love what you did there with the pictures,
opposing. Maybe this way kirra will
finally see he's totally NORMAL. I've done
a lot of tests with pictures of the
celebrities that i think look very
symmetrical. Everyone i have analized has
a side of their face wider than the other.
Some A LOT wider than the other. Some have
very different eye shape, kind of like
you, opposing. I think that's the normal
asymmetry that all humans have, nothing to
worry about.
About the two mirrors thing, i really
think that it distorts the face way too
much. As i've mentioned and showed you
with my picture, my lower jaw is off to
the left. I think my nose is a lil' bit to
the right also. I have practiced biting
'down the middle' to see if i look less
asymmetric, and i do think i look more
normal when i do this, but my jaw muscles
get tired and of course my teeth don't
meet properly there. But doing this i can
achieve a little bit more symmetry. When
i'm looking at myself with the 2 mirrors,
there's no amount of moving my lower jaw
that gives me a little more symmetry. I
move it all the way to the right as far as
i can and it looks like it would have to
move even further to the right... I look
VERY freakish with the 2 mirrors.
You want to know something odd? It seems
that in real life my asymmetry isn't that
noticeable after all. Or maybe just some
people are way more scrutinizing than
others. The only one that ever said
anything to me and pinpointed that my
mouth was crooked, was my boyfriend. Also
one of my co-workers asked me if my nose
was crooked.... I guess it could look that
way as i always have my head tilted...
Anyway, i went to 2 different dentists
this weekend. I'm trying to find out if my
asymmetry could be fixed with braces. Or
at least some of it. Neither one that
examined me noticed my asymmetry. As i
noticed they didn't say anything or
mentioned that braces on me would be more
difficult or something, i pointed it out
to them. They both stared at me, after a
while one of them said that it was barely
noticeable, and the other said she didn't
see it at all. Both of them only said "oh,
ok, i see what you mean" when i pulled my
lower lip down and showed them were my
midline is. But both of them said they
couldn't tell just by looking at me and
that it was odd cause they pay a lot of
attention to those sorts of things.
Also, at one of the offices, i had a
little "fan club" thing going on there,
haha. The male interns asked to take a
picture with me. :S Partly because i had
to specify where i work, i guess they're
fans of my company... they said they
wanted a picture with the "-company name
here- girl". As i was sitting there
getting examined by the female doctor, one
of the guys came over, stood there just
looking at me. The doctor laughed and said
i had my admirer there. Haha, they made me
feel like a celebrity or something. One of
them asked for my e-mail so he could mail
me the picture. Or did they ask for a
picture cause they wanted to have proof of
the 'freak'? lol. Or are they really fans
of my company? I don't think it's that big
of a deal, and i don't think i'm sooo
pretty to have them want a picture with
me just cause i'm cute or something, nor
do i think i look like that big of a freak
either. So, i don't know! haha. Strange.
Ok, so my point with all of this is, that
it seems that we notice our flaws more
than anybody else. The people that notice
them too are the sorts of people who are
always looking to see what's wrong with
you (like my boyfriend... he's told me of
a lot of other things that are 'weird'
about me that even i hadn't noticed, or
things that i think are very normal about
me). I know most of us aren't making up
these flaws and asymmetries of ours, but i
do think they show up more on photos and
in mirrors than in real life. So maybe if
we COULD rid the world of cameras and
mirrors we could pass as very normal
people, haha.
|
ms bean
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-08-08 08:16am
hehe i wish i could see you biani because
i think your very pretty. your skin looked
flawless in the picture. your face is also
rounder than mine.. i think that helps
hide the uneveness
my lips are also uneven like yours.
actually it depends on where i bite on. if
its on the right side then my lips looks
normal but when i chew on the left
side.... its definitely veering to the
left.
we all have our bad days but im really
thankful to God that he didnt made me
totally deformed, with two legs or
something.i dont know anybody who has an
asymmetric face other than those who
shared their stories here so its been a
really good support group for me. other
than the breakup i already feel good about
myself.
tip: try to post something you like about
yourself in the mirror when your feeling
down. ie.. i have a nice eyes, i have nice
legs etc etc.. it really helps!
|
Biani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 166 Location: ,
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-08-08 11:17am
lol, thank you ms bean. I'm not that
pretty, haha. And i took that picture when
i had no breakouts, they come and go...
sometimes i got zero zits on my face, at
others i get a couple of them... I would
be sorry to disappoint you if i showed you
a picture of my full face!!
