Hi chaps,i`m paul,and i`m 36,live in manchester,uk..I`ve just discovered this site and i`m phisically crying because of reading all the other folks experiences and symptoms,i thought i`ve been alone all this time..
I`ve suffered with panic attacks and depression since I was about 13,my doctor has diagnosed me of cronic anxiety and panic disorder,like some of you guys,i have the rapid heart race,rapid pulse,head thumps,chest thumps,agrophobia,night blindness,hypocondriact symptoms,tight throat,memory loss,stange morbid thoughts,i have been out plenty of times and had a panick attack,i can tell you that its the worste feelin ever..I also have asthma..Its a total nightmare !!
Mine started when I was 13,i grew up mostly alone,my parents used to fight alot,and my mother died when I was 4,and my father,although "did a great job" just ran his own life,and regreted my mothers death...Anyway,i went a bit off the rails and got into drink,canabis,tablets and booze,glue,gas you name it..Anyway,one night I collapsed,and when I came round,that was it,from that moment on,all my life just turned around,all the fun and smiles,interests,wants needs disires ect had gone forever,panic attacks and depression kicked in..I kept on with the boozing,then at 18 I overdosed and became homeless..I tried to get a job but just could`nt handle it,so I just luived off my dad until september 2004 when he died of lung cancer..So from the age of 13 til now my life`s just been a scramble of panic attacks and depression,agrophobia..
I know i`m never going to be normal,i know that for a fact,the medication i`ve had include citropram,paroxatine,diazapam allsorts of tranquilizers..They just seemed send me weird in the head..
Anyway,just to get the point,your not alone !!
I`m here suffering with you !!