How to handle stress



* drive to work in reverse.


* dance naked in front of your pets.


* use your mastercard to pay your visa bill.


* make a list of things you have already done.


* pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.


* find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.


* bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.


* jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.


* read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.


* when someone says "have a nice day!" tell them you have other plans.


* start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.


* go shopping and buy everything. Sweat in them. Return them the next day.


* thumb through the national geographic and draw underwear on the natives.


* put your toddlers clothes on backward and send her off to preschool as if nothing is wrong.


* get a box of condoms then wait in line at the checkout counter and ask a cashier where the fitting rooms are.


* take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.


* get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.


* set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.


* run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "where are your tampons?"

* try on bras over top of your clothes.


* make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restroom.


* while walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible i" smell sex and candy!"

* walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "i think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.


* tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

* challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.


* re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.


* test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.


* put m&m's on layaway.


* move "caution: wet floor" signs to carpeted areas.


* set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from bed and bath.


* contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.


* nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics.


* when someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "why won't you people just leave me alone?"

* look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.


* take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with g.I. Joes vs. The x-men.


* ask other customers if they have any grey poupon.


* while handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.


* switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restroom.


* dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "mission impossible."

* set up a "valet parking" sign in front of the store.


* in the auto department, practice your "madonna" look with various funnels.


* hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me!! Pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.


* when an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "no, no! It's those voices again!"

* go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.


* drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.


* go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."hey, were out of toilet paper in here!"





i thought this was funny...Some of them anyway! I figured it could releive some stress! Smile! :d


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