Your not a bad person, just a mixed up person. Unless your children are adult age there's no excuse for emotionally abandoning them. They need their mom, if not in the same household, very close by...To visit and share their lives with.
That's part of what's going on in my life...I have children and my bf has children from previous relationships. Sometimes he blows me off cause he has to spend time with them....And this is more than okay with me....I won't respect him otherwise. I feel you cannot make children and then say"okay fend for yourself". My ex is there in body, but very emotionally neglectful....And i'll have absolutely nothing to do with anyone who doesn't fulfill their duty, responsibility and gifts from above. You may think they are in good hands with your ex, but he's the dad....Kids need their mom.......I'm 43 and I still want my mommy. :)