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Never Orgasmed (Page 1)

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I'm 24 years old and have been sexually active for 6 years. I've had several partners but have never reached an orgasm. I have tried oral, masturbation .... Everything. Is there anything I can do???
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First Helper MsAngie
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replied January 7th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Well I recently read in a magazine and I always say too: you need to relax first. Take a hot bath and clear your mind. Work on your positions with the guys. Lifting your lower end cna help reach the spot. Also sometimes loving the guy alot really helps it out too. Dont think too much while doing it. Just go with the flow and be relaxed, try positions and fourplay as well. You can try releasing your muscles down there and letting go. It should come. Good luck!
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replied January 7th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I have never had an orgasm because I won't "just let go" I need to stay in control of myself & my reactions/behaviour. I have tried everything but, I have now come to accept me as me.

Some women are still bound by old fashioned views on sex which dictated that no decent woman could or would ever enjoy sex only prostitutes did & they only pretended to!! This may be insane & stupid but such views are still held by some & can impact on a woman. Fair or not, this is true.
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replied January 7th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
This isn't my problem...I don't have a problem letting myself go. I enjoy sex...Fondly! And I love to moan...And talk...I just can't get "there". Or maybe I have, and I just have light ones...I don't know.

Jennifer Laughing
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replied January 8th, 2004
Im Not Repin For the Rabbit Honist
A lot of girls get comfussed and think that to orgasm they hane to have something inside there vagina not true in fact I very often orgasm just by clitoral stmulation, with practice it will come or rather u will Laughing
like I said to the (mememe) girl the rampant rabbit is the best invenion ever.


E jayne
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replied June 17th, 2010
No orgasm.
I'm 19 and have been sexually active for 3 years. I started masturbating at an early age but I can't even make myself reach climax. There's no climbing sensation for me. I enjoy sex but there's no big finish. I now believe female orgasms a myth, and will continue to think this until I experience it for myself.
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replied July 23rd, 2010
me too
lol, I am also ready to believe it is a myth! I am 24 am married and only ever had him as my sexual partener. He tries his best but I just don't like having sex because i find it frustrating that i can't really enjoy it. He tries different approaches and I do as well, but the truth is I just can't let go and enjoy it. Besides to be honest Sex still hurts for me, buggered if i know why...
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replied August 15th, 2010
can't orgasm
I am also 24, have had sex with a few different partners. One of which, beleives I exerienced an orgasm, but i do not think I did. I think I was just nervous and started giggling.

Either way, that has only ever happened once, and my body did nothing that I would describe as an orgasm.

Recently I had sex with someone i like alot, I think it is all part of the not being able to "fully relax" Don't get me wrong, I enjoy everything about sex. But my brain does not shut off. Wish It would, like the rest of you, I would like to expereince the "big finish" now I have just given up on myself and focus on getting my partner off.
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replied August 15th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
Ladies, First of all, if you do not orgasm during masturbation, I would encourage you to do so first. Not being able to bring yourself to orgasm is like somebody that cannot drive a car teaching somebody else to drive. It is pure insanity. Your partners were born with penises. In general, they do not understand how the female sex organs work. If you do not orgasm during masturbation, neither do you. Your body and sexuality is not dirty or bad. It is perfectly natural to masturbate.

Your partners have read the same magazines and books, seen the same movies as you did - Girl meets boy and after some passionate kissing, they both experience incredible orgasms. This is a fake reality. It only works that way for a small percentage of women. The rest of us need very special techniques and a lot of hard work to reach orgasm with our partners. It is just a fact of life that women do not talk about. Forget what the porn and entertainment industries dish up, that is pure fiction.

After you learned to orgasm by yourself, you know where you should be touched, how long, how hard, how fast. You can tell and show your partners what you need to orgasm. Most men would like nothing more than to give you the ultimate orgasm during sex. If you do not help them, they cannot figure it out for themselves. They do not know how you need to be touched and what makes you enjoy pleasure. Men’s model for intercourse is fairly simple, if they rub their penises for long enough, they will orgasm. They thus think that if they do that inside your vagina, you will also orgasm. This is not their fault, it is our fault. We need to educate our partners about what it takes to make us orgasm.