Ms bean, do you have a crossbite of some
sort? You mentioned you got braces... did
they leave your teeth crooked some way or
do they look perfectly straight?
I have tried focusing on something i like
about myself to get me less depressed
sometimes... too bad i can see flaws
EVERYWHERE.... i like my ears though. lol.
I find nothing wrong with those. When i'm
feeling ugly i can easily focus on
everything that bothers me about myself...
when on better days i don't mind at all
and sometimes i even feel attractive. :S
|
Octavius
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 04-10-08 13:27pm
I think the two-way mirror thing is about
optics. When you put two mirrors at an
angle, the distance that the light needs
to travel will be longer in one side of
the mirror and shorter where the two
mirrors are near each other. This will
make your face look distorted and will
give you the wrong proportions, possibly
exacerbating any asymmetries. I would like
to get this confirmed by an expert of
optics. I tried drawing the rays of light
between the face and the two mirrors but
Im not completely sure of how the light
will reflect. Any suggestions?
|
Biani
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 166 Location: ,
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-10-08 19:43pm
Interesting Octavius. Sadly i know nothing
about that... Hope somebody will come to
our rescue and explain this further! This
optics theory does some logical...
Well, i've got news about the cause of my
asymmetry. I went back to the orthodontist
today and he told me that i have condylar
hyperplasia (one condyle is bigger than
the other) and that for the most part, my
asymmetry seems to be due to my misaligned
teeth. He says he thinks it should be
fixable with braces... I'm supposed to go
back there in about two weeks to see him
again, by then he will have analized my
x-rays.
I hope that indeed it can be done with
braces... i will have to get a second and
third opinion though, it scares me to have
something done and it going wrong somehow.
|
opposingrhythms
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Mar 2008 Posts: 12 Location: ,
Posted: 04-10-08 20:38pm
I think the two mirror reflection is no
different from taking a standard photo and
flipping the image on the computer, I'm
almost sure I see the same exact asmmetry
on both.
However I look at myself everyday on both
mirrors which has forced my eyes to see
the same asymetry on both mirror
relflections, ( I can't say I look Normal,
nor do I look freakish on either of the
reflections, they're both a bit off
though...) they're almost identical to
me.
In the past before I had easy access to 2
large mirrors I would freak out looking at
my 2nd reflection, but now that I see
both, I think my mind understands the
truth of the asymmetry and not the "shock"
of seeing it in reverse for the first
time.
I still believe both photos and mirrors
due flatten things out more, which makes
asymmetry more apparent (ever notice how
people's faces look wider in photos
sometimes?)
|
ms bean
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Posted: 04-12-08 11:54am
^^ biani ortho was actually done to fix my
bite. i had a slight overbite.. and
crooked front teeth
my ortho is also a tmj specialist. shes
actually one of the best in the city.. she
said that my asymmetry could be corrected
4 yrs ago by fixing the bite. but after a
year of trying to correct my asymmetry she
apologized for being wrong. my teeth are
straighter but my jaw is still crooked.
i suggest you do a bone scan. because if
the growth of one jaw isnt equal to the
growth on the other side then surgery is
the next option to "cut away" a portion of
the excess and make the face more
symmetrical. BUT hopefully it might be
just your bite. do the scan first then go
for braces if its negative for
overgrowth/undergrowth of jaw.
if your willing enough.. you can send me
pics of your teeth/ bite. also a whole
picture (you can wear small shades for
anonymity of your face a
straigh front view smiling wide and
another one without smiling at all
hope this helps!
|
JBNJ
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 6
Wow, not alone Posted: 04-12-08 23:54pm
Wow I thought I was the only one that had
this problem. I too think that I look
completely normal in a "normal mirror" but
when I look into two mirrors set at 90
degrees I look hideous.
My jaw is crooked to the left a little bit
and that make my face seem stretched on
the right side and pinched on the left.
I'm gonna post a pic ASAP to see if I
really have an issue or if its just me.
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-17-08 02:31am
Octavius
wrote:
I think the two-way mirror
thing is about optics. When you put two
mirrors at an angle, the distance that the
light needs to travel will be longer in
one side of the mirror and shorter where
the two mirrors are near each other. This
will make your face look distorted and
will give you the wrong proportions,
possibly exacerbating any asymmetries. I
would like to get this confirmed by an
expert of optics. I tried drawing the rays
of light between the face and the two
mirrors but Im not completely sure of how
the light will reflect. Any
suggestions?
