GLBT Relationships Forum - My Partner Is Bi And Im Scared!!!!

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Q: My Partner Is Bi And Im Scared!!!!

asked by: HAPPYCHICK on May 8th, 2006

New User

Im in need of some advice please... Im 24yrs old and ive been dating my partner for 6yrs and we get on so well we want the same things for the future, kids, house, travelling. We talk all the time and we are so in love. He is always giving me affection from the day we met, he kisses me all the time and the sex is just great. Ive found my sole mate and my one and only love of my life. He cleans and treats me like a princess. Im the luckest woman in the world. Recently he went out had a quick kiss with one of our gay friends and freaked out because the was so drunk. He came home and told me the whole thing and that he felt attraction towards boys for a couple of weeks. We talked for hours and im very open minded so I asked if I totally satisfy him and that if he loves me 100% and wants to spend this life with me. He said yes to all of these things and was crying cos he said thats all he wants more than anythin in the whole world! He said he doesnt want to feel like freak but I told him its okay aslong as he's happy with me and I satisfy him and that he's faithful. Also he is very down the past couple of months he is so lonely cos he hasnt many friends in town and says he feels lost. So he's gone home to have some time on his own and sort out his head. I am so scared of losing the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is it possible for us to have a normal relationship. Am I being silly been so calm about him bisexual or should I be worrying about if he is checking out boys. My stomach feels sick. I just want my partner to be happy and for us to go back to our happy life. Can he love me just the same if he's bi. Can I satisfy him forever :(

Replies(16)

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 8th, 2006

New User

There is no need to be rude.... This person is important to me.

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 8th, 2006

New User

Because he is bisexual or he thinks he is and he is so upset about it cos he really doesnt want to feel this way. I guess I dont no how to feel about the whole thing. Yea I wish things were simple :)

sandyallen

replied on May 8th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

To me or should I say, in my opinion if he is bisexual, he is bi-sexual, odds are you cannot change this(just my opinion). Have you thought about counseling, possibly for both, possibly talking to others that are bisexual. He may change, who knows but I am not a dr or a professional in this field and if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, that is what I would do as life holds no guarantees. It is your choice and yours alone. Maybe someone else that is bisexual here can maybe give you some better answers. I feel I would worry more about what he was bringing home even though straights can bring std's home just as well. Hopefully with the time he will have, he will be able to make up his mind. Try not to set there and dwell on it go out with friends, it might help you.
Good luck!
Keep us posted.

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 8th, 2006

New User

He never had sex he only had a quick kiss and he said he doesnt want to be with men but im so scared cos what if in years to come that he decides that he prefers men. Yea I really think I should go talk to someone cos so upset all im doin is crying and I dont know how to feel. He is my whole world but im scared of losing him. If I lost him I dont know what id do. Hes my rock and im his.

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 8th, 2006

New User

Hey thanks you gave me a little perspective. I guess of just scared of the unknown. Thank you

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 9th, 2006

New User

Bisexuals

Hey if there is any newly bisexuals out there id appreciate the advice

sammisa

replied on May 9th, 2006

Experienced User

Re: Bisexuals

Not to be gross, but if he is bisexual, he likes it in the buttom right? Why don't you buy butt plugs etc. Get a strap on, whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable.. I'm not sure what to say, I have never been in this situation, and I hope I never have to be, no offense to you:( good luck!!!

nightangel73

replied on May 9th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Re: My Partner Is Bi And Im Scared!!!!

happychick wrote:

also he is very down the past couple of months he is so lonely cos he hasnt many friends in town and says he feels lost. So he's gone home to have some time on his own and sort out his head. I am so scared of losing the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

not to sound like a downer but if he is going home to sort out his head prepare for bad news hun.

If a bf tells me so I would inmediatly break up. But that is just me cause I don't want to marry a homosexual or bisexual guy. If you can live with that then that's your choice. Don't feel so scared of loosing someone you think is the one. It's not the end of the world. Been through that many times and I have not died. True love is not dependant. In true love neither of the two shall be a parasite of the other, that of thinking i'm not going to survive without him/her is parasitic love. But you mean good and I commend you for handling the situation the best you can, being open minded and understanding. I think the guy is confused and not really gay. But if he keeps hanging out with gay friends I don't know. I personally think homosexuality is a learned behavior but you make your own judgement.

I recomend you read the book "the road less traveled" its love phsychology book really good.

HAPPYCHICK

replied on May 28th, 2006

New User

Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships???

