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Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > Women Plz Help Me Out.
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Q: Women Plz Help Me Out.
asked by: ryan1987 on April 1st, 2006
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Ive been with this girl for a year and 4 minths, around dec of this yea she tole me that she needed a brek cuz she felt stressed out and pressured to ss me every night,after a month the break was over but I felt it was down to me and not her, cuz I didnt realy give her anyspace I was so depressed I just kept calling her saying I luv u n stuff, expecting to hear the majic words, anyway this past four months she has never been the same, and I argue with her cuz she is so distant, now I realise I was being to demanding and pressuring her, eventually after I said do you just wana break up(i didnt realy I was judt wanting to see how she feels like normal) she broke it off, she said she had enough of the moaning and huffing, I have just added to much pressure, I am so depressed and lost right now, and I dont no what to do. She said to give her a few weeks then see how she feels, but I fear that over that seperation she will grow futher away, I have promised her id change and wuldnt argue with her no more, but she says she just dosent want it, I think theres alot of pressure there allready with her exams and stuff coming up cause she always wants to do her best, so I think there was to much weight at that time to carry, she said she dsnt love me nomore and that she is sick of me and the fighting, that she actually dreaded going to see me, cuz she new I would always fight,,

bassically the reason I did fight was becuz I never seen her and never really new where I stood, so it just added stress to me,

now I am so heart broken, and I dont no what to do to get her back, I fear that if I stay away for a while she will just dissaper, but if I harrass her she will move futher away. I dnt no, at this moment (2days after the break up) she is so happy, her best friend told me, but her mum said to me she is just confused and needs the space, build a friendship again, but I just dont no. What shuld I do?
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Spirit
replied on April 1st, 2006
Experienced User
When a man or a woman says, "i need time off to think", it's probably not a good sign. I've said it before and I meant it. It means your stressing her out, and instead of alleivating her stress, your adding to it.

Not to say the relationship is over, but it is absolutely necessary that you give her "the time off". Pressuring, calling, emailing will just push her further away.

To me, at least, a needy and depressed person will add nothing to a relationship. And if that person keeps calling it starts to make me fear for my life and question that persons sanity.

If this relationship doesn't work....So be it....Fix yourself...And move on. :)
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ryan1987
replied on April 1st, 2006
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Yea,
Ok so do you think that if I just leave her be, she could heal and then want to get back, I just dont no what to do, is there anyway I could show her we are still in love but she just dont no it now, like make her have a moment or something where she realizes shes still in love and stuff, I want to be affectionate and show her I love her, but I dont want her to disappear completely, I spoke to her earlier and she was saying at this moment in time I dont want to get back and I dont no if I ever will, just wait and see,, I was speaking to her best friend and she said that its doing her head in you acting like yous are still together and stuff, her friend says she thinks now she is over you, but her mum said to me she thinks that all the pressure shes under is clouding her mind, she says shes probly happy use are broken up now because the relief of the pressure and stress being lifted, and that in a few weeks it could die down, but I duno, I just really want to no what to do. :cry:


(pressure from exams, and when we were together the last few months I kept asking to see her and argued alot like everyday we spoke ,cuz I didnt feel luved n stuff, so I kept pushing her away,)
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Spirit
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Experienced User
I'd give her the few weeks she requested, and then from there start slowly and see what happens. I received a simple note from my beau, and all it said was "i love you, babes!!!"....That was 5 years ago, and I still have it.

The turn-out will all depend on whether she reciprocates your feelings, and take care not to over do it, as simple things like that can be misunderstood as stalking behaviour.

Cut out the "middle-men", ie the friend and mother(they're just giving you confusing and conflicting information anyway), and go directly to the ex girlfriend. Plan a meeting, don't argue, talk maturely and respectfully and see if you can both come to an understanding.

And don't worry if the relationship is over.....My first love left me in tears also......Now I wouldn't even recognize him if he walked past me on the street. :)
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ryan1987
replied on April 2nd, 2006
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Thanks, has anyones experienced this with there own boyfriend, if so what could he have done to save it?, :roll:
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ryan1987
replied on April 5th, 2006
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ryan1987 wrote:
thanks, has anyones experienced this with there own boyfriend, if so what could he have done to save it?, :roll:



plz guysssssss
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Melissa_20
replied on April 7th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
He shouldn't be all up my a$$ and always .A.L.W.A.Y.S wanting to be with me and asking me if everything is ok,and whats wrong. . .It's fine sometimes but after a while it gets real old.He should have just taken a chill pill!
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