Stormy,

you admit that you are oerweight, but you also said that your bf loves you just as you are, and his parents accept you just as you are. You should concentrate on that while at dinner.

Does your bf know how stressed you are? Ask him to give you a hand with handlint this with you. He will stand by you and help you through the dinner. Trust him, or try to. It might turn out to be fun.

Good advice and I do trust my bf . I just am not comfortable with new people, although I do work with the public. Thats just different. I need to focus on something. Maybe deep breathing might help oh man im such a stressed out person. He says worry is my middle name!!! Haha

Good show. Focus on your bf, and think about the love you have between you. With this as your focus you can receive two benefits, reduced stress and great thoughts of love. Who is better than you.

I do expect a reply on monday. Focus - focus - focus

Will give u the results on monday or tuesday gotta go to my parents on monday oh goody! Kinda nervous bout that to but no as nervous!


Thanks for your support!

I also got very excited in public situation especially public speaking. I almost quit my job. It is difficult for me to control it. Does anyone know some good herb/medication/ to calm you down when you need to give a speach. I think I need something strong. Appreciate your help?

Hey, I was there when I first started out in my career. I went from material control to marketing because I was "bored". Well, I didn't think the requirments was to speak in public.

Before I gave my first presentation in front of the management team (4 people), I threw up from the night before up until I walked into the confernece room. White as a sheet, bags under my eyes, knees knocking together (am I painting a good picture for you yet). I stumbled and stuttered my words out even though I knew them like the alphabet. When it was over, I hugged the toilet like it was the only love I had in my life.

From there, I learned how to deal with my feelings. I had to because this was going to be a part of my life for the rest of my career. This is what I learned:

1. You are the expert. If not, you wouldn't be standing there.

2. Perpare. Not only on the topic you are covering, but also try to get others to give you ideas of what type of questions might be asked and prepare.

3. Look good. Internal confidence builder. If you think you look good, your confidence level raises 500%.

4. Humble. If someone asks you a question out of the blue and you don't know the answer, it is not a sin to say that, and don't appologize. Take their name and number and when you get the answer, you will get back with them. (if others in the crowd ask for you to get back wtih them, pass a sheet around asking them to put their phone or email address on it, and you will get back with them)

5. Defuse confrontations quickly. This is tough, but you are in control, not them. If you feel that they are out of control, they are invading on your territory. Shut them up or move on.

6. Gratitude. Thank your audience for their attention. They were patient with you, and you hopefully gave them something that interested them.

It took me about a year to develop a form or comfort. It took me another year to build the anti-fear factor to talk in front of 20 people. It took me another year to be able to speak in an auditorium (100 ). After that, give me a microphone and I will talk about anything that I believe in to as many people as you want. The key words are "anything that I believe in".

It is not how many people you speak to, it is the message you are trying to get across. If you believe in it, you can say anything to any number of people.

Most importantly - no medication - just determination and realization, this is what I have to do for a living.

Soap box has left the building.

Thank you very much for your reply. That's exactly how I feel (trembling, shaking, fear, rubbery legs and more). However, my problem is that I have confidence and that I know the subject. I am not afraid that I am not gonna know to answer the questions or so, I am just too obsessed with my fright stage and the only thing I think about is :“ god, people will see that my voice is shattering, I am trembling....”. So, it is not like usual that I dont have confidence but 98% of the time I think about this fear or you call it. I know I need to work on it,but when you are at this stage you really think that you need something to relax you and keep you so until you get used to. Thats terrible feeling, and it really ruins your life. I am happy there are people here who share the same problems and we will find the solution. Once I was thinking lets get up and tell them hey I have public speaking problem-social phobia, and see how I would behave then.

Sometimes being honest and open is the best policy, if you know your audience. Repetition was my only method I used. That was before the time of medication for relaxing. I have to say, it was great for my weight control, but not on my nervous system.

My voice shook and cracked often and to top it all off, I was a profuse sweater, so there was not way of hiding the fact I was nervous. Not a pretty sight.

You might want to talk to your doctor to see if he would recommend anything. I am not aware of anything otc. Make sure it will not have the reverse effect and hit you too hard where your relaxed state effects your presentation or become addictive.

If I find out anything else, I will let you know.

All went well... Stayed calm. Ate dinner and stayed quiet but did well over all. Thanks 4 your replys!