrote:
so ...... Im wondering if
there is any bi/straight girl/boy
relationship. Well what im really asking
is there relationships out there that are
actually working. Because im really
scared that in years to come he is goin to
decide he is gay or that he needs to
experiment with
men....
follow your intuition. Trust me that your
gut feeling is correct.
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HAPPYCHICK
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2006 Posts: 9 Location: Ireland
Im Lost :( Posted: 06-03-06 17:35pm
So its now been a month later and although
we still chat he told me he needs more
time and is not asking me to wait for him
as it is not fair. He told me to get on
with my life and make myself happy. But
right now this is such a change in his
life that he needs to be on his own for a
good while and he doesnt know how
long....But....But this would be so much
easier if he said he didnt love me
but...He does, he tells me he still loves
me so much and hopes in the future we can
pick up were we left off cos he wants to
marry me and have my kids and he knows he
risks losing me by taking this time, but
he feels if he doesnt take this time he'l
end up killing himself and been miserable.
Oh and the guy he kissed on me he kissed
him again...
So what do I do, im completely heart
broken and I want to spend my life with
him and grow old with him and I dont think
im able to move on cos he's been part of
my life for 5years and he's just great and
il never find anyone like him or should I
say I just dont want anyone else. The
silly thing is, if he asked me to wait for
him I would. Completely heartbroken and
dont want to let him go... I wish he
didnt need to be on his own but he really
has to do this for his own happiness.
I feel completely lost
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weapons_and_magic
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 01-31-07 11:19am
I have to say, in the middle of my current
relationship, I came out to my girlfriend
that I was bisexual. She was
uncomfortable at first, for fear of losing
me to a guy. However, I still love her,
and although our relationship has been
rocky lately due to other matters (i'm not
even sure if it'll last right now), we had
a very healthy relationship, even with my
sexuality.
Our sex life was a little different than
most, but we were able to make it work.
Taking sammisa's advice is a good idea.
I've already told my girlfriend that I
love her, but some issues prevent that
love from continuing. Try to make it
work, and if it doesn't, then destiny has
something better in store for you. Even
if you talk about marriage, kids, a house,
growing old, none of that means it's going
to work. Although I have to say, it makes
it harder to feel like it's ok to end the
relationship.
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emilyw
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Washington
Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships??? Posted: 02-23-07 22:58pm
HAPPYCHICK
wrote:
So ...... Im wondering if
there is any bi/straight girl/boy
relationship. Well what im really asking
is there relationships out there that are
actually working. Because im really
scared that in years to come he is goin to
decide he is gay or that he needs to
experiment with
men....
I am bi and married to a wonderfull man! I
can tell you that being bisexual, at least
for me didn't not make me want to be with
a woman over my husband. My marriage is
going vary well and we are now trying for
a baby. So it is vary possiable for your
relationship to work out. What he is
really going to need from you now is
support. It is hard being bi esspacaily
when you are first coming out. I was so
worried cuz I didn't know what my
sexuality was, how I felt or where to go
for support. And I had a gay mom and lots
of gay/bi friends. You can never be too
suportive. Than again he maybe totally
straight. Sometime people just want to
know what it is like to kiss someone of
the same gender or whatever and are
totally straight. If you have any other
concerns about this feel free to talk to
me. Not only am I bi and have a lot of
gay/bi/transgender friends. I study human
sexuilty in college...it is the only thing
I found interesting in college. So please
pm if you need too.
Good luck,
Emily
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Tylanas
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Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships??? Posted: 04-26-07 23:00pm
HAPPYCHICK
wrote:
So ...... Im wondering if
there is any bi/straight girl/boy
relationship. Well what im really asking
is there relationships out there that are
actually working. Because im really
scared that in years to come he is goin to
decide he is gay or that he needs to
experiment with
men....
I am engaged to a bi man, and I absolutly
love him and trust him. He's with me,
period. I know he will never cheat; he's
just not that type of person. It's a real
relationship, built on trust and love. If
you and your boyfriend trust and love each
other, who cares if he googles at guys
with you? Technically, neither of you
should be googling guys or girls!!
Him being bi is no different to me as him
being straight. You run the same risks as
anyone else in reference to cheating; bi
guys or girls don't cheat more than
straight guys or girls.
Another one of my friends also recently
reconciled herself and admittd she was bi.
Many people, like her and your boyfriend,
have been having these feelings for a long
time and never realised them. it's totally
normal.
Maybe your boyfriend will decide he needs
some time by himself but this doesn't mean
you two can't ever end up together. My
parents broke up dozens of times before
they finally got married, and they dated
other people in between dating each other.
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Ichigos_Passion
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Mar 2008 Posts: 16 Location: Blaine, MN U.S
Posted: 03-14-08 18:31pm
Just trust him. There's nothing wrong with
being fine that he's bisexual, especially
if you know if he is or not. He told you
about the kiss, so you should have
complete faith that he'll tell you if he
starts checking others out.
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homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3236 Location: , USA
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Posted: 03-17-08 11:49am
Ichigos_Passion
wrote:
Just trust him. There's
nothing wrong with being fine that he's
bisexual, especially if you know if he is
or not. He told you about the kiss, so you
should have complete faith that he'll tell
you if he starts checking others
out.
