Teen Pregnancy Forum - Ttc After a Month?

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Q: Ttc After a Month?

asked by: Carrie-Lucie on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

My son dil passed away on the 11th of march and I was wondering if you guys thought it was too early to be thinking about trying to conceive? (i am 16) I miss him so badly, he died after a short battle because he was a very ill preemie.

I'm worried I will be having this baby for the wrong reasons, but I know I could never replace dil so that's not what it is. I am in a good space at the moment, after he died I wasnt but now I am coming to terms with it. Pain never goes away but it gets easier. I want him back, but I cant have him back so maybe another baby would help...

I want a baby - dil was an accident, but he was the best accident in my life. Would I ever be able to love another child as much as him? We were going to adopt two russian twins called anton and dmitry but I am too young and we thought it would be ok for my boyfriend (who is 21) to adopt them and then for me to co-sign later on, but the authorities arent keen on this idea and we lost the boys. A second blow. The house seems so sad without a child, we have all the kids stuff up and the nursery is ready for a baby but there is none to go in it.

Wow, sorry this is a long post.

Replies(37)

Jennie25

replied on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

Hun, you and your hubby are the ones that have to make that decision, nnot us. Lots of people will tell you to wait, you're too young..Etc...But you know what you can take on right now in your life so its up to the two of you. Look deep in your heart and make sure that you aren't just trying to fill a void, that you genuinly want a child at this point in your life.

Good luck, hun

Rodge

replied on April 4th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

You have to want a baby because you want that individual baby, not to ease the pain of your son's death. Wait until you can say to yourself 'i want a baby' without instantly thinking of .Dylan and how another child might make things easier.

I hope the above was coherent. I'm very sorry about .Dil.

prettygirlygirl

replied on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

I am so sorry for your loss. Physically you should wait one cycle after a loss to start ttc, but emotionally I would think one would want to wait longer.

You are so young, you have all the time in the world to have a child. Why not wait a little while, fully heal from your loss, and then play things by ear in a little while.

I wish you all the best, and a healthy, completely uneventful pregnancy when the time comes.

AlliE_18

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Are you crazy? You're only 16 and you actually want to get knocked up and be tied down for the next 18 years? Why dont you get out in the real world live it up, have fun enjoy being a teenager? Hell i'd be doing that if I wasnt stuck at home with a baby needing me every 5 minutes and im 17.

Dont you want to go to college get a good education so you have qualifications to get a well payed job in the future, so you can support him/her? Maybe your boyfriend/hubby has a good job but what if you split up at some point, then you'll be in some crummy dead end shop job on low money working so many hours you wont even have much time to see your child grow up.

Theres more to life than having kids.

Rodge

replied on April 4th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

allie_18 wrote:

are you crazy? You're only 16 and you actually want to get knocked up and be tied down for the next 18 years? Why dont you get out in the real world live it up, have fun enjoy being a teenager? Hell i'd be doing that if I wasnt stuck at home with a baby needing me every 5 minutes and im 17.

Dont you want to go to college get a good education so you have qualifications to get a well payed job in the future, so you can support him/her? Maybe your boyfriend/hubby has a good job but what if you split up at some point, then you'll be in some crummy dead end shop job on low money working so many hours you wont even have much time to see your child grow up.

Theres more to life than having kids.

okay!

diamondsz

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

If you have a child now you are having it for the wrong reason(maybe subconciosly a replacemnet for dillian) hun I would honestly wait a few months grieve properly for your son. Carrie im just trying to be honest you are still so young enjoy the time you and you spouse have together, you guys need to get back into reality without forgetting about what you had already.

Things will always be rough and I could never understand what it feels like to loose a living being but I will say wait abit for your sanity and for your body to properly heal itself from the birth of dill.

Take care!!!!!

Jennie25

replied on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

allie_18 wrote:

shut up!

AlliE_18

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Make me health forum

Jennie25

replied on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

allie_18 wrote:

make me health forum

lol
nah..You add comic relief here
why don't you make up another story for us all to enjoy =)

AlliE_18

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

I have a better idea. You go out and get a life and experience real fun, rather than a teen mum on a health forum being your only source of entertainment. Thats so sad, really. Haha :roll:

HcoBrunette06

replied on April 4th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Haha you tried rodge :wink:

allie just hush, I apologized to you yesterday for the way I was talking to you, but you're trying to start fights on every thread that's posted, just stop.

AlliE_18

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

Hco im not trying to start fights. Jen and sam are going on and on about crap that should have been over with by now. Move on people!!! Yep.

SamanthaM

replied on April 4th, 2006

Supporter

allie_18 wrote:

hco im not trying to start fights. Jen and sam are going on and on about crap that should have been over with by now. Move on people!!! Yep.

party!!! Whooooooooooo

Jennie25

replied on April 4th, 2006

Experienced User

samantham wrote:

allie_18 wrote:

hco im not trying to start fights. Jen and sam are going on and on about crap that should have been over with by now. Move on people!!! Yep.

party!!! Whooooooooooo

*turns up music*
party?! Lets get waaaaassssssttttttteeeeddddddd

AlliE_18

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

lmao! Oh you girls make me laugh!

michelle1981

replied on April 4th, 2006

Supporter

Carrie-lucie

I understand how you feel in a sense.

Nothing will ever replace the love you have for your son----nothing! Not even a new baby!

If you decide to have another, please do it because you're ready to start over, and not because you long for dylan. He will always be with you----in your heart!

Best of luck!

SamanthaM

replied on April 4th, 2006

Supporter

allie_18 wrote:

lmao! Oh you girls make me laugh!

i'm so touched. lmao!

HcoBrunette06

replied on April 4th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

It's not just in this post, it's also in the posts of the 19 year old mom, yeah I forgot her name lol you just started bashing her and you don't even know her, it's olllddddd.

I wanna party

DaliciaLynn

replied on April 4th, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

allie_18 wrote:

you're the worst mother...

Ever.............

12 >>

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