i'm three weeks pregnant and am planning to have an abortion at 7 weeks. Would have it now but am doing university exams as is the father and have to wait until they are over.
Have been with father for almost 3 yrs on and off and are off at the moment, I got pregnant the day we decided the rel wasnt working anymore! I told him about pregnancy today and together we have decided to have an abortion.
Has anybody had one? I have no doubt about my decision but would like to hear from somebody who has gone through it so I have an idea what to expect.
Also have the added pressure of living in acountry where abortion is illegal so have to travel abroad to have it done. Luckily the father is in college in the country I am travelling to so will have the support but the available time I have to have abortion and travel home is limited - will this be a huge problem??
There is a chance that abortion by pill may fail, if I wa stravelling I would most certianly have a surgical abortion because you know it is done now.
I have had 1 medical and 2 surgical, I wholeheartedly reccommend surgical, it can be painless thanks to good drugs and is over right away.
With the fact that you must travel I would say surgical in all honesty, and with medical you must go back for a 2 week check up to make sure all the tissue is gone. With a surgical you could go to your regular doctor and have him or her check you out.
When I travel I will be less than 7 weeks and all the info I have recieved has been that medical is better than surgical this early. Also cost is a factor, it is alot more expensive to get surgical and I already have to borrow the money to travel and pay for the abortion.
Do what you have to do, but with a medical you will have to have an ultrasound after to make sure the abortion is done..About 2 weeks later you need a check-up. If there is tissue left you will need a surgical abortion anyways.
I am just letting you know the risks, especially with the fact that you are travelling.
Do you have a regular doctor who can check you out afterwards??
Living in ireland and travelling to england. Will be there a total of 10 days including a few days to chill out before and after.
The father is my best friend who I have had a serious relationship in the past but we are just friends now.
He's fully behind me on this which is great and I am staying in his house for most of the time there, my other friend is putting me up in hotel for first two nights and is taking me out and about to enjoy the sites. Try to relax me.
I dont mind the bleeding but am terrified of the surgical method.
Ireland.. Oh.. Yeah I do know that it is pretty much illegal no matter what too huh.. I am sorry you must travel so far to get a procedure, it does'nt seem fair to me at all.
It is very good that you are staying for a few days after, that way you will be close to the clinc. It iss o good that you have people who support you!
Yeah, if I have one thing it's great friends! I'm so so lucky! They are paying for the whole thing, flights, procedure and spending money so I can treat myself. They are all meeting me at the airport when I get back to look after me.
I'm alot more positive about it today after seeing some of them and knowing they are there 100%.
Thanks so much for talking to me, know nobody who's ever had an experience wiht this so it's good to have found this site.
Okay, this may make me seem a bit stupid but I have a question.
The way I have seen on websites to work out how many weeks into the pregnancy says to take it from either the first day of your last period or from ovulation etc.. Which would shorten term by 2 weeks but gives same due date etc...
When I rang clinic for appointment they asked about my last period, I didnt know the exact date but roughly end or march which would make me 5/6 weeks pregnant according to above... Now I know I am only three weeks pregnant because there is only one day that I could have become pregnant.
They will do a scan wont they? I dont want them thinking i'm further along than I am as that will affect treatment and cost etc...
are you going to a marie stopes hospital, or british pregnancy advisory? (bpas)....
All clinics I know of do do a scan because they have to know exactly how far along you are.
The reason I asked which clinic you are going to is because I have heard that b.P.A.S. Has a special considerations for women coming over from ireland... I think marie stopes also has some kind special considerations as well..It was just a thought...
I'm going to bpas. I looked into marie stopes but the bpas clinic is easier to get to from where I am staying and marie stopes has a policy only to give surgical procedures to irish women.
I just found bpas to be nicer all round but thats just me. The college nurse said they usually recommend marie stopes cos you can fly in and out in quicker but seen as I have 10 days to spend over there i'm going with bpas. Think me and the father need to spend some time together before and after to sort things out. And I feel I need to be close to him then seen as he's not here now and we can only talk on-line. Wish he was here even just to hug me or something. Girls are doing what they can for me but deep down think only he can make me feel better.
I'm starting to get morning sickness I think. Gone off dairy foods and nauseus all day today. Could be stress either. Very very tired too, all the time. Maybe it's all in my head. Just want to get it over and done with.
The reason they only give surgicals is because the pill fails more often than surgical abortion does, and if you do not abort a pregnancy after you use the pill it could cause severe birth defects..Or a nasty infection from retained tissue.
I had an medicated abortion at 9 weeks, and it hurt like hell. Now have to deal at the back of my mind that im a murderer, so make sure you properly think about this dont panic and take th easy way old. This isnt old school britain anymore where you need the father. There alot of single parensta that get on just fine, my mum was a single mother. And she had me when she was 16, and never regretted as we r best friends too. Well anyway when I had the abortion it hurt like hell, no pain I have ever imagined before, its not like a heavy perioe its much worse in my eyes, and uncontrollable feelin, and meds dont make go away, not to mention the pain and long period that remains afterwards. After u go through and abortion it deff makes u a stronger person. And trust u will b able to handle any pain, if u do decide thats the best thing, then get it done asap. Dont leave it late cause the longer u leave it the more its hurts. They told me that cause 9 weeks was the deadline and I never imagined that it wud hurt so much. Plus I thought bpas was crap, I mean the talking side of things, when I first went there they said I had no choice and had to get rid of it.And if the dad didnt want it I have no right to keep it. And that aint good advice. Well good luck.
i know it is possible to be a single parent but thats not what I want. I 'need' the father involved in this because we have been best friends for years and have had a very serious relationship with eachother for nearly three years. He supports me in every decision I make in my life not just this one. I made the decision to have the abortion knowing the facts 100% and have thought very long and hard about since I found out I was pregnant. If I had decided to continue witht he pregnancy he would have supported me in that too.
I have talked to bpas loads over the phone as there is alot to arrange because I have to travel and only have 10 days in which I can travel between finishing exams and starting work. I will have to abortion when I am 9 weeks and have changed to having surgical suction as it is quicker and I will be borderline on the medical one anyway. I found them to be great and have made every effort to arrange things around my timing and situation.
Well im glad that you have someone there for you all the way and he happens to be baby daddy. Well I hope you make the right choice for you and your babies future. And good luck I hope things go well. Its nice to have someone there for you at this time of need, and u said he was ur best friend too.Nice.
Oh and by the way that was my opinion on bpas carifairy, I dnt no if u wrk for them or something, but their advice to me was shoddy, maybe cause it was the one I went to.And where I come from, everythings shoddy the hospital, buses everything...But other than that they were professional.The end. Good luck again lostlady. Keep us posted. X
Hi, I am 38 and had a medical abortion at 7 weeks. I am married & my hubby & I have 2 other children, 17 & 13, so we thought we were too old to start again...well he did, I wasn't so sure. I went for a medical abortion as it didn't seen so bad..if you know what I mean, it's a pill, it happens more naturally. the only thing is...well with me any way, I felt i rushed into a decision, because you have to be 7 weeks or less. I panicked really & now I do regret it. maybe it was for the best as my hubby really did not want another child, he's now had a vasectomy. As for the procedure it is painful, distressing and I'm now on anti depressants. my baby would have been due in a few weeks & I think about what I have done every day & every night. I wish I could turn back the clock & be stronger & do what was right for me, not what was right for everyone else. I am not against abortion & if it;s right for you & you are sure then that's fine. Just be sure, you have to think about all your options, go & talk to a councillor & talk to people that you can trust. I wish you luck xxxx DEBS