I would suggest getting different meds and seeking help. Remember you are not alone, please think about what suicide means. You dont really want to give up on life do you? This may very well be the only life you ever have. As i've always said to myself, if I ever feel truely suicidal I need to just start over, run away, whatever. I know some anomymous person on the internet really doesnt matter, but no one wants to see someone give up. I've been battling depression for many years now, you need to be vigilant, try to find small things to make you happy. What gets me up in the morning, is the beauty all around, the sky the trees, birds, the ocean, basically nature in its self. I can not imagine giving that all up, because someone did me harm in the past. Than they won, you cant let them win, youre better than this person that raped you, far better. I really do recommend seeing a doctor to try different medication, theyre all different just because one doesnt work doesnt mean they all wont work. I've been on 4 different meds over the years and finally settled on wellbutrin, though that doesnt mean itll work for you, but something will, dont give up. If you need someone to talk to, i'm here, I cant guarantee I always will be, but I will definetely try.
Goodluck to you, and please dont do anything stupid, nor let your mate do the same, it isnt worth it.
~silver