*sigh* I wish you were correct, and I wish
this were a proven fact, but when I look
in a double mirror, as horrible as it
seems, everything makes more sense. My
TMJ, my bad posture, everything. Even why
I have a good side and a bad side (One
side of my face is round with a good
cheekbone, the other is flat and looks
weird/very uneven).
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-17-08 16:50pm
I just took some pictures and a video of
my face from fairly close up, and I looks
like to do in a double reflection (really
awful). I guess thats how the world sees
me.
So I feel pretty sick.
|
methos64
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 34
Posted: 04-18-08 04:37am
i seem to have the same problem as most of
you have. except for kirrabeachbum, that
guy has a very natural looking face.
i believe my problem is definitely because
of my jaw being crooked. when i extend my
jaw, i can see that the right side has a
larger bump than on the left. so i believe
that that bump is what has pushed my jaw
down and has it looking skewed to the
left. not sure if its a muscle or bone or
both being bigger/longer. but thats what i
would think is doing it. its probably both
the upper and lower jaw. cause even my
nose is slanted to the left. which makes
the bone of my nose stick out a bit to the
right. so it clearly seems like if my nose
is broken cause of it.
like you guys have mentioned about the
mirrors. i look at myself face forward
into the mirror and i only notice if i
look down towards my mouth and chin. if i
wear to wrap my neck with a dark colored
shirt, i can then clearly see that
asymmetry with my chin and the sides of my
face being very different as it curves.
but when i look in the reflection of the
reflection. by using a hand mirror and
looking forward. i look ugly almost
freakish. where i can clearly see that my
chin is skewed to the left.
when i tilt my head a little you can tell
that from a little below from where my
eyes are , that my face just tilts.
dont really know what else to say cause
you all seemed to have described exactly
how i feel. so heres some pics to show
what im having to deal with.
these were taken with a webcam so the
image is flipped sometimes. so in some my
chin seems to point to the right instead
of to the left.
the first four photos were taken about 2
weeks ago. the rest are from last year.
this is one that my friends said they
liked cause of the pizza. my nose looks
ook. but you can cleary see how my chin
is all off.
heres one of me from a mirror at the mall
which is a bit fuzzy and from a distance.
so u dont really see that my face is
crooked unless u really focus in on it.
this is what i would consider a good pic.
heres the full pic of one of the ones from
above
this is what i would consider a decent
pic.
in this one i think i look totally normal
except from the mouth down. thats where it
just looks scary to me.
and heres one where im at an angle so u
cant see the problem
so i think this is what i would look like
if my jaw was normal.
i may not see myself as being attractive,
but i wouldn't be so depressed about it,
if my face was a natural normal looking
face. because then itd just be a matter of
opinion if people like the way i look or
not.
but instead its more like i got this big
deformity that makes me all unnatural
looking. im afraid to even smile cause it
just looks so bad.
i think if my jaw was aligned properly,
that itd fix my nose from looking totally
crooked. even if it didnt, i wear glasses
now, so the nose bone is hardly
noticeable. but my mouth and chin, well u
cant hide that sort of thing.
with celebrities and such, i can see the
asymmetry they have, but its usually
always from the shape of their cheeks and
such. not because their chins are slanted
or jaws are abnormal.
cause i noticed it on Skeet Ulrich
but his chin is straight.
so if that were my situation, i wouldn't
be complaining at all.
i plan to eventually see an orthodontist
about it. just to know exactly what is the
problem. and know whether this will get
worse or cause even more issues down the
road.
cause ive been like this since i was about
16 or 17. though it wasnt noticeable to
me cause i didnt really look at myself in
the mirror nor did i wear glasses at the
time. but i went and looked at a few high
school photos and my drivers license and
those kinds of things and yeah my chin is
at an angle causing half of my face to be
at an angle as well.
im 23 now, going on 24. and well its just
really put me down. now i wonder if people
notice the deformity.
cause like u guys ive had people say that
im cute or attractive and what not. and
over the years there have been quite a few
girls that have had a crush on me. so i
know im not a total freak of nature that
no one would want to be associated with .
but it still bothers me a hell of a lot.
cause i have to look at myself each and
every day.
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-19-08 01:48am
Well, you're NOT deformed methos64, so
please dont think that about yourself.
Your chin looks like its kind of crooked.
Maybe due to a unsymmetrical jaw. I have
that too. But its fixable.
And your nose looks straight. The
cartilage in the tip looks a tiny bit
bent, but thats common for people with
noses on the larger side. The actress
Jodie Foster has crooked cartilage in her
nose too, and she was voted one of the
most beautiful women alive.