Most women need some assisted intercourse techniques to orgasm during sex. You would most likely have found out during masturbation that your clitoris is the single most important thing to get you to orgasm. Everything else is a side show that can help make it better or quicker. Your clitoris is however there for one reason only, orgasms!

So you need to find a way to get enough stimulation to your clitoris while your partner is inside you. A hand or fingers down there is normally what does it for most woman. Find a position where you or your partner can stimulate your clitoris by rubbing it. Doggy or you on top are ideal for this. If you are on top, you can also grind down on his pubic bone to stimulate your clitoris. Change your angle and grind and rub until you can feel that your clitoris is getting the stimulation you need.

It is important to know how the relaxing/concentration thing should work during sex. Relaxing and letting go will not make you orgasmic. Getting to an orgasm is like climbing a mountain. It takes work and you must keep on getting higher and higher. Sometimes you will hit a small down-hill before going up again. Once you reach the top and orgasm, it is all a wonderful downhill slide from there.

Orgasms rely on stress and tension building up in your pelvic muscles and genitals. You need to CONCENTRATE on these feeling building and on how to make it keep on building. You can tense your muscles. Some woman find it helpful to pump their legs open and closed while this is going on. Or they tense up and lift their butts off the bed to meet their partner’s pumping. If those muscles are relaxed, you will not orgasm. You have to keep on thinking and concentrating on those feelings. Once you ‘reach the top of the orgasm mountain’ where you can see in the valleys below, and your orgasmic contractions start, you have to relax; this is the time where you should clear your mind and allow your body to take over. If you are self conscious about this, it will not work. Moan, scream, grab, shake, cry – whatever feels good and natural to you. Do not suppress any reactions you have. Just let your body and pleasure centers take over. This is what you and your partner have been working and waiting for so don’t spoil it with over thinking it. During orgasm our minds literally shut down for a few seconds as hormones gets released into the brain. This is what makes orgasms so healthy for us. These hormones play a huge role in socializing and bonding and make you feel good and healthy.
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replied August 18th, 2010
There's good advice here, but I think we should accept that some of us just don't reach orgasm. I'm 45, have always enjoyed sex, but have never reached an orgasm, whether during penetrative sex or direct clitoral stimulation when masturbating. I don't come from a religious background, and have experimented many times, but have never gone beyond the so-called plateau phase. I suspect there are many women like me, and I also suspect it's essentially genetic. It doesn't particularly bother me -- as I said, I enjoy sex -- but the belief that every woman can reach orgasm, given suitable mood and method, may be mistaken. That said, if the advice works for you, then that's excellent.
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replied August 18th, 2010
Especially eHealthy
Beth1965, You are of course right. There are less than 1% of women that search treatment for anorgasmia that cannot seem to be able to orgasm at all, even after treatment. So out of the total female population it is a very small fraction of a percent.

If it bothers you or you want to try, I would however suggest seeking some professional help. The success rate of directed masturbation and assisted intercourse techniques are extremely high.

Take care!
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replied August 18th, 2010
susan862003: "There are less than 1% of women that search treatment for anorgasmia that cannot seem to be able to orgasm at all, even after treatment."

I generally agree. However, the percentage of all women who seek treatment for anorgasmia is also fairly small, so it's unlikely to be a representative sample of the female population. I suspect the anorgasmia figure is higher than 1% for the much larger percentage who don't seek treatment.

That said, the treatment does seem to be very effective for most of those who seek it. In my own case, directed masturbation was not successful in attaining orgasm (although it was very pleasurable!).
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replied August 24th, 2010
wow...that sucks! I would find someone you actually LOVE first before you have sex with them.

