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questions101

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2006
Posts: 1
Sex Drive
Posted: 04-09-06 13:56pm

I have been with my fiance for almost 3 years, we have been living together for most of that time. We didn't have sex for just over a year of our relationship although we did other things and our sex life was great. We started having sex but it was always slightly painful for me, it felt as though he was just too big. Anyway we don't really have that much sex because it is painful to do so for me. He doesn't care that we don't have sex which is nice but I care, and I would like him to have more of an interest in sex. We can do other things like we use to in the begining of our relationship but he just doesn't seem to have a sex drive. He wants to fool around about 1 time a month at best! I'll admit I don't have a big sex drive either but it isn't that low and furthermore I need that intimacy and connection. He is, after all, suppose to be my lover. It just feels like there is no chemistry between us at all. That use to not be the case but it has been almost a year since I feel like we have had a normal sex life. There is just no sparks or chemistry. We are getting married in a few months, I have no doubts about it I know I want to be with him but I am really concerned that this could become a big issue. What normal couples don't have a sex life? I don't want to end up in a marraige where we are sleeping in separate bedrooms. Is this a red flag? I don't want to be looking back divorced 10 years from now thinking "well, the signs were there that it wasn't right". We have so much between us and I would do anything to make it work but he just seems like he doesn't want sex (or any fooling around) and he doesn't care that we dont' have sex (or any fooling around). It is truly like he is indifferent to sex and whether or not he gets it. Could this be a hormonal imbalance? Should I ask him to see a dr? Is that rude to ask someone? Could it be something else? What could be the problem?
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asher

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Apr 2006
Posts: 32
Location: pakistan
Re: Sex Drive
Posted: 04-09-06 18:46pm

questions101 wrote:
i have been with my fiance for almost 3 years, we have been living together for most of that time. We didn't have sex for just over a year of our relationship although we did other things and our sex life was great. We started having sex but it was always slightly painful for me, it felt as though he was just too big. Anyway we don't really have that much sex because it is painful to do so for me. He doesn't care that we don't have sex which is nice but I care, and I would like him to have more of an interest in sex. We can do other things like we use to in the begining of our relationship but he just doesn't seem to have a sex drive. He wants to fool around about 1 time a month at best! I'll admit I don't have a big sex drive either but it isn't that low and furthermore I need that intimacy and connection. He is, after all, suppose to be my lover. It just feels like there is no chemistry between us at all. That use to not be the case but it has been almost a year since I feel like we have had a normal sex life. There is just no sparks or chemistry. We are getting married in a few months, I have no doubts about it I know I want to be with him but I am really concerned that this could become a big issue. What normal couples don't have a sex life? I don't want to end up in a marraige where we are sleeping in separate bedrooms. Is this a red flag? I don't want to be looking back divorced 10 years from now thinking "well, the signs were there that it wasn't right". We have so much between us and I would do anything to make it work but he just seems like he doesn't want sex (or any fooling around) and he doesn't care that we dont' have sex (or any fooling around). It is truly like he is indifferent to sex and whether or not he gets it. Could this be a hormonal imbalance? Should I ask him to see a dr? Is that rude to ask someone? Could it be something else? What could be the problem?


hi its important to know b4 u get into it becas in married lif sex built a bound between two partner 4 more discussions I sent u personnal mesg & gave u my id contact me on that
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Human

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2005
Posts: 89

Posted: 04-11-06 11:46am

Well if your concerned a hormonal inmbalance would cause loss of sex drive but you said it wasn't like that before so its not likely. Does he masterbate? Frankly i'm not even sure how its possible to have sex once a month.
Honestly though if having sex with my girlfriend just caused her pain it would probably be a huge turn off for me. Initially I wouldn't care but then after awhile i'm sure it'll make me want to have a lot less sex with her.
Have you guys tried lubrication?
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