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I Need Legal Advice

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goin_crazy

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I Need Legal Advice
Posted: 04-18-06 10:50am

Ok, I just found out that I am 2 months pregnant, and my mom said that since I am still a minor, she can take my baby from me. Can she do that? Because I dont want anyone to take my baby. And if I did give my baby up for adoption, could I let my friend adopt it even if she has 4 kids already?
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hopefulmjz

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Posted: 04-18-06 11:16am

I don't know any legalities of things like this, but i'm almost positive she can not take that baby from you no matter what your age. The baby is developing inside you, therefore you are the mother. Unless you consent to her taking the baby then i'm pretty sure she can't.
About letting your friend adopt the baby. I *think* there are ways you can choose the adoptive parents, I think they just have to go through all the steps just like any other adoptions. Good luck and don't worry about your mom taking the baby, she's nuts!
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Mabel

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Posted: 04-18-06 11:37am

How old are you? That may make a difference.
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ssparklers26

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Joined: 21 Jan 2006
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Posted: 04-18-06 16:40pm

In most states ( I believe) becoming pregnant automatically emancipates you. Which means you automatically become a legal adult in the eyes of the law. You have the right to make desicions about your childs healthcare, and living situation. If this wasn't so then doctors could take away any minors baby and give it up for adoption. I would recommend talking to your mom, it's sounds like she is trying to scare you into a: an abortion, b: giving the baby up or c: giving the baby to her. Remember this is your desicion not hers. And if you need help with specifics. Usually there is someone through the state that can help you. Good luck and

best wishes kat
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Mabel

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Posted: 04-18-06 16:45pm

Having a baby or getting pregnant does not automatically emancipate you.

And she hasn't ever said what her age is, which would be a factor in this. Is her mother fully supporting her? Will her mother also be fully supporting this baby?
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goin_crazy

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Joined: 18 Apr 2006
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Posted: 04-18-06 17:01pm

I am 15, I will be 16 in june. The baby's father is still in the picture, and he is trying to really help me as much as he can. The only problem is that he works at a really crappy paying job. I have told my mom that no matter what, she wasnt going to take my baby from me. I am just scared that she will find a way. My step dad is the reall problem. He is always putting me down emotionally, and I dont want him to raise or even be around my baby while it is growing up. I dont have a job, so if my mom tried to say that I was unfit to take care of my baby, technically she would be right. But I have so many people that are on my side of things and want to help me. My friends mom wants to help me. My other friends aunt wants to help me as much as possible. But the thing is, I dont know for sure if I can even carry the baby the whole 9 months. I am just so confused right now. If I can get as much advice as possible,it would help alot.
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ssparklers26

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Posted: 04-19-06 09:28am

I stand corrected I was told by afriend who was here that this was so. Apparently she was wrong. Apologies if I led anyone astray. Hope things go well. Maybe talking to your mom might help. Letting her know that you need and want her help. Maybe just maybe she's afraid that now that your pregnant you won't need her anymore. It could be the total opposite she could have the feeling that she's going to have to raise this child all by herself. Either way if you talk to her calmly (not that you aren't already) maybe she'll see that things can be worked out. I imangine your not the only one feeling the shock of the situation. And we all know that shock affects us strangely.

The best of luck to you. Kat
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goin_crazy

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Posted: 04-20-06 15:37pm

So if my mom feels that I am unfit to be a mother, she can try to take my baby? That cant be right. If I am the mother, and my boyfriend is over 18, I can sign over my rights to him. Right?
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Mabel

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Posted: 04-20-06 15:38pm

goin_crazy wrote:
so if my mom feels that I am unfit to be a mother, she can try to take my baby? That cant be right. If I am the mother, and my boyfriend is over 18, I can sign over my rights to him. Right?


do not ever sign over your rights to your child. To anyone.
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sandyallen

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Posted: 04-20-06 16:01pm

The best thing is is to talk to a state social service administrator or even a worker, they can get you in touch with the legal department, calm ddown and try to talk to your mom. Try to remember that stress is not good on any pregnancy, just remember that you do have people on your side and try to remain positive! We are here if you need to vent or if you need to talk! I have a big shoulder and I do understand these things! Your mom could be in a little bit of a shock too so give it time.
Good luck to you!
Keep us posted!
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Eyes Wide Shut

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Posted: 04-20-06 16:29pm

goin_crazy wrote:
so if my mom feels that I am unfit to be a mother, she can try to take my baby? That cant be right. If I am the mother, and my boyfriend is over 18, I can sign over my rights to him. Right?


this is a very very touchy situation. Your mother could actually claim statiotory rape because your man is over the legal age and you aren't. The laws in your state might differ though.

I don't want to be the lemon in all of this, but it sounds to me like your mother would be supporting your baby anyways. You don't have a job and your man can't make the ends meet for himself, let alone you and a baby. If you really and truely want the .B.E.S.T for your baby, you might want to consider it. It's not like she would keep the baby away from you forever.

