No Sex

50 years old is about the time many men lose their sex drives.

I dont realy know if that is true, 50yrs is not old,,and if that is the case then im assuming my husband has a problem,,,he's had no sex drive since he was in his 40's. Ive been trying to get him to talk to someone, a family member or the doctors but he wont ,,and doesnt want to talk to me about it and I realy dont know what to do to help him,,im afraid its medical.

While not all men will lose their sex drives by that age many (i believe nearly half) do, I am saying this with fair certainty. However you say that this has been going on for awhile. My best guess would be a low testosterone level which definitley affects a good number of men at that age. Hormone replacement therapy would then be an option, this would actually be nice because the problem can be fixed in no time once he is diagnosed. Since he doesn't want to talk to a doctor about it maybe you can take him in for a blood test and tell the doctor to do a hormonal analyses. It is not uncommon to have such a test done so even convincing him should not be a problem, his doctor can even suggest it because at his age it's good to have this done anyway. Once the results come in if its positive then you can show him on paper that he does indeed have a medical condition and that the problem can be easily remedied.

I really think getting a hormonal analyses done is your best bet but in the meantime i'd like to know a couple of things:
1. Did this happen suddenly or was it a gradual process?
2. How often did you have sex when you first met and what was his age then?
3. Has he ever had any such problems in the past even if for a short period of time?
4. Would you say he is in good shape and eating healthy? By this I don't mean a health freak but whether he has normal cholesteral or if he's slightly overweight.

Human, could you please share your resource for that information (most men lose their sex drive at age 50). I've never heard that before.

Edna, I think maybe your husband is embarrassed or afraid to go to the doctor? Maybe if you could show him somethings online (google) and he can see how this is a common problem that doctors see a lot (and help fix a lot) maybe he won't be so reluctant to go.

Human,....... My husband was 28 when I met him and I was 21. If I remember correctly it seemed like all of a sudden in 96, sex was fine and frequent before that.. He did injure his back at that time, and has let his weight become a problem, cholesteral had been high and is corrected my mediaction, for the pass 3 yrs he has kept his weight around 200lb, he is a tall man and he loves his junk food but does eat healthy. I didnt know they can can check for hormonal balance in men......I will check on that.

Elsa.......I do believe that he is embarrassed,,,,he doesnt like to be examined by any doctor. His brother has prostate cancer and if I hadnt told the doctors my husband wouldnt have gotten examined and had blood test done. The doctor tells me he is fine.....Ive told him about men having erectile disfuntion and that there is help for it...........He just doesnt want to hear about it..............

Thank you both for helping ,,,,
edna

Never said most men I said many men there is a difference. I choose my words carefully so i'd request that you read them carefully. While I won't look this up for you as I have done this a long time ago i'll post this quick little quote

unfortunately, a man's age does play a role in his desire for sexual intimacy or activity. As men age, they start to experience a drop in key androgens in their body, which may affect their energy level and sex drive. There is also a possibility that there has been a decrease in your body's testosterone production. Getting older also means that your body is experiencing a host of other changes. Changes in physical appearance can decrease confidence in your ability to sexually arouse your partner. As well, the changes in your sexual partner's physical appearance may make you less sexually attracted to her.

Older men also tend to suffer from impotence more often, which can make the prospect of having sex more uncomfortable. Moreover, it is not uncommon for men who suffer from impotence to experience a decrease in sex drive.

Alex santoso, ph.D. & hanita ina, md

anyway i'm shocked you didn't know mens libidos go down with age that should pretty much be common knowledge. For further information just search through the internet or easier yet call your local urologist and just ask him he'll tell you.
So edina maybe your husband won't speak to a doctor but you sure can and I implore that you do at least that. It kills me to see such a situation because there are many options to treat these problems and their not even that complicated (in many cases an oral pill). It would be a shame if your marriage has to continue suffering like this because of simple emotions.

Hi there human........I do know that men libidos goes down with age and that its pretty much commom knowledge.... My husband does not fit the description of an old man,,he is very much the energetic, young looking, sane person I know,, that is why I dont believe its an aging problem....But I didnt know about any blood test for men to know about their level of hormones.......Ive always placed it for women when they reach menopause. Im not a fan of any type of hormone replacement and I doubts that my husband would be either especially when there is prostate cancer concerns in his family. With that said I got my husband for blood test this morning and results next week...

Again thank you,
edna

Hahahahahaha when I say old I don't mean old slow and senile but I can see how it seemed that way from my post. Hormone replacement was just an example I gave, there are a myriad of different treatments depending on what he is diagnosed with. I just wanted you to know that there are plenty of options and being idle would just be a shame. I'm so glad you got the blood test already in the least it will make you feel like your doing something about the problem. Anyway I hope everything turns out allright for you and if you have the time it would be great if you came back and posted a quick update.

Hello,,just an update....My hubby had his blood test done...Waited for results.....Went to see doctor but prefered to see him alone...I respect that cause he might have had something else to tell him and felt more comfortable with me not being there.....He explained to me about test results..Doctor told him that with the blood test alone it was difficult to tell his level of testerosterone because he had never had the test done before and the level is different for each man...So it was hard to know if his testosterone level are low. Doctor however asked him question and from his answer felt that it could be because of stress..... He also mentioned something about andropause and how my husband's symptoms were not noticed before because its a gradual decline of hormone levels that do begin at the age of 35. He is sending him to see a urologist. My hubby is also greatfull for my pushing this because he realy wanted to know what is wrong but didnt know what to do or go about doing something about it. We have discuss the hrt and that the risks of him taking them are to high, so we both chose not having him take them. So thank you for your help......Greatly appreciated

edna

Thanks for the update, just keep at it and hopefully the doctor will come up with something. Good luck.