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Q: Young Moms
asked by: AshBoBash on March 31st, 2006
Experienced User
I know i'm gonna be a young mom. But I was raised in a very respectful family. One of the only times I heard my mom say a cuss word was when I told her I was pregnant. My familys very affectionate. We have dinners at the table and talk about what we did during the day. I help my mom cook too~ speaking of that i'm getting hungry lol
i still coddle to my dad when we watch tv at night. When I have a problem, or anyone in my family does, its discussed calmly. Everyone gets to put thier side in it then all sides are discussed until we come up wit h a solution. Like when it came up that i'm pregnant.
I'm gonna be a young mom, yeh, but my baby is gonna be coming into a nitch-close damn good family that loves and cares about each other.
I'm not gonna skip out on school or college, I already have the money for college in a savings account. When next school year starts, i'm gonna start right along with everyone else like I hadn't missed half this year.
I have been wild in the past, yeh maybe I got wild at a younger age than some, but so what. I've realized my mistakes now and now I accept whats been served to me.

So whenever dalicia or whoever on here says what a terrible life my baby is gonna have its just proving thier ignorance to the situation. I dont have to say cuss words at them or insult them. And I think its pretty dumb thats the only way she can try and get her point across, is tossing insults to the extent where the reason for whatever she was saying in the first place is lost. Thats what I see 7 and 8 year olds do. Disagree on somethng then calls names back and forth until they forget what they were arguing about in the first place. I'm not on that level.

Sure i'm gonna be a 14 year old mom. But im a overcomer, and I have learned and am still learning for this. I hope one day that i'll be able to reach out to young girls in similar situations and share my experience and show them that taking responsibilites for your mistakes doesnt mean giving up everything in life and just spiraling downward from there. It means being strong and coming out stronger.

Maybe dalicia dont feel she learned anything she could share in a productive way. But I have.
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HcoBrunette06
replied on March 31st, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I've always felt that you're being strong, like telling your mom right after you found out, I don't know where you got the guts for that lol but even though you are young i'm glad you're taking responsibility, good luck with baby .Teagan! (or teegan :p)
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DaliciaLynn
replied on March 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I never said you're baby is going to have an awful life, I just know you don't know what's coming when you have the baby.

You're almost 14, it makes me wonder if you're mom is going to help you take care of the baby because you're going to school, i'm sorry ash but I have no respect for any woman that gets pregnant, even on accident and doesn't take full responsibility for their actions.

You don't have a job, because you're only 14. So who's paying for diapers & such? You're babies dad? Where would he get the money, from his mom?

I have nothing against you, as i've been there before, but I have to be hard on you, and you'll know why after you have the baby.

I just hope you get it the easy way out, because I can't begin to explain to you how hard taking care of a baby actually is.

Sure, maybe you can do you're schoolwork when the baby has naps, but i'll tell you what. The naps aren't all that long!!

Not everybody has a family like you do, some of the girls on here have it hard, as in getting kicked out while they're pregnant & such. I just think you shouldn't talk about how you're life with the baby will be until she actually gets here.

Again, I don't have anything against you, I think you're really mature for you're age, but it's easy to talk about her and what you'll do, how you'll finish school but the hard part is actually doing it.

And I really hope you do.
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AshBoBash
replied on March 31st, 2006
Experienced User
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Lol I wouldn't of been able to keep it a secret anyways. As soon as I got out of the bathroom and met her in the grocery line I guess I just looked sick or something cause she asked if I was feeling ok
for me its harder to imagine keeping a secret like that I know some girls say they don't tell thier parents for like weeks and weeks!! I told my mom on the way home from the store lol
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DaliciaLynn
replied on March 31st, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
My mom sat in the bathroom with me while I peed on the stick!!

Talk about sharing an experience.

Haha!
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AshBoBash
replied on March 31st, 2006
Experienced User
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Quote:
you don't have a job, because you're only 14. So who's paying for diapers & such? You're babies dad? Where would he get the money, from his mom?


no he's 15 and he's been going to work some with his dad on the weekends and one weekday. So he's been giving my parents most of his money
that was one of the things we talked about when my family and his family got together to talk about whats gonna happen
i can't get a job till i'm 15. He turned 15 in december. I mean I know it wont pay for everything but thats what we've bought the babies stuff with so far. And some of its saved.
Not all moms work and thier husbands pay for everything. I know thats a different situation but in a way its the same, I don't work and he is paying for the babies things and there is a 15 dollar co-pay when I go for prenatal appointments. But I dont know how much of the hospital its gonna cover. Iknow his money isn't gonna cover everything. But he is doing his part. Or to the best of his ability.

Both of my parents work during the day so neither one of them will watch the baby when i'm in school. So far the plan is a nanny from our church is gonna be the nanny for when i'm in school and they are at work.
There are women who are parents who go to work and have a daycare or a nanny that watches thier baby during the day. It'll be kinda the same for me except i'll be going to school instead of work.

