Hi chaps,i`m paul,and i`m 36,live in
manchester,uk..I`ve just discovered this
site and i`m phisically crying because of
reading all the other folks experiences
and symptoms,i thought i`ve been alone all
this time..
I`ve suffered with panic attacks and
depression since I was about 13,my doctor
has diagnosed me of cronic anxiety and
panic disorder,like some of you guys,i
have the rapid heart race,rapid pulse,head
thumps,chest thumps,agrophobia,night
blindness,hypocondriact symptoms,tight
throat,memory loss,stange morbid
thoughts,i have been out plenty of times
and had a panick attack,i can tell you
that its the worste feelin ever..I also
have asthma..Its a total nightmare !!
Mine started when I was 13,i grew up
mostly alone,my parents used to fight
alot,and my mother died when I was 4,and
my father,although "did a great job" just
ran his own life,and regreted my mothers
death...Anyway,i went a bit off the rails
and got into drink,canabis,tablets and
booze,glue,gas you name it..Anyway,one
night I collapsed,and when I came
round,that was it,from that moment on,all
my life just turned around,all the fun and
smiles,interests,wants needs disires ect
had gone forever,panic attacks and
depression kicked in..I kept on with the
boozing,then at 18 I overdosed and became
homeless..I tried to get a job but just
could`nt handle it,so I just luived off my
dad until september 2004 when he died of
lung cancer..So from the age of 13 til now
my life`s just been a scramble of panic
attacks and depression,agrophobia..
I know i`m never going to be normal,i know
that for a fact,the medication i`ve had
include citropram,paroxatine,diazapam
allsorts of tranquilizers..They just
seemed send me weird in the head..
Anyway,just to get the point,your not
alone !!
I`m here suffering with you !!