Tell me, do you look better, worse, or
the same as you do in double
mirrors/single mirrors?
|
methos64
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 34
Posted: 04-19-08 02:03am
i believe its cause of my jaw and not so
much the chin itself. cause i remember
when i was 16 or 17. at random i remember
my jaw going out of place or something of
that nature. cause i remember it making a
loud clicking sound and i couldn't even
chew cause it would hurt. like if it was
just sore for some reason. at the time i
told my mom and she said that that happens
to people sometimes that its no big deal
at all. and just gave me some tylenol for
the discomfort. by the end of the night i
could chew again just fine. i look back
at my high school ID from my senior year
and yeah my face is the way it is now,
same with the nose.
but before then i had a normal straight
face.
i hope getting it 'fixed' wont be all
painful and traumatizing. but yeah its
something i know i have to get fixed
otherwise ill feel like ill live out my
youth always feeling discouraged and just
not healthy.
the nose doesnt bother me as much cause
like u said theres Jodie Foster, though i
dont see it as noticeable on her as it is
on me. but then u got someone like Owen
Wilson that has a really funky nose but
that doesnt stop him any.
though my nose is very noticeable that its
crooked, cause people have pointed it out
to me. but since i wear glasses all the
time now, its not as distinguished.
in double mirrors i look like a totally
different person. and i mean each flaw is
just so much more noticeable.
in a single mirror i look decent, though
if i look closely enough, i can see the
curve in my face cause of my jaw and chin.
when i use a hand mirror, i look into it
and yeah hideous. if i look into the
handmirror but instead of looking at
myself i look at what it shows from the
larger mirror and my face looks just like
if i were looking at the single mirror
only.
and i just dont know what it is that other
people see when they look at me. do they
see what i see in the single mirror, or do
they see what the two mirrors see.
i took some pics with the phone when i was
waiting in the car, to see if theres any
difference from being outside compared to
being indoors in front of a mirror.
and this is pretty much the same way i see
myself when i look into a mirror.
which isnt all that bad, you can see that
theres a curve in my face though.
thing is that the pics are obviously
flipped, cause im actually in the driver's
side not the passenger side.
so i flipped them over. and this is what
you get. and this is more or less how i
see myself with two mirrors but a bit more
worse.
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-19-08 20:43pm
I guess its the same problem I have. The
pain in your jaw is probably a the
disorder called TMJ. Surgery to fix the
jaw costs a lot of money. Way more then I
have. But theres apparently other options.
I made a thread about it here:
One of the moderators mentioned a
"neuromuscular dentist." They apparently
take xrays of your jaw, and then work to
align it properly over time (I think).
I guess shes gonna reply with more
information soon.
It looks like you only have a jaw problem
and nothing else (from what I can see). An
asymmetrical jaw can throw off your entire
face and make everything look more crooked
(But I guess you know that lol).
|
methos64
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 34
Posted: 04-19-08 20:54pm
i imagine thats what itd be , at least
thats what i tell myself that i have. but
im sure it has a a specific long name to
it.
it hasnt hurt at all since that day when i
felt like my jaw got dislodged or
something. only time i get a jaw click
happening is if i really overwork the
muscles or sleep all wrong.
yeah thats why im not sure if i have any
options, cause surgery is damn expensive.
and im just a college student with no job.
cause i can barely handle the stress of
school and then having to deal with this
issue is just too much to take on as it
is.
i dont see how they would align it over
time. i mean thats gotta be really
uncomfortable. but i imagine an
orthodontist would do the same thing. in
taking xrays and telling u what exactly is
going on and how to treat it.
lol yeah. i believe my crooked jaw is what
caused my nose problem too. cause it just
has my whole face at an angle making the
skin stretch off to one side.
|
lala22k2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
assymetrical faces Posted: 04-22-08 18:15pm
I'm really glad I stumbled upon these
postings. For my whole life I've felt
insecure because whenever I look at
pictures and compare myself to other
people, all I see are my imperfections and
asymmetry. It's insane! All I see is my
chin isn't where it should be, my eyes are
squished, I have a strong jaw, my nose is
uneven, blah blah blah! I would waste alot
of time just obsessing. The worst part is
I thought I was the only one, but clearly
not because you people seem to have alot
to say! my god it was so crazy, I used to
worry that noone would be attracted to me
because supposedly people are
instinctively attracted to those with
perfect symmetry. Talk about shallow.
