Medical Questions > Mental Health > Schizophrenia Forum

Half Schitzofrenic Half Just Plane Weird.

Must Read
Schizophrenia is a lifelong brain disorder. But how do doctors define it? And is there a cure?...
What causes schizophrenia? And what are the risks of developing this treatable mental illness?...
The first signs of schizophrenia may be difficult to identify. Learn the most common signs and symptoms of schizophrenia and know when to ask for medical help....
Heres my story which lead me into a deap thinking process to where I am and where im going in life.

I always wanted to smoke weed, I thought it was cool, chicks looked up pot heads I could walk around like a derro not giving a but things turned ugly.

I was 15 when I started and I got into it for the wrong reasons, basically because I wanted to be someone I wasnt. I knew that at the time but as I progressed I met some guys who I thought were like me, I started smoking weed more and more as I didnt see anything wrong with it and then after about a year all these wierd things started happening. It was like I was being copied but in a way to tell me something but I didnt know what. I was a follower no doubt, I needed my friends, whenever I was in fights, breaking into cars, getting drunk at partys my friends were there to back me up. Then later I started thinking who am i, people are becoming more like me and its getting freaky because I have nothing left to benefit myself from others. The problem started here... I was very stoned and people would say things that made me think twice, then I thought someone was with my thought patterns, its like whatever I said wasnt good enough and I was ridiculed but in a way to kill my self esteem, it was like a cloud rising over me until I couldnt do anything but listen to what people had to say. It got so intense one session that I blacked out, apparently my face had turned blue, but after waking up I felt much more relaxed as if my stress levels had just disolved, I didnt care as much about what other people thought of me. Another session we walked up to these group of people and I heard them talking but in a wierd way, something I couldnt explain, I thought I was a retard or different or wierd, I was tripping out went for a walk and this incredibaly loud ringing noise overwhelmed my senses and I almost blacked out again. The thing is I could only understand people when I was stoned, when I was straight it was just normal life until I started investigating the difference between when I was stoned and when I was straight. Then when I would question my mates about these things I was labeled gay, so its like against the rules of society to talk about this 'thing' so I covered it up trying to learn what I can do and cant now all these rules run my fkng life.

I stopped the weed after that it got too freaky and after ditching my family for almost 5 years I returned back to them and had no motivation, no social skills, didnt know if people were talking to me or about me. I was put on anti depressant medication but that doesnt seem to be the problem although I was depressed. Now I seem fine but its like ive memorised a method to speak to myself and to other people and the only time I can feel what I say is when im so frustrated without being able to connect with my heart because it feels like theres plastic wrapped around a steal ballbearing and I cant get any deaper within myself.

My understanding of the issue is that I was on a different level of consciousness when I was high and could understand the world through a more patient level. And today ive returned back to my normal level but have a long mission to get back to the level I was when I was stoned. Its like ive seen the future and am trapped between two universes. It is a nightmare I swear. Ive been to phsycologist, general gp, hypnotherapist they say im just feeling what its like to come off weed but I dont think thats the truth. I think it will just take time but im unsure but I cant seem to get to the root of my thoughts although when I goto bed and just not think about anything its like other peoples voices start talking and takeover my thoughts, its like a consistant flow of freedom without any force from myself.

Has anybody got any answers?
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied June 16th, 2006
Its quite freaky how similar the first half of your story is to mine. I got into weed to be cool, exploring it more as I realised that it had potential to alter the way I looked at things.
You sound like somebody who is seeking the answers to all the questions you had flooding your head back then?
My suggestion would be to try meditation and yogic breathing. By releasing the tention and stress within your body, and harmonizing your bodies vibration with those of the earth, you will find that your vision can actually slowly become clear again. This is generally called cleansing the chakras.
There is no easy way my friend, and I speak only from personal experience,
hope this helps,
(=^_^=)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 22nd, 2006
420
Damn dude that whole story sounds like what I couldnt say.. Its all like what I went thru.. The friend thing and the things to say would be gay thing is !**@! gay not gay.. Its !**@! gay and I hate it.. I dealt with the same issues I think.. Damn the unspeakable things that run our !**@! life.. I looked up a crazy girl on the internet and now I have someone to talk to about that kind of crazy !**@! that runs my life now.. Crazy girls are cool.. I also quit smoking weed cause it made me do weird things with my attention and focus and everything.. I just stoped. I didnt get the feeling or sense that people were copying me till after I started schitzo medication tho.. Now it feels like I am copying people and I hate it even more. And I hate the feeling of people !**@! with my thought patterns.. Alrjljdlf my answers is do not take medication cause it makes you weirder.. Pretty much .. O and time heals things
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied August 22nd, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I am not here to judge anyone. I tried smpoking pot years ago but all it made me do was gave me the munchies and made me laugh more. However I understand that the weed nowadays is cut with some pretty nasty stuff. I agree with the 1st poster, have you tried meditation and breathing exercises? You say you are in couseling, I hope that is helping, along with your medication.
It is time to leave the past behind you and start again. We are here for you but you have to promise tou you and all that you will go forward, not backwards eventhough it may be difficult at times, have a little faith in yourself, you can do it! Think of what you want to do in the future!
All the best to you!
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 25th, 2006
I feel the same way when it comes to being on a different level.I feel like I view things totally different then others. Kinda like the glass half empty or half full.I feel like since I do view things differently.That it gives me different options to go about things then others. And others dont understand where im coming from half the time.Ive also noticed that what is important to me isnt to most other people and others dont understand this either.I feel unique,which actually was something I wanted as a younger child but now I feel alone that I have no 1 to relate to.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 28th, 2006
Smoking weed might increase the risk of getting schizophrenia by 50%. Its not really known for sure right now.

