Im sorry to hear that. But we cant live without God as you see. I am here to tell you that He Loves you so much. All good things comes from God. So he didnt give you whatever is making you suffer (if thats still the case). He wants the best for you. Thats why he gave us Jesus, so when things like this happens we have a right for healing -- trhough Jesus tho.
Here's what you can do;
1. Tell to God all you frustration (1 peter 5:7)
2. Ask him to forgive you of all your sins of thinking and doing.
3. Meditate day and night on 1 peter 2:24, cause thats your HEALING right there (!!) and become violent with it. Speak it, sing it, wisper it, ponder on it etc.
Untill it manifest in your life, and it will. Trust me.
4. Keep on praising God and thanking him everyday for your healing.
5, Walk by faith and not by sight no matter WHAT.
Its not ''God where are you?'' its.. where are you? Do what you need to do. Thats if you want to be healed.
You will see how wonderful God is.
Meditate, meditate, meditate. And keep on praying, praising, YOU ARE already healed.
God Bless you. Do it. Just do it.
SJ (22)- Netherlands
17:19-20 "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, `Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."