So ...... Im wondering if there is any bi/straight girl/boy relationship. Well what im really asking is there relationships out there that are actually working. Because im really scared that in years to come he is goin to decide he is gay or that he needs to experiment with men....

nightangel73

replied on June 3rd, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships???

happychick wrote:

so ...... Im wondering if there is any bi/straight girl/boy relationship. Well what im really asking is there relationships out there that are actually working. Because im really scared that in years to come he is goin to decide he is gay or that he needs to experiment with men....

follow your intuition. Trust me that your gut feeling is correct.

HAPPYCHICK

replied on June 3rd, 2006

New User

Im Lost :(

So its now been a month later and although we still chat he told me he needs more time and is not asking me to wait for him as it is not fair. He told me to get on with my life and make myself happy. But right now this is such a change in his life that he needs to be on his own for a good while and he doesnt know how long....But....But this would be so much easier if he said he didnt love me but...He does, he tells me he still loves me so much and hopes in the future we can pick up were we left off cos he wants to marry me and have my kids and he knows he risks losing me by taking this time, but he feels if he doesnt take this time he'l end up killing himself and been miserable. Oh and the guy he kissed on me he kissed him again...

So what do I do, im completely heart broken and I want to spend my life with him and grow old with him and I dont think im able to move on cos he's been part of my life for 5years and he's just great and il never find anyone like him or should I say I just dont want anyone else. The silly thing is, if he asked me to wait for him I would. Completely heartbroken and dont want to let him go... I wish he didnt need to be on his own but he really has to do this for his own happiness.

I feel completely lost

weapons_and_magic

replied on January 31st, 2007

New User

I have to say, in the middle of my current relationship, I came out to my girlfriend that I was bisexual. She was uncomfortable at first, for fear of losing me to a guy. However, I still love her, and although our relationship has been rocky lately due to other matters (i'm not even sure if it'll last right now), we had a very healthy relationship, even with my sexuality.
Our sex life was a little different than most, but we were able to make it work. Taking sammisa's advice is a good idea. I've already told my girlfriend that I love her, but some issues prevent that love from continuing. Try to make it work, and if it doesn't, then destiny has something better in store for you. Even if you talk about marriage, kids, a house, growing old, none of that means it's going to work. Although I have to say, it makes it harder to feel like it's ok to end the relationship.

emilyw

replied on February 23rd, 2007

New User

Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships???

HAPPYCHICK wrote:

I am bi and married to a wonderfull man! I can tell you that being bisexual, at least for me didn't not make me want to be with a woman over my husband. My marriage is going vary well and we are now trying for a baby. So it is vary possiable for your relationship to work out. What he is really going to need from you now is support. It is hard being bi esspacaily when you are first coming out. I was so worried cuz I didn't know what my sexuality was, how I felt or where to go for support. And I had a gay mom and lots of gay/bi friends. You can never be too suportive. Than again he maybe totally straight. Sometime people just want to know what it is like to kiss someone of the same gender or whatever and are totally straight. If you have any other concerns about this feel free to talk to me. Not only am I bi and have a lot of gay/bi/transgender friends. I study human sexuilty in college...it is the only thing I found interesting in college. So please pm if you need too.
Good luck,
Emily

Tylanas

replied on April 26th, 2007

Especially eHealthy

Re: Boyfriend Is Bi- Any Bi/straight Relationships???

HAPPYCHICK wrote:

I am engaged to a bi man, and I absolutly love him and trust him. He's with me, period. I know he will never cheat; he's just not that type of person. It's a real relationship, built on trust and love. If you and your boyfriend trust and love each other, who cares if he googles at guys with you? Technically, neither of you should be googling guys or girls!!

Him being bi is no different to me as him being straight. You run the same risks as anyone else in reference to cheating; bi guys or girls don't cheat more than straight guys or girls.

Another one of my friends also recently reconciled herself and admittd she was bi. Many people, like her and your boyfriend, have been having these feelings for a long time and never realised them. it's totally normal.

Maybe your boyfriend will decide he needs some time by himself but this doesn't mean you two can't ever end up together. My parents broke up dozens of times before they finally got married, and they dated other people in between dating each other.

Ichigos_Passion

replied on March 14th, 2008

New User

Just trust him. There's nothing wrong with being fine that he's bisexual, especially if you know if he is or not. He told you about the kiss, so you should have complete faith that he'll tell you if he starts checking others out.

homerx

replied on March 17th, 2008

Moderator

Ichigos_Passion wrote:

good advise..

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