Noone looks at our faces as much as we do,
and people who love you only see what
they're attracted to anyways. Big whoop we
don't look like actors and models. Even
they don't look like that when they have
no makeup on. We're natural, healthy
people, and thats beautiful in itself.
Thank you for the discussion though! Now I
feel a bit more normal.
Love, LALA.
|
methos64
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 34
Posted: 04-22-08 18:37pm
i just told my parents earlier today and
they thought i was making stuff up. then i
pointed it out and they were like OH MY!
my dad was all concerned while my mom was
all 'well you wont die from it'
i was like damn. thanks for the concern.
they said they would see who they can find
to make an appointment and see what the
hell happens from there.
my dad thinks maybe when i was 16/17, that
when my jaw went out of place, it probably
didnt get put back in the right place. so
the muscle just grew around it and thats
why it appears larger.
he told me to rest my head on its side.
and i pointed it out and he was just
freakin scared. when i showed how my teeth
are actually not crooked at all, cause
really i just tilt my face and voila , my
teeth are perfect looking. thats when she
was like YEA! we gotta get that fixed or
youll probably get worse over time.
now its like the more i think about it, it
actually feels more uncomfortable.
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-23-08 02:50am
^ Well, at least your parents care. My
family insists nothing is wrong with me,
and get mad when I try to talk with them
about it. I don't know if they really
can't see, or if they just don't want to
see. But I know its not in my head, I wish
it were, and I've tried telling myself
that, but I honestly think I have some
sort of birth defect. It makes me sick to
think about.
@lala22k2, thanks for trying to cheer
people up, but thats sort of an ignorant
and inconsiderate thing to say, as what
some of us are worrying about could be
actual facial deformities. And it sure is
easy for someone with a normal face to say
to someone who has a deformity "Big whoop,
no one's perfect, blah blah blah."
|
methos64
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 34
Posted: 04-23-08 03:08am
at first my mom all lectured me about it.
saying im just making stuff up and doing
it on purpose to stress her out even more.
and wasnt till AFTER she took these
anti-axiety pills the doctor gave her
recently, that after about an hour thats
when she bothered to listen to my
problem.
cause shes all well if it was like this
for years how come u never said anything?
and well its different now compared to
before. back then i was just a teenager in
my own little world. i never checked
myself out in mirrors, i didnt have a
digital camera of any sort. so it was just
not an issue for me. whereas now im a lot
older and wiser. and well eventually u
form relationships and what not. u go to
school, get a career. so ur constantly
having people look at you. in other words
its just more of a concern these days than
back then.
u should post pics of ur face from
different angles and locations to see if
it seems obvious to us that ur face has a
drastic asymmetry.
cause apparently my mom always thought
that i was just making faces and
deliberately moving my face to the left.
which seems stupid but that was her first
thought. but after pointing it out to her,
now she notices that my face is thinner on
the right than on the left.
im asumming since ur parents know what u
look like, that ur face is normal to them
cause thats how they have always seen you.
so itll be tougher to point out the
irregularities. cause this isnt like
saying u got acne or sensitive skin
problem. this is about ur bone structure
being completely off center.
i agree about lala22k2. its so easy for u
to tell someone who has an issue that they
are gonna be fine and not to worry about a
thing. all the while u have good health
and an all around normal natural
appearance.
unless youve had the same experience or ur
a doctor on the matter, the opinion just
doesnt really count for much.
|
anenome
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2008 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-24-08 03:03am
Sorry to say:
There are a variety of birth defects
stemming basically from the disease
Hemifacial Microsomia, and I'm positive
that I have it. God, I wish I didn't. But
somehow, I inherited it genetically. My
grandfather has it, and my mother has it.
Its very mild, but basically it means that
one whole side of your face didn't develop
all the way in the womb. It can be very
mild to very severe, and no one knows for
sure why it happens, and its nearly
impossible to fix to make you look 100%
normal. Even if you had the hundreds of
thousands of dollars for the damn surgery.
Maybe insurance will cover it, but I don't
know.
I've been reading about it online. There
are a lot of conflicting information about
it, but basically:
-One jaw mandible is underdeveloped,
leading to a crooked jaw, cross bite,
crooked chin, crooked mouth etc.
-One side of the nose is underdeveloped,
leading to a crooked nose, one nostril
being oversized, breathing difficulty.
-Same for cheekbones.
-One eye may be smaller then the other,
and is normally higher or lower then the
other.
