My husband plays online games for 12 hours at a time on weekends ,and on weeknights 4 hours a night.He is so addicted our marriage is failing,i would be happy to hear from anyone with the same proplem .
I feel ya, and sadly, I must admit that I may be in the chain responsible for such a case. I used to run a world of warcraft server, and have seen first hand the amount of people that spend ungodly hours in game.
My brothers health is going to the crapper because of his computer addiction, and it is a serious problem. I know a lot of people don't put much stock into "compu-ddiction" but it is serious. I read an article about a girl who's body slowly deteriorated over time because she would rarely eat, drink, or sleep due to not wanting to leave the game world.
I would suggest a good sit down and "intervention" if you will. If you love him, you will see that this is affecting him as much as yourself. It's not good for your health, to ignore life's duties.
I literally had to fire a guy working for me on the site after getting a letter from a wife much in your position, and suggested he seek counselling.
You need to stand by him, and hope he can choose you over the virtual world, and seriously....He needs to *want* to change to make a change...Without that, there isn't much you can do for him.
My husband has been addicted to final fantasy online for 3 years now. He is on monday - sunday 8 am - 4 am thats right 20 hours a day. Sometimes only 15 hours a day. He lost his job two months ago, so this is all he does. He was out of work for 5 months last year. If I ask him to help with something or the kids he says "i can't I just started a party". He is 41 years old! We have been married for 20 years this year and I am at my wits end. I work and just started an at home business to make up money from him being out of work. He doesn't see it as a problem, he says it is an escape. Escape from what, you don't do anything! He tells me stories about his "friends" online and I don't care! I care about our kids, work, and the house. He rolls out of bed, goes online, sometimes gets dressed, mostly doesn't. Help! He has so much potential - but his world is the game. How can I help someone that doesn't see a problem? I even tried to be in his world, I played the game for a month, yes it was fun for a few weeks; an hour or two a day. Than I was bored and cancelled it. I am the only one trying here. Please help! Kittyrobb
My boyfriend loves playing this online game called everquest 2. He has played it every since I have met him. It is a daily thing. But instead of getting mad, I learned to play the game. We enjoy playing together. In the town we live in most people our age 18&19 just do drugs. This is a small town. And the game only costs 15 dollars a month for a subscription.Sometimes I get annoyed with him playing and wished we would do other things but then again I realize how much I enjoy playing and having experinced with him on eq. We have also met several people on this game. And there are couples just like us who like to play. I mean things could be worse try to think of it as a positive thats the way I look at it. I rather be with him doing something on a game than spending hours !**@! him out because he isn't paying attention to me. But these are just my thoughts. :)
My husband is addicted to Everquest 2. Its ironic that the game is how I met him. I stopped playing shortly after we moved in together, I was only playing so much because it was the only way to "spend time" with him. Anyways, he plays everyday and almost every night. It affects his studying and his sleep. I go to bed alone most of the week and we have only been married 7 months! Its so bad that when he got a new job that required him to work in the evening, he spent $50 to change servers so he would still be able to raid... til 2AM five times a week. He even passes up sex because he has to "raid". I have talked to him about this several times, sometimes sobbing, but the reply is always the same, "it's just my hobby". He says that there isnt anything else to do, so why shouldnt he not be able to play his game. The problem is that I dont know what to suggest for him to do otherwise! He doesnt enjoy watching tv or movies. Does anyone have any suggestions???
it started about 4 years ago everyday and everynight sometimes litterally 24/7 oh i moaned cried threatened to leave ive done it all then he went to a game called second life this game was much more my thing so i went too but after a couple of years he got bored and left and then suddenly he wanted to spend time with me! 3 and a half years down the line lol.But i was very into second life by this time so now it was my turn to say no! and he went mad haha saying ok we'll split how can you love me if you dont spend time with me all the things i had been saying for 4 years!!!! it was laughable though (which didnt please him much )Anyway i held out for about a month kept playing but then i gave it up all was great for about 2 months then what does he end up playing again Quake 3 arena!! which i cannot stand so i now accept the fact that im a quake 3 widow i dont even moan anymore its just not worth the hassle and he does come to bed most of the time and we do talk alot as i made him move pc down stairs so we would at least be in the same room this helped alot!
What it comes down to is having a healthy balance. To play online games, is simply entertainment. When the addict becomes fully integrated with the game, they tend to lose sense of reality.
I, myself, have also suffered through this. I've lost the woman of my dreams and missed out on many social occasions. The addict with make excuses for themselves.
"I am socializing with people online."
"There are no decent people in real life to talk to"
"It is my escape"
"I deserve this"
What it comes down to a loss of reality. What I started doing was actually talking with older adults on the game whom described their struggle to limit the amount of game play and how they established 'boundaries' with their wife/husband.
Prioritization gets lost in the world of online gaming. The addict forgets that the game is really the least important thing going on. I great respect for all of you whom are struggling with a significant other and trying to help them see the light. I would encourage getting them outside of the house and getting more involved in the real world. Going to the park or doing something with nature would be highly recommended. This will help demonstrate that there is a real world out there. One with wind, plants, animals, trails, sun, and life!
A big part of the problem is also that they make it their hobby. Try to get them involved in something else. Ex a church group, running, volunteering, playing basketball, etc.
My best advise would also to set a time everyday that you both sit down without any distractions. No TV, radio, computer etc. Just the two of you to talk about how your day went, how life is, etc. The meaning of this is to check in on one another. NOT TO ATTACK ONE ANOTHER. Instead, use the terms "I FEEL" to express how you may be. Trust me... it goes a long way.