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Would You Dump Someone You Love Over It?

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Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Sexual Health - Women -> Would You Dump Someone You Love Over It?
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dekemc

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 7
Would You Dump Someone You Love Over It?
Posted: 04-22-06 07:45am

If you loved someone who had an averagish penis (5.5", regular girth)
would you dump them because you prefered slightly bigger than average, like a previous lover had?
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tony3595

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 68
Location: IL

Posted: 04-22-06 10:08am

Are you basing your love on the size of your beau's penis? If that is all that matters in a relationship, go for the gold. But, to me, this is a very shallow reason. Usually, people leave relationships because there is something else missing, for example, tenderness, love, etc.
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notafan

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2006
Posts: 95
Location: pa
Re: Would You Dump Someone You Love Over It?
Posted: 04-22-06 11:17am

dekemc wrote:
if you loved someone who had an averagish penis (5.5", regular girth)
would you dump them because you prefered slightly bigger than average, like a previous lover had?


buy a dildo.
Would you be happy if a guy dumped you for a girl with bigger breasts?
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dekemc

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 7

Posted: 04-22-06 12:41pm

I am the guy. As it happens she does have small breasts, but I couldnt give a toss about that. I don't think it is quite the same though - breasts are not essential for having regular intercourse and enjoying it.

Maybe I am just kidding myself about what she feels for me.
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SydneyGirl

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 23
Location: Sydney
Let Me Get This Straight
Posted: 04-23-06 17:33pm

You are a guy and you think you may be dumped because you're not big enough (in comparison to your girls last boyfriend).

I would talk to her. Maybe it's nothing to do with size, maybe the two of you need to talk more about what you like in a lover. Talk about how you can satisfy each other.

Does she compare you to the other guy? What makes you think she's think along these lines?

Sydneygirl (age 41)
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dekemc

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 7

Posted: 04-24-06 04:03am

She split up with me about a month ago, saying that there was no passion in our relationship. I was gutted because I loved her, but she was right about the passion.

Month later she tells me she still loves me and was hoping we could get things back on track. I say i'm not sure. We have sex. It's the same as it always was though - no real foreplay - she only ever seems to want to pull out my dick and stick it in her. It's obvious she doesnt really get off from it and eventually we just stop.

I start asking her about sex because it is obviously the one thing in our relationship that has never been quite right. I think it is because I am crap in bed. She reassures me that it isnt that. I ask her if it is my size - she goes all shy and says - yeah I guess so, it would be nice if you filled me a bit more.

So seems like she has been able to achieve climax with previous lovers from just intercourse alone but can't with me. Thing is that I would love to spend hours making her come with my tongue and fingers - but she has never seemed interested in anything but straight sex. And there is just no communication! Her reaction makes me feel like I am prying when I ask her about anything relating to sex.

I guess it might just be an unavoidable fact that what she really likes is rampant intercourse, and the tender loving stuff does nothing for her.

At the same time, despite the fact she has more sexual experience than me, I think she is naieve - only likes what she is used to kind of thing.

I'd love to explore new things with her - but it's so hard when she clams up about talking and being open.

Also, she is only 21 and quite immature. It's obvious that she feels a lot for me, and that she feels terrible about feeling this way about my size - but maybe it is just an inescapable incompatibility issue.

Thing is, i'm young and fit, and I think that modifying positions to make me feel deeper and bigger inside her would make a difference (seen as I do have a penis in the average range)

just wanted to see what people thought... But I get the impression that the people on this board are perhaps too mature to understand her perspective
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SydneyGirl

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 23
Location: Sydney
I Think You're Right
Posted: 04-24-06 19:58pm

Hi dekemc,

i've just read your last thread and I agree with what you've written. She does sound as though she's not willing to try new things and that changing positions and discussing sex is beyond her capabilities. You may be right about the age of people who have responded, I am trying to think back to when I was 21 and how I thought of sex?

I can see her age is a barrier, until she has other partners and realises there's a lot more to sex that just the final act she'll just be the same.

If I were you? I'd move on, i'm not sure if you can make things any better, you've already tried to get back together and nothing changed. You're young and healthy and there are so many lovely woman/girls out there who would appreciate a loving man.

Sydneygirl
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Kia

Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 6593
Location: Planet Tampaxia,

Posted: 04-25-06 02:13am

Well given that the nerves in the vagina are concentrated in the first 3 inches then 5.5 inches is plenty.

Sounds like you need to learn more skill and patience. Ask her how she likes it, the angle you enter (even without changing position) can make all the difference.

From the basic missionary position you can lift her hips that will give you deeper penetration.
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dekemc

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 7

Posted: 04-25-06 09:01am

I appreciate your comments. It feels such a waste to me considering how much love there was in our relationship, but given that I can't get her to communicate i'll have to move on.

I might not have a love boat in my pants, but I think I am worth a little more credit than she has shown me recently.

I strongly suspect that 10 years down the line i'd be exactly the kind of man she would give anything for. I guess I can live with that thought.
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xashleex

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2005
Posts: 350
Location: winona,MN

Posted: 04-25-06 14:07pm

Youi just wanna mention its not the size of the penis that matters is how u work it and make it feel good because an ex b/f of myne didnt have a very big penis but he certanly knew how to work it and make it feel good :)
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MonkeyNose

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2006
Posts: 25

Posted: 04-29-06 09:49am

What my boyfriend does is try laying on each other backwards he lays down on his back and I do to and he uses his fingers too...Which is might what this girl might be looking for do both at the same time try that :))
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