Please take the hate word out of your vocabulary! Don't they give you a counselor to talk to after they release you, it does seem like you are relapsing, their are probably a lot of girls here that might be able to help you. Remember you are not alone and their are people around you that really do care, I am not around you but I care. Try your best to think positive thoughts! Can you talk to any of your family members about this, maybe your mom or an aunt, caall the hospital you were in, social services, mental health, maybe someone else can help you more than I can.
The best to you!

Hello.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Who can you rely on now? Any friends, family, doctors? Well, at least you can count on us everytime. It's a very hard moment for you, but you can be strong and overcome those difficulties you're having. I also thought I couldn't, but now I can control myself a bit more and throw up a lot less than I did.
You xcan also find strengh. If you now you need help, that's already the biggest step you are taking. Then you have to be strong and rely on your capabilities - which you have! - and go on with good healthy solutions for you.
Have you gone to the doctor lately and told that? Thay usually help, at least mine did help me...

The best wishes ***

Ive been to the doctor many times but I never say anything right I always hold whats bugging me most back for some reason. I dont know how it scares me in what they might say like will they be mad. I hate this about myself. If I could just say things. See im one of those quiet ppl that dont really say much if even at all. I just dont understand why I just cant stop running these circles. Right now im really happy I have this site to talk to ppl b/c there really is know one. When I try to talk to parents or friends and stuff they dont understand or like my mom I never tell her anything b/c she spreads what I say to everyone even ppl I dont know its embarassing kinda and I just want it to between the family or sometimes just her but she dont listen ever. I feel like no one ever listens to me clearly or they listen but they just move on to another subject. I feel like I dont belong anywhere with my family, at my school, maybe even here on earth im such an outkast.

I know how you feel like, because I feel like that too.
Sometimes, when I go to the doctors, I don't tell everything. I don't know why, because i'm supposed to rely on them and it's not like I don't, it's more like I don't want to talk about it or something else I can't explain.

Thanks for helping me stay strong it just feels horrible when I feel myself going round and round in my ed and I cant stop.

And how are you doing today? I hope you're fine.
Today is a sunny day outside, it feels like summer already. I'm thinking about the slice of icecream i've eaten for dessert, but I don't wanna think about it, i'll do something else instead. Perhaps i'll go to the downtown or do some necklaces.
Last weekend I was doing one necklace and then thought "i'll give one necklace or bracelet to those in the forum you manage to achieve their goals, like i'm managing to have some more zero days and controlling my eating to eat well".