Broken Hearted Forum - Never Even Had the Chance For Heartbreak

Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > Never Even Had the Chance For Heartbreak

Q: Never Even Had the Chance For Heartbreak

asked by: anon3432532532 on April 15th, 2006

New User

Had to post this somewhere.

I'm 22 years old and ive never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a date, never kissed a girl, never held hands, I rarely even have conversations with girls. I feel so alone, and it just leads to depression, anger, bitterness. I can't enjoy myself anywhere anymore. I wen't to a concert for what has to be my favorite band ever, and the night was ruined for me because all I saw were couples holding each other - then it was depression and alcohol time. I can't enjoy myself anywhere where I might see a couple.

I feel so empty, like I wont be able to be happy ever. Every day I feel like this. I can't even talk to women. I feel like im a little kid every time i'm talking to a girl. I screw up my speech, im nervous. I have never to my knowlege had a girl interested in me - but I see so many jerks with girlfriends. I've known guys to cheat on their girlfriends but their girlfriends stay loyal. The worst scum of the world can be loved, why can't I be loved?

I won't do internet dating, I wont ask friends for help, I don't want pity, I dont want anyone coerced into trying to date me, I do not want to be set up by friends because they know i'm lonely. I'm getting to the point where i'm thinking 'if they dont want me, I dont want them.' but it still hurts so bad. My self esteem is complete garbage by now. I'm constantly nervous and uncomfortable because of this.

I dont know why im posting, it's not going to solve anything, but if anyone who has been in similar situations can say something helpful it might be nice.

Replies(5)

Spirit

replied on April 16th, 2006

Experienced User

Baby steps...Baby steps. Don't expect to go all out and ask a girl out the first time you meet her. But do practice what your going to say...What your response will be to certain situations. When meeting people for the first time it's best to keep the conversation light and nonthreatening. Be kind to everyone, not just those you think you may have an interest in. Try forcing yourself to go out daily and use it say as a sort of exercise....Practice on the gal at the donut shop, or say the lady at the bus stop or whoever is in the lineup with you. This will help you realize that all woman are not the same...Some may be receptive, some may not...But we are not aliens from another world, and have the same hopes, fears and problems that you have.
And lastly work on yourself....I've never been attracted to looks alone...There's gotta be something else there....A confidence, just the way the guy walks, the sound of the voice, believing in himself etc. And admittedly, I do steer clear of guys who seem to "fear" woman....It's like he has a huge neon sign over his head saying "stay away" :)

matts0344

replied on May 4th, 2006

New User

Same Here

Well, I can't really help you, because i'm pretty much in the same situation. Never had a real girlfriend, pretty bad at talking to girls, it makes me feel really lonely when I look at other couples.

But even if I could have a girlfriend I would be very awkward and not know what to do. Almost like I am not ready for one.

I thought maybe I would meet a girl in college or something, but i'm half way though (i'm 19 btw) and haven't met any that want to be any more than friends.

I think its my looks mainly, I think i'm not very good looking at all, not because of weight or anything, i'm just not a good looking man so theres really nothing I can do about that.

I'm not that depressed about this because my life is pretty busy and have a great social life with my friends just can never get a girl and i'm afraid I never will (like many guys in my situation).

Sorry I coulden't help you, wish I could, just thought i'd share my situation and let you know you are definitely not alone. I know many of my friends who are in my same situation.

thriller81

replied on May 8th, 2006

New User

If I dont get a girlfriend by the age of 30, im gonna get me a boyfriend,
:(

J L X

replied on June 17th, 2006

New User

Re: Never Even Had the Chance For Heartbreak

anon3432532532 wrote:

had to post this somewhere.

I'm 22 years old and ive never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a date, never kissed a girl, never held hands, I rarely even have conversations with girls. I feel so alone, and it just leads to depression, anger, bitterness. I can't enjoy myself anywhere anymore. I wen't to a concert for what has to be my favorite band ever, and the night was ruined for me because all I saw were couples holding each other - then it was depression and alcohol time. I can't enjoy myself anywhere where I might see a couple.

I feel so empty, like I wont be able to be happy ever. Every day I feel like this. I can't even talk to women. I feel like im a little kid every time i'm talking to a girl. I screw up my speech, im nervous. I have never to my knowlege had a girl interested in me - but I see so many jerks with girlfriends. I've known guys to cheat on their girlfriends but their girlfriends stay loyal. The worst scum of the world can be loved, why can't I be loved?

I won't do internet dating, I wont ask friends for help, I don't want pity, I dont want anyone coerced into trying to date me, I do not want to be set up by friends because they know i'm lonely. I'm getting to the point where i'm thinking 'if they dont want me, I dont want them.' but it still hurts so bad. My self esteem is complete garbage by now. I'm constantly nervous and uncomfortable because of this.

I dont know why im posting, it's not going to solve anything, but if anyone who has been in similar situations can say something helpful it might be nice.

man it feels good to finally read someone has the same problem except worse than me. Im in the same situation but im 18. Ive never kissed a girl, hugged or helds hands, or anything romantic. Its always lets just be friends.

I only have so much time, relationships are getting more mature as time goes on its like im missing out on the young carefree meaningless time.

I can relate to that feeling of seeing couples. Even though ive seen it already, it never fails to shock me seeing so many people in the park so naturally embracing as if it is just a normal part of life that they have always had.

In fact, when I walk home, there are two ways I either go shortcut through the park or I go around it. I usually go around it. Its tough going walking through that park. Its about as hard as it gets. Its hard in clubs also. Its hard hearing about casual fun which you are not part of. In fact the other day I heard about a guy I know two girls sharing him in a threesome. Nowadays at least in my society girls like this arent called sluts anymore just girls who like fun, which is good but the fun doesnt include me.

I wish I could be more grateful for what I have, but I dont believe nature programmed us to psychologically need materialistic possessions and an office job. It did however program us for needing relationships. We need to care for each other and evolve efficiently otherwise there would be a larger chance of dying out. The winner in a troubled upbringing with both his parents shot dead, is still better off than the loser brought up properly.

I can only imagine what its like being 22 and in the same situation.

thriller81

replied on June 17th, 2006

New User

I spent hours sitting at a park today just watching people while pretending I was writing stuff and 'fake talking' on the mobile phone.... Generally trying to look busy, while infact I had no one to call or talk with, and sooo bored out of my mind that I just wanted to watch other people,

after a couple of hours I got paranoid that people nearby were noticing id been sitting there for hours and started to feel like a looser, haha...

So I jumped in my car and went to another park, done exactly the same thing. There were some stunning looking people out there in the sun having fun,

as the sun began to set I feel as I usually do...Little angry, hungry, sad and tired

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