Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Yesterday I Turned 28 And Still Broken Hearted

I am here to write how I feel. I found this forum thru yahoo and just seeing if anyone here has a similar situation as me and how do you deal with it. Anyways yesterday I turned 28 and whats so heart broken of this is I never had a gf yet. Still today I never kissed a girl, never had a relationship, never held a girls hand. At this age I am starting to get very very worried now. I feel like I missed out on an important part of my life.

Why can't I get a gf? I really wish I knew..I always wanted to have a gf and have a relationship. I always wanted a girl whos outgoing, enjoys working out, sports and having fun. Its really heart breaking and lonely sometimes. It always been hard for me to get girls. I have never been to a hs dance or prom. I never been approaced by any girls during turnabout or anywhere. Girls never can look me into the eye if I look at them. They turn their head or they just don't look at me. I been out with a few but nothing serious at all. After going out with a few, they just lost interest in me, I call them I leave a message and never call me back. I also been ditched and hanged up on.

I just don't get why girls don't find me attractive at all or give me a chance. I think its my height and somewhat my appearance & my voice, I am only 5'4, I weigh 130lbs..My appearance is about average, on a scale of 1 to 10, I am about a 5. I have read many many profiles and the type of guy a girl wants is always within 5'9 and up. Many profiles says I want a man whos taller than me. Girls never want to get to know me or go out with me. I ve asked many and always theres an excuse or just no. I ask out average to some attractive girls, the ones I find attraction to.

I am an outgoing fun person, I always dress neatly, I am no messy person, I am in good shape, I workout all the time, I do play ice hockey and other sports. I can run the mile under 5 mins. I take good care of myself. I am not a big bar or club person at all. I can't stand the smoke.. I do drink but rarely, . I ve heard success stories of online dating. Ive tried several dating websites from cupid, match, plentyoffish, myspace, matchdoctor, eharmony, hotornot and no luck at all. Since I have been on of all of those dating websites my profiles has been viewed more than 1000 times and I have never gotten an email from one girl yet. Its so hard to believe of all of those girls who viewed my profile, I would think at least one girl would be interested and wanting to get to know me. I am the one who sends all of the emails to them.

I don't understand why I can't get a gf? They all say its easy to get a gf..Its not easy at all!! I have heard people say "don't look for them they will come to you". I don't buy that at all.. Ive been waiting for many many many years and nothing..Being 28 and never having a gf is really really hard to deal with..Everyday I think about it and its so dam hard not to think of it..Its also hard when you hear co-workers talking about their gf, dating etc, also going out seeing guys with their gf having a good time, laughing and enjoying each other..When I see a guy with a girl I sometimes wish I could be in his shoes just for a few minutes seeing what its like to have a girl by your side.

Whats wrong with me?? I don't really know what else to do. Its so hard to think I am already 28 and never had gf. Thats why I always go running or play hockey just to try to get my mind off of it but everyday its still stuck in me. I sometimes wonder and think if I will ever get a gf? The biggest question is when will I have my first kiss? Many guys have their first kiss in their early teens and me being 28 makes me feel so bad. Sometimes it seems like that I might not get a gf at all..Time flys by so dam fast and its hard to believe that I am already 28 and almost 30 yrs old and still no gf..I am probably the oldest guy here in the forum who never had a gf or kissed a girl yet. If theres anyone here like me (which I doubt it) with this similar situation, how do you deal with it? Have you been successfull?
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replied May 7th, 2006
Experienced User
I can't speak for other women, but although physical attraction may open the door, it doesn't keep it open. And beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder......Chocolate brown eyes, black wavy hair, the way he moved with effortless power, a sneering expression......That's what caught my eye. What kept me there....He is philosophical, deeply analytical and profound.......A diamond in the rough.........He's got that extra something, a sparkle a shine.

No offense to all the beautiful people out there but many times that's all they are. And they rely on it too much and use it as a crutch.

What can you do?
-go where the girls are...Preferable a place where you can actually sit down and have the time to get to know them(and they you). Can't start any "deep" conversations at the bus stop or while in line.
-it's a fine line but 1. Don't just talk about you 2. Show interest in her but don't become the "question man".
-telling people you, "dress neatly" isn't exactly a turn on.
-ask people who know you to give you a honest answer about what their first impressions of you were, you may be very surprised at the answer. And pay attention to the answer cause this is what your presenting to the rest of the world.
-if you have a nerd edge to you, clean it up a little.
-take a course in self confidence, something that'll help out not only in personal relationships but professional as well. :)
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replied May 8th, 2006
Hey iwishiknew, wow dude, I feel exactly the way you do.
I tell you one thing, its our height man, short guys have it so tough, do a google search and you will find an article/statistics about how short guys lose out on love, jobs, happiness, being short is not like being fat, were not recognised, take fat people for example, you see it talked on tv every day, on every channel because it effects alot of people- it is recognised-
being short is not, there just isint many of us and were just literally overlooked, ignored by society...By girls
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replied May 20th, 2006
thriller81 wrote:
hey iwishiknew, wow dude, I feel exactly the way you do.

I tell you one thing, its our height man, short guys have it so tough, do a google search and you will find an article/statistics about how short guys lose out on love, jobs, happiness, being short is not like being fat, were not recognised, take fat people for example, you see it talked on tv every day, on every channel because it effects alot of people- it is recognised-
being short is not, there just isint many of us and were just literally overlooked, ignored by society...By girls


yes you are correct! Yes being short has never been easy for me to get girls nothing but turndowns and rejection ..I read many many profiles online that many girls perfer a guy thats 5'9 and up..I was wondering do you have a gf?
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replied October 15th, 2006
Hey man, I feel the same way you do. I am 19 and I still have never had a relationship with a girl. I dont have any real friends that are girls, never dated, never had a first kiss. You guys who think that all tall people get girls. That is completely bogus. I am 6'3" and I cant find anyone. I know alot of it has to do with my low self esteem and bad confidence, but nothing helps. I hope you find that one person for you to be happy because I am still looking.
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replied October 15th, 2006
nick19 wrote:
hey man, I feel the same way you do. I am 19 and I still have never had a relationship with a girl. I dont have any real friends that are girls, never dated, never had a first kiss. You guys who think that all tall people get girls. That is completely bogus. I am 6'3" and I cant find anyone. I know alot of it has to do with my low self esteem and bad confidence, but nothing helps. I hope you find that one person for you to be happy because I am still looking.



you are still young compared to me whos 28 years old and still today I haven't had a gf or my first kiss yet. Being 28 never kissing a girl, just makes me feel sad sometimes..For you being tall I think you have better chances scoring with a girl..Just go to any dating websites and majority of the females looking for relationships wants a guy whos taller than them..And height of 5'8 and up..I know..I have seen it many many times.
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replied November 26th, 2006
Experienced User
Hey Men...
From a girl's point of view, and maybe it's just me, but looks (height, weight, etc.) are not everything in a relationship or even when you're on a date with someone. To me, I think it is much more difficult for a girl who considers herself unattractive to find a man. I'm not saying all men are shallow, but unfortunately a lot of them are. I know a few guys who are even shorter then me (i'm 5' 3") and they have girlfriends and even families. If you think your height is a bad thing, unfortunately many other people will see it as a bad thing as well.
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replied December 24th, 2008
hey...
just reading this makes me cry.... you don't deserve to feel this bad...

(hug)

i'm sorry dear... i have no idea why no girls seem to like you more... i guess i wish i knew as well.

why do you not like your voice and your looks?
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