Shizophrenic, Mass Confusion! (or Is It Just Me...?)

I've been reading up on schizophrenia and i'm getting really confused. For me, symptoms came on steady- starting out with the memory difficuties and contemplating therefore whether or not I had dyslexia. Poor living then put me into a depression, I was becoming more irratable, paranoia became a factor too. Ever since I was a small child, i've given random bursts of phrases that come to mind. Only ever when i'm alone and a thought comes to mind that overwhelms me with guilt/embarrasment odd words might come out that act to comfort; it's a semi-conscious outburst, I have the option to do the same with others around but refrain seeing how precarious the situation could become if I suddenly shouted out 'sure! I'll come by!', another point is that I don't usually get to thinking these thoughts while in social motivation. There's another thing, i'm socially two-faced, some days i'll be hyper and won't shut up, whereas others I can't think of anything to say, my monotonous voice I work on, so that's not as bad, but still there. Then came the convulsions, i've never gone into a full on blackout fit par se; I remember each one and there's a kind of twisted euphoria that comes with each of them, a comforting rush of endorphines.

I have no idea what's going on with me at the moment, it doesn't worry me. But I wouldn't mind knowing what it is. Could it be that I am in fact a schizophrenic? Or could I just be in the midst of some hormone-enduced dyslexic, epileptic, depression hybrid?

P.S- i'm actually from britain and I know britain and america have differant criterias for schizophrenia, but it helps to hear some response