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Q: Pregnancy&birth

asked by: Mia61 on April 30th, 2006

New User

I was wondering, me and my boyfriend were talking about if I ever became pregnant, I work part time and my boyfriend is full time (well he works as a delivery driver at nights and a shift runner on a sunday) and he said he would be worried because of money, he said that if you say to the council your single and that your parents have kicked you out and you give them a letter saying that, that there put you in a house/flat/b&b or whatever they put you in, but it would only be for about 6 months, they would pay for the electric and bills but they would give you more money then when the council have found you a house they say to you that there is a avalible house that is free, and they help with bills etc. My boyfriend said this because his friend and his girlfriend were going to do this they daughter is one now but they live in a flat and the mum is saying now she wishes they did that because there badly struggling with money.

And by doing that the father can save better for when the council house comes along (then when your living at the council house you can say you and your partner are back together) or some where better to live so he can live with his partner and child, .
When my boyfriend said this to me I was a bit worried because I would hate to be on my own through the pregancy and birth but he said he wouldnt leave me if that happened he would still be able to see me every day but not stay, he said your aloud to have people to stay like 3 or 4 nights or something.

I was just wondering if anyone here could give me advice on what other options are avalible if I ever become pregant or what you have done in the situations. And the other thing I was wondering how much benifits do you get if your living at home or in aflat with your partner?
(i am going through a patch where atm I think I may be, ive been to the doctors and they examined me and told me to take a test next week thats why me and my boyfriend have been talking about this)

sorry for the long post! And bad spelling in some parts! :-)

Replies(6)

hunterjumper

replied on April 30th, 2006

Experienced User

I don't know too much about it.

If you are, you are I suppose. And if you need those resources you shouldn't feel shame to use them. At the same time, it sounds like you're scamming them and that's not fair. There's often not enough government housing and help to go around to everyone who actually needs it. In this case, to actually single mothers who don't have any other option of where to live. So you taking it away from them and lying that you have no help from the baby's father when you actually do rather ticks me off and seems rather rude and unfair. Just because you could get away with it, doesn't mean you should try.

I'm sure that if you sat down and budgeted out things, you could find ways to live without having to scam the government. Cut out things that aren't absolutely neccessary....Gym memberships, mobile phones, tanning, hair, nails, expensive clothes. If you have a transit/bus/subway line in your city consider giving up a car (if you have one) and walking and using the transit line instead. I do and that saves me probably about $400 a month in gas, insurance and maintanence of a car.

I really would just wait and see if you are pregnant before you start trying to plan out the next 6-12 months of your life though.

Mia61

replied on April 30th, 2006

New User

Yeah I no it is wrong but im not the one whos saying do it. I just wanted some advise and you gave it what im thankful for, my boyfriend said it because his friend and his girlfriend wished they did it that way, trust me if I am pregnant I wouldnt want to go away from my family and be away from my boyfriend, I didnt like the idea when my boyfriend said it, and I would give up alot because I would want to keep the baby. I seriously wouldnt want to do it that way, I think me and boyfriend would cope with out having to go through all that yeah every parent gets benefits for there child, they get it to help bring them up and to make sure they are ok, and it does help things, I just wanted to no options for young parents if they did have a baby, other options that ment not being seperated because I didnt like that idea, sorry if it came across that iw anted to do that. I really dont.

SamanthaM

replied on April 30th, 2006

Supporter

That's called fraud.

Mia61

replied on May 1st, 2006

New User

I no its called fraud, thats why I said I dont like that idea and I really would not like to do it and I would deff not want to be seperated from my family and my boyfriend.

And I said it because my boyfriend said it because his mate and his girlfriend wished they did it

i told you (every one on here) because I wanted advise on other ways that doesnt mean doing it that way, what I really dont want to do, so if any one else can help give me advise, I want to move in my boyfriend we were going to any way, but my boyfriend thinks we wouldnt be able to cope with the baby because of money matters, is there options that young parents could take so things would be ok?

Obv I didnt make my self clear that I did not want to do it that way,so here it is I do not in any way want to do it that way im here for other advise so me and boyfriend would be able to cope living together and be able to bring up a baby. Sorry if this comes across health forum or whatever but I seriously dont want to do it that way I just want other advise.

hunterjumper

replied on May 1st, 2006

Experienced User

I did give you some other advice.

Look at your financial situation. How much do you and your boyfriend bring in? Is it enough to pay rent in an apartment as well as pay for a baby and yourselves?

Work out a budget plan. What is essential? Groceries, baby things, rent, etcetc. What is not essential? Gym memberships, mobile phones, perhaps a car or motorbike, tanning salons, manicures, jewellery, nice clothes.

Shop second hand for whatever you need for yourself and babe. Check out thrift stores. It's a great way to save money, especially on baby clothes since your baby will only wear them for a couple weeks and outgrow them.

Be realistic. Do you live at home with your parent(s)? They may not like your boyfriend moving in and it simply may not be possible for you to afford the luxury of moving in together somewhere else. It's hard but that's just part of life. Your baby needs to come before your own desire to shack up together. If you can't handle raising a baby yourself just because you're not living with your boyfriend, you should put the baby up for adoption. Living together is a luxury and a privilage, not a right. I'd love to live with my son's father but we can't afford it either.

Mia61

replied on May 1st, 2006

New User

Ok, thankyou. Well I earn about £280 a month and my boyfriend earns £600 a month what I think would be fine to move in and pay for baby items, but I finish my college course in june and ill be working full time from there so ill be earning more. But my boyfriend doesnt think what we will earn will be enough. My parents wouldnt kick me out but there is no room at my house for a baby. I would put my baby first, and I would get items or clothing second hand,i wouldnt want to give my baby up for adoption I would regret that, thankyou tho,

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