The baby is gonna be in my room theres already a spot where the crib is gonna be at. So I will be up at night.
I know its easy for me to say that i'll keep up good marks in school and taking care of my baby and etc. But i'd rather be positive abotu it than be like 'oh man this is gonna be terrible i'm only 14 and I gotta raise a baby and go to school oh god plz pity me'. So i'd rather be positive about it. I mean I do freak out some nights wondering how i'm gonna do it. But I feel a lot better when I remind myself that im gonna have to keep my head up and just take it for what it is and as it comes. You know.
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HcoBrunette06
replied on March 31st, 2006
Especially eHealthy
See! Like I said, really strong, that's why I respect you. You're young so of course you're going to have to have some help, even adults need help sometimes and I don't think theres anything wrong with asking for help when you absolutely need it, I think you're going to do a good job and i'm not trying to kiss ass or anything lol

wow d sounds like you two are close :p i'm a freak, I can't go to the bathroom when people are in there with me, never have been able to. I don't even go to the bathroom at school because I worry someone will walk in and I won't be able to pee haha I told you i'm a freak.
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hunterjumper
replied on March 31st, 2006
Experienced User
You know what, you have a good family ash, use it. Not all of us are so lucky and those that aren't are often bitter about it and think that everyone should be so unfortunate. They cover their jealousy with bravado about independence and self-respect. It sounds like you have both. Just because you have your family helping out does not mean you lack either of those traits. It is very unlikely for any 14 year old in any situation to be 100% independent and having a child is no different. Why shouldn't you have people helping you out? I think we all would have that same help if we could.

You go girl. It's great to hear what a loving family your babe is going to come in to. It will more then make up for whatever problems your age may bring, though you sound far more mature for your age then I was. :d
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little_woman
replied on March 31st, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
It sounds like you are doing what you can. Good for you, hope it works out. :)
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prettygirlygirl
replied on March 31st, 2006
Experienced User
I don't think anyone, at any age, ever knows how hard a baby is until they have one.

Ash, I was very close to your age when I conceived my daughter. I also came from a good family and they have done everything to support me through this. None of us want to see my daughter suffer a lower standard of living because at an early age I was irresponsible.

I posted a thread earlier asking about how others deal with finances and the new baby. Maybe you should work out a similar plan I did. I didn't want to live solely off my parents, but I can't afford to live on my own... So I worked out rent/food/childcare based on percentages I could afford, ie I give my mom 60% of everything I make, keep 30% in savings so I can move out when I am old enough, and put 10% away for adelaide. It doesn't really add up to much every week, but I am working several jobs, fit school in where I can, and have plenty of time for my daughter.

You will figure something out ash. You sound way too level headed to let one bout of irresponsibility keep you down and out... And it sounds like your parents are too good to let you. When my parents found out I was pregnant they made good and sure I knew what life was all about and how I was going to participate in it. I take cues and guidance from them and feel like I am going to be fine going through life as a single mother... Even if I have to put a few things on hold until she is a little older.
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AshBoBash
replied on April 1st, 2006
Experienced User
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Thanks you guys :)
i know i'm very lucky to have my family like how I do. I have a lot of support and I know my baby will have a lot of love. My baby is gonna have a good life. I cant wait for her to get here!
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Carrie-Lucie
replied on April 1st, 2006
Experienced User
Wow ash, I wish I was as mature as you are - your baby is very lucky to have you as a mum you're gonna super at it. :)
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Tayzia
replied on April 1st, 2006
Experienced User
Ash, when you first came to this forum, I have to admit, I was worried about you. The second I saw "thirteen and pregnant", I was rolling my eyes. But you have proved that you are totally strong and mature, and i'm very proud of you. You're standing up for yourself, and you're proving that you're ready for this. Your baby is going to be very lucky to have you for a mom, and good luck, honey. :)
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AshBoBash
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Experienced User
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Quote:
ash, when you first came to this forum, I have to admit, I was worried about you. The second I saw "thirteen and pregnant", I was rolling my eyes


i'm just wondering, if you roll your eyes at younger pregnant teens then why did you pretend to be one 3 times?
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Rodge
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Active User, very eHealthy
tayzia wrote:
http://ehealthforum.Com/health/viewt opic.Php?T=38122&start=0

there are a lot of little kids on this forum. I was hoping you wouldn't be one. And you weren't.
When is everyone going to stop jumping down my throat about that? Holy caca, what more can I say?? I thought that was closed. Honestly - I tell you seriously how impressed I am with you, and you bring that up again.


because you did it, and you hurt a lot of feelings. You can't honestly expect to be able to have a go at anyone without someone bringing up the 'lying for months' thing in their defence. It's like the ultimate trump card.

Besides, it's only been out for a little while. Give it a year.
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whyte_kissez
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Experienced User
dalicialynn wrote:
my mom sat in the bathroom with me while I peed on the stick!!


Talk about sharing an experience.

Haha!


so did my mom! :\ haha.. She looks at the pregnancy test and wanted to believe I wasnt pregnant but sure enough the next day going to the doctor I was! Good luck hun with ur baby! :d
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Jennifer2069
replied on April 2nd, 2006
New User
Hello
:) hello umm I think that other people should just stay oput of the 14 yrs old business how she raises her kid and I am supportive to you all the way...Just because others know what it like to raise lkids
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Tayzia
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Experienced User
Yeah, rodge, I understand that. But why did she need to defend herself? I was praising her for her maturity and capability! I understand people like jillian bringing it up, but, god.
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DaliciaLynn
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I don't care that you did it honestly, it's the internet and it's sad people are still tripping about it.

Oh yeah, i'm gonna be cool and hold a grudge over the net.

Get over it, b*tching about it isn't going to do anything but cause more fights.

So let's all agree to disagree and shut the f*ck up.

Deal?
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AshBoBash
replied on April 2nd, 2006
Experienced User
Re
I just think its weird to do something like that if you feel indifferently towards the type of person your pretending to be. Its just weird to me and I was just asking why would someone do that cause im curious. Im not trying to start anything. I'm jsut honestly curious as to why fakers do the things they do. And she admitted to fakign so I was asking her why. I don't understand. And I want to.
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