the poster of this thread is stupid for cheating on his girlfriend and the 16 year old is even stupider for lying and saying she was on the pill.

I'm leaning both ways on this topic (i'm canadian go figure eh?) though I agree she should have told you if she wasn't on the pill, it isn't your choice whether she has an abortion or not, and you shouldn't totaly ignore the child you should atleast keep in touch to see how it's doing from time to time, he/she is a part of you... But that's just my opinion...

To me you sound real responsible.... I know I may sound stupid for saying this... