* find out what a frog in a blender really
looks like.
* bill your doctor for the time you spent
in his waiting room.
* jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and
try to sneeze them out.
* read the dictionary backwards and look
for subliminal messages.
* when someone says "have a nice day!"
tell them you have other plans.
* start a nasty rumor and see if you
recognize it when it gets back to you.
* go shopping and buy everything. Sweat
in them. Return them the next day.
* thumb through the national geographic
and draw underwear on the natives.
* put your toddlers clothes on backward
and send her off to preschool as if
nothing is wrong.
* get a box of condoms then wait in line
at the checkout counter and ask a cashier
where the fitting rooms are.
* take shopping carts for the express
purpose of filling them and stranding them
at strategic locations.
* get boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in peoples carts when they don't
realize it.
* set all the alarm clocks to go off at
ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* run up to an employee (preferably a
male) while squeezing your legs together
and practically yell at him "where are
your tampons?"
* try on bras over top of your clothes.
* make a trail of orange juice on the
ground, leading to the restroom.
* while walking around the store, sing in
your loudest voice possible i" smell sex
and candy!"
* walk up to an employee and tell him in
an official tone, "i think we've got a
code 3 in housewares," and see what
happens.
* tune all the radios to a polka station;
then turn them all off and turn the
volumes to "10."
* challenge other customers to duels with
tubes of gift wrap.
* re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
* test the fishing rods and see what you
can "catch" from the other aisles.
* put m&m's on layaway.
* move "caution: wet floor" signs to
carpeted areas.
* set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if
they bring pillows from bed and bath.
* contaminate the entire auto department
by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
* nonchalantly "test" the brushes and
combs in cosmetics.
* when someone asks if you need help,
begin to cry and ask, "why won't you
people just leave me alone?"
* look right into the security camera, and
use it as a mirror while you pick your
nose.
* take up an entire aisle in toys by
setting up a full scale battlefield with
g.I. Joes vs. The x-men.
* ask other customers if they have any
grey poupon.
* while handling guns in the hunting
department, suddenly ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
* switch the men's and women's signs on
the doors of the restroom.
* dart around suspiciously while humming
the theme from "mission impossible."
* set up a "valet parking" sign in front
of the store.
* in the auto department, practice your
"madonna" look with various funnels.
* hide in the clothing racks and when
people browse through, say things like
"pick me!! Pick me!!" and scare them into
believing that the clothes are talking to
them.
* when an announcement comes over the
loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream, "no, no! It's those voices
again!"
* go to an empty checkout stand and try to
check people out.
* drag a lounge chair on display over to
the magazines and relax. If the store has
a food court, buy a soft drink; explain
that you don't get out much, and ask if
they can put a little umbrella in it.
* go into the dressing room and yell real
loud..."hey, were out of toilet paper in
here!"
i thought this was funny...Some of them
anyway! I figured it could releive some
stress! Smile! :d