-Ear problems, or being born without an
ear
-Spine and neck problems, holding your
head at angles.
-Wind pipe or lung problems.
-Heart problems.
And there's more, but thats basically it.
I have tinnitus, and my mother is deaf in
one ear. She says its from music, but I'm
beginning to believe its a birth defect.
My grandfather and mother have
unsymmetrical ears. Myself, my
grandfather, and my mother all have
unsymmetrical cheekbones, but mine is most
noticeable. They don't seem to have the
jaw problems that I do, but mine are
pretty bad/very unsymmetrical. I and my
grandfather have crooked nose/one large
nostril. Mine wasn't as noticeable until I
got a nose job some years ago, and now its
amazingly crooked. My grandfather has wind
pipe/lung trouble, and so does my
great-grandmother (his mother). I find it
easy to choke on things, so I guess I have
wind pipe trouble. And my grandfather also
has heart trouble.
Luckily, my grandfather and mother's bone
problems are hardly noticeable. Mine are.
I don't fully understand reflections. I
look very normal in one reflection. And it
can be from anywhere, like a hand mirror,
or just catching myself reflecting off a
window of from water. But I guess its just
my mind playing a cruel joke on me, and
I've had this deformity for my whole life,
which makes since. I remember one time at
school one of my friends with a mean
streak seemed to gasp, and he held my
head. I'm pretty small, and he was a
weight lifting basketball player, so he
was able to hold my head and my face to
people and say that he just realized I was
deformed. Since he was one of those kids
who was always pulling jokes (I was too,
we all were and you know how guys tease
each other) I thought he was just messing
with me, and it was never brought up
again. I didn't think of it at all, and
had completely forgotten it.
But now looking back, it sort of makes me
sick. And thinking back on a lot of
things, maybe just a clerk in a store
being extra nice or something, I think to
myself "Oh my god. Were they just being
nice because they feel sorry for my face.
Am I one of those people?..." I remember
when I was getting my nose worked on, one
of the nurses made a point of telling me
the doctor was trained to work with people
who, she paused, who has facial
deformities. I remember thinking to myself
"Why is she telling me this?" But now I
guess it was apparent to everyone but me.
And it still isn't unless I look in a
double reflection.
I imagine the reason my family cant see
what I'm talking about is the same reason
why none of my flaws show up in a normal
mirror. Its because your mind doesn't want
to know. Also I guess its because they've
gotten so used to my face, and that they
just paint out all the asymmetrical
features subconsciously. Nobody wants to
think their child is deformed. And since
its apparently an inheritable trait in my
family, it takes away the chance of me
ever having a child of my own. Why would I
want someone else to go thru what I am
now? What if he/she has born with a major
deformity. Its a horrible situation to be
in, because I've actually always wanted to
be a father, and have talked about it with
people before.
And yes, I've taken pictures of my face
and they confirm my fears. I before tried
telling myself "Its just the angle I'm
holding my head/camera." But now I can't
deny it.
Have I told my family about my findings?
No, they simply don't want to hear it.
Half way thru next month I'm meeting with
a surgeon for a brief consultation to just
try to get some straight answers. I
already know the answer, but its better
then nothing.
My life is really in a rut. I'm so
amazingly self-conscious now. I haven't
spoken with any of my old friends in so
long. I've sort of self-imposed a Syd
Barrett style isolation on myself, expect
without any creative outpour, hah. Sure, I
could go out and all that, but I just have
no desire to. I guess I'm just extremely
vain.
It just really gets to me that the mirror
still lies and shows me a face thats not
only good looking, but not really mine. I
wish I could at least look in a straight
refection and not get a lie. A face that I
wish I had and had thought I really had my
whole life. I bet my whole life, people
were thinking;
"Wow, how courageous. He has so much
self-confidence and is so finny, and yet
he's deformed." When I all along thought I
was like everyone else. God!...i feel
stupid.
And no one has to actually read his if
they don't want to. I'm just venting b/c I
don't have anyone to talk with about these
problems.
@methos64, like I said, your chin does
look crooked. If one side of your face is
smaller then the other like you say, then
it could be something more, but from the
pictures you look like a normal healthy
person. But I know myself that certain
camera angles can make you look normal. I
can take a picture where I look pretty
normal, when I guess IRL I don't.
For example, here's two pictures of a girl
with Hemifacial Microsomia. In this first
picture, she looks completely normal, but
in the second, you can tell she has bad
asymmetry (which looks similar to mine):