However in your story it seemed the only time you really had any psychotic experiences was when you were high, which most likely means they were not psychotic experiences at all, just the drug. Weed is a hallucinagin!!!!! Each person has a unique reaction to it. It seems to effect you strongly.

If you are not hallucinating when you are not high then you almost certainly dont have schizophrenia. Social anxiety would more closely explain your social problems.


In my case I started smoking weed heavily in college, but I never had any psychosis until a few years after I stopped smoking, so I see no connection in my case. But I also started because I thought it was cool, you are definitely no alone there :)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 28th, 2006
Experienced User
Dump It
Hi ya,
dump the weed man,go to church,be happy xx
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 16th, 2006
Dude, chill out. It was just weed. If weed turns out to be not your thing, then don't do it any more. Don't make such a big deal about it.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 20th, 2006
Disingaged
I know what you mean by seeing the future and just going through the actions. I too have learned just to act and react. I try to do things to the way people wish that they should be dome. That is when I can. I seem lately to not even be ablee to try. I just wanted to say keep up and hopefully one day we can feel ourselves again.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied September 21st, 2006
Paranoia
I know what you're going through bro, because my story is almost identical. I really think it's just paranoia. I've been afraid of a lot in life, mainly of people(and schizophrenia! what!), and weed brought that out even more. I've just stopped after realizing this and feel myself moving on to greener pastures. When the fear is overcome, life can emerge, including your emotions or feelings. I know this may sound corny, but I really think it makes sense. To all you guys, I think we think alike, and we can push through the fear. Also, weed makes you lazy, which can compound problems too. Weed can probably be alright for us in careful moderation, but it can cause a lot of harm for some people, like us. Honestly, your post helped me. Keep on truckin.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 26th, 2012
my best friend had that illness ,and i tried to help but after 2 years i thought he was my friend ,ten he stopped taking his meds, and one day the police came to my door and charged me with attempt murder on him ,he was sending me wierd tx messages everyday when he got out hospital and he took lots of drugs ,then he got stabbed and other things ,and he told police it was me ,his best pal,so why would he do that to me ,i thought the meds he was on were helping him,now ive to go to court for attempt murder ,i know it will go ok for me ,but what about him ,well i spent 10 days in prison because of it ,so i might end up in prison for nothing i done exept to try and help him ,how can they take his word against mine,hes been in lots of trouble ,ive not ever been in trouble ,so why was i put in prison on his say so ,they found my watch so they said in his house ,but i was in his house every few days ,can anyone give me help or advice please
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied March 26th, 2012
my best friend had that illness ,and i tried to help but after 2 years i thought he was my friend ,ten he stopped taking his meds, and one day the police came to my door and charged me with attempt murder on him ,he was sending me wierd tx messages everyday when he got out hospital and he took lots of drugs ,then he got stabbed and other things ,and he told police it was me ,his best pal,so why would he do that to me ,i thought the meds he was on were helping him,now ive to go to court for attempt murder ,i know it will go ok for me ,but what about him ,well i spent 10 days in prison because of it ,so i might end up in prison for nothing i done exept to try and help him ,how can they take his word against mine,hes been in lots of trouble ,ive not ever been in trouble ,so why was i put in prison on his say so ,they found my watch so they said in his house ,but i was in his house every few days ,can anyone give me help or advice please
|
Did you find this post helpful?