Her motives might not be as cruel as your taking them. She might just want you to have an opportunity to get yourself financially stable to be able to raise your baby and give him/her the life it deserves.

Have you gone to a doctor yet?? If not, I highly suggest you do soon.

Sarah
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neeko177

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Posted: 04-20-06 16:32pm

Your mom would have to basicly take you to court and prove you to be unable to care for your baby, unstable etc... And your financial situation would not be a factor in that.. And also, there is assistance programs you could be on (not sure where u live) that will help you out financially. I live in canada and basicly once you have a child you have every right on your own child as your mother has with you regardless of your age. I was 17 when I got pregnant, with the father still in the picture and his mom thought we could not do it and was talking about taking it from us. All she had against us was our financial situation and age.. (now 18 and 20) and she was basicly just laughed at by her lawyer saying she did not have good enough reason to try to take this child. If you want to keep your baby, watch what you do.. Dont be around drugs or drinking etc your bf too and take good care of urself while carrying the baby.. Dont do anything that she could use against you and you should be fine. My boyfriends mom got nowhere. I am due in a week and cant wait. Oh, and with the adoption thing...You can chose the parents but they still have to go through the whole adoption process.. Either that or file for custody.. But I dont recomend you sign over custody of ur child to anyone..
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Kimmeh

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Posted: 04-20-06 16:34pm

I didn't read all the posts so this could have been said already but she can't just take your baby, she could go through court and claim you as an unfit parent and then ask and be granted custody, but she'd have to prove that. I reccomend if you do or act in any way that could be frowned apon in court to stop and clean up your life style, even if it means a boring life for you.

If your friend is legally an adult and you both consent to the adoption then yes you should be able to proceed without complications.

Also if she wants the baby because you plan on adopting it outside the family that is another matter. You will have to show the courts why you don't want her to be involved in your childs life because judges usually like to keep children within their own families if at all possible.

Good luck.
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Kimmeh

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Posted: 04-20-06 18:57pm

Hmm well no offence but the .U.S legal system is crap. Thank .God for canada.
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Eyes Wide Shut

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Posted: 04-20-06 20:44pm

Lol...Canada has always been somewhere where i'd like to visit.

Is is super cold up there during the winter months?!? I could only imagine!! I'm soooo used to the humid non-winter weather down here in .New .Orleans, i'd prob. Freeze to death!!!

Sarah
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neeko177

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Posted: 04-20-06 21:48pm

We definately have cold winters although I have nothing to compare it too cuz I have lived here my whole life. This year wasnt that bad at all.
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sandyallen

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Posted: 04-20-06 22:59pm

I remember it as pretty and green, cigarette and booze taxes were high! I also remember that there was one area that everything was written in french and this was a long time ago, is it still that way?
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goin_crazy

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Joined: 18 Apr 2006
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Posted: 04-21-06 10:23am

I am just scared that with all the stress that my mom is putting on me right now that I will lose the baby. The only real reason that I dont want my mom to take custody of my baby, is because of my step dad. He is emotionally abusive, and if thing dont go his way (especially with me) he gets physical. Like last night he grabbed my head and pushed me into my room. While I was babysitting a 3 month old. I tripped over the diper bag and almost busted my head on the wall. But see no one seems to listen to that. They all say that I am making it up. And if they do take my baby, and when it is older, I am scared that he will hit mys child. If he will push me around, knowing that I am pregnant, I know that he will hit my child. I dont want that at all. I just dont know what to do.
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goin_crazy

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Joined: 18 Apr 2006
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Location: wilmington, ohio

Posted: 04-21-06 13:17pm

She only cares about him and his money. She knows exactly what he does and she is still with him. I know she aint too scared to leave him, but she just wont do it. My mom quit talking to my brother completely, until he had his baby. And the only reason that she quit talking to him,was because of her husband. She even told me like 2 days ago, that her job was more important than her family. She doesnt want to spend any time at all with her family. She dont talk to her mom and dad, she dont talk to her brother neice or nephew. She has basically given up on her family because of her husband.
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neeko177

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Joined: 16 Feb 2005
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Posted: 04-21-06 13:37pm

Lol yeah we have cold winters..And nice summers...
Montreal speaks just french.. But other than that you usually see alot of things written in both french and english .E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. Lol.. And yes cigarette and booze is exspensive! A pack of brand name players cigarettes is over $9 canadian here.. I dont know what its like there...

Anyways... Do you think you could talk to your mom and explain to her your reason for not wanting her to take your baby? And also, what if you have the baby, you and the baby would be living with your mother right? You could raise the child and have your mother there to kinda guide you and help you with anything you needed as well as you would be there to address all your concerns with ur step dad... And eventually when you and ur child became older u would move out of that home and wouldnt have to worry about him
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