Many guys don't care about the female they are with if it is casual sex so...your choice I guess

But I'm sorry to hear that. I had my first at 19 (never did with my first boyfriend) because my fiance takes the time to please me.
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replied August 25th, 2010
My problem is that I'll climb to it, and then when I think that maybe I'll orgasm, the feeling will just go away. I don't know what to do to get the full feeling, but it's become very annoying to get to the top, and not go over.
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replied August 25th, 2010
i have never orgasmed before either, and when my boyfriend tries to stimulate my clit it is way too sensitive to touch and i just cant handle it being stimulated for more than a few seconds. i enjoy sex, and squirt everytime but i have never had a vaginal orgasm either. my knowledge was that if you squirt/cum you are having an orgasm but i have realised this isnt the case. we have experimented with different positions and foreplay but nothing seems to work.
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replied August 26th, 2010
One of my friends didn't have her first one through intercourse until she was thirty, married 12 years and the guy never knew he she faking. Now it takes her about 1-2 minutes on top for the first one with no clit action.

I've been with plenty of chicks that took oral or manual or even toys to get them there. Most guys just give up way to easy. Also, guys fake it more than you would realize. I've had to do it a bunch and they never had a clue.

And yes, reilly you're rigt. Female ejaculate doesn't always equal orgasm. Usually when it's a real one I can tell because her vagina contracts, and some times she'll start shaking and lsoing control for a second.

A male can also ejaculate without having a REAL orgasm. I've only had one really good one where I could feel all the chemicals my brain released at work. It's feels kind of like ecstacy, and has never happend from masturbation. So go figure. Now that I've had one though I can really spot when a women has had one or more after sex, there is no hiding that look on your face.
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replied November 5th, 2010
It's not impossible!
I agree that for those of you who have never had an orgasms, you need to give yourself one. I unfortunately, can't tell you how to do this because everyone is different. I think a major factor that will help you orgasm is your level of arousal when actual intercourse or stimulation begins. Sex is a mental game. I have found overall, if I am incredibly turned on before foreplay even begins, it become significantly easier to achieve an orgasm. Do what you need to turn yourself on. Think dirty thoughts, have a private self-exploratory session, fantasize or watch some porn. Get your mind their first, and not just a little there, but totally there. I didn't have my first orgasm through intercourse until eight years of being with my husband (we had started to think it was impossible), and I have had countless orgasms in my life from oral sex or masturbation. So this is not something you should expect to happen overnight. But practice getting yourself there and you never know.
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replied May 24th, 2012
I am a lesbian so believe girls know the female body. I have also tried different toys position, length of time (5 hours didn't work). I start to climb everything feels amazing and then nothing. Then we start again. Sex does feel amazing just never that O. I am so comfortable with my body and am able to relax. I am wondering if maybe it is because my muscles aren't in shape enough. So I have started doing kegul (sorry if it's spelled wrong) exercises as a last resort.

And if you were to go to a doctor. How would you go about it? It's intimidating to go to your family doctor.

Being gay, well I certainly know how to make other woman orgasm. Tried all this techniques on myself and I do have pleasure but not the big O. I would love to reach it at some point!
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replied June 29th, 2012
I am 19 and have been with my partner for a little under 2 years. We have an amazing sex life, but I too have not experienced that toe curling big finish that I so desperately would love to experience. We have tried soo many different things and none have worked. I am beginning to just accept the fact that this may never happen for me, and aslong as my partner and I are still having great sex and still love each other, I'm not sure I really care about orgasming after all!
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replied November 10th, 2012
Try this
I am 24, and I.have never been able to give myself an orgasm by myself (masturbating). I can only orgasm having sex and its not as complicated as everyone makes it sound. I find it easier to orgasm when the guy is bigger in size but its more about the position for me. Lay on your back with your guy on top of you and put your legs up on his shoulders, you can also put a pillow under your butt. This position gets me every time, and I mean I have full on porno-status squirting action. I thought at one time that I could never orgasm as well, so hopefully this position will work for you too, good luck!
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