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What Makes You Purge?

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deathx

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Posts: 118
What Makes You Purge?
Posted: 04-09-06 19:41pm

Hi all,

for all those bullemics out there, myself included, i'm wanting to ask what brings on a binging session for you?

I'm trying to figure it out why I do it. I know when my mood is low, I eat for comfort then lose control, eat more and throw up. Right now, i'm planning on ordering a family sized pizza with fries, coleslaw and coke for my lunch tomorow and I know i'm gunna throw it up. That isn't because i'm in a bad mood, thats because i'm a goddamn wreck with food I guess and have no control. Its driving me nuts!

Blah.

And you?
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mshanson

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004
Posts: 102
Location: California

Posted: 04-09-06 20:18pm

I was bulimic for over ten years & the answer to your question changed every day, maybe even every meal. I would binge&purge when I felt...Fat sad angry lonely happy bored excited hungry full jealous scared safe...Any emotion, or even just emotionless depression, was an excuse. After a few years I didn't even know how to eat a normal meal anymore, I would just automatically throw up anything I ate. The bad news is that this wasted so much of my young life (along with lots of money) & landed me in the hospital on a feeding tube. The good news is that I am no longer bulimic ~ not only do I no longer binge and purge, but I don't even want to or wish I could. Sure, I still have those emotions, but now I know that food is not the solution. You can recover too. It takes time & patience & lots of work, but you don't have to stay in that hell. Please try to get help & help yourself as soon a s you can. Believe me, life is so much better without bingeing!!!

Oh, & feel free to email me if you want more support privately ~ ms.Hanso n@email.Com. Good luck!!!!
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inezrina

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Oct 2005
Posts: 174

Posted: 04-09-06 21:04pm

Hey well the reasons I binge and purge change too but there r some consistent triggers for me.
-feeling lonely
-feeling insecure
-inadequate
-horny
-alone
-bored
-seeing someone eat less than me
-not being the best
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akalei

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Apr 2006
Posts: 1
Location: Alberta

Posted: 04-10-06 00:12am

For me im still not 100% sure what the reason is. I know what the most of it is and that is the feeling of being not good enough...Etc.
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christa84

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2006
Posts: 61
Location: FL

Posted: 04-10-06 00:20am

For me it's because I feel fat, or i've binged because I was depressed, or stressed, or both, or because I feel like i'm not good enough and that's my way of self punishment..
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v00d00cita

Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4

Posted: 04-10-06 05:42am

I started to binge/purge when I had overeaten, so that would be my number one reason - overeating or eating things that I didn't want to.
Then, because of that, i'd feel fat, sad, angry with myself, stressed, depressed and felt like I was the worst person in the whole world. Those became reasons for me to do that.
But, then again, it just became a parte of my routine, either I felt bored, excited, if I missed the gym, if I could fit in a small size, etc.
It'd would be a way, as some of you referred, of self-punishment.
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AshGracie

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Posts: 7

Posted: 04-27-06 03:30am

I have had an eating disorder for as long as I can remember. I was an elite level gymnast when I was younger, and as you all probably know, the coaches encouraged us to be as skinny and unhealthy as possible (in not so many words of course). I used to just barely eat anything, but it was hard. I thought about it 24 hours a day, I was always tired, and always hungry. I knew I couldn't keep up that way of life for long. One day my roommate mentioned that she would throw up on purpose when she drank too much alcohol. One thing led to the next, and I thought how cool it would be if I could eat something and then throw it up. Pretty soon I was eating on purpose and throwing up on purpose. I think the whole reason I started binging and purging resulted from a lifetime of literally starving. By the time the novelty of the whole thing had worn off, my new way of life had become habit. I tried to quit, but it's like smoking or taking a drug...It's near to impossible to just up and quit. So my long-winded answer to the question would be: first out of habit, and second from any emotion whatsoever (happy, sad, lonely, excited, bored, tired, you name it). Glad to know i'm not alone in the quest to be healthy!!!
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v00d00cita

Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006
Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4

Posted: 04-27-06 04:26am

Nope, you are not alone.
But quitting is possible, this is my 16th zero-day in a row again if I make it! \o/ the best i've done was a 17, but then I threw it away. But i'm confident that i'll make it again or maybe more days!

Ashgracie, you can also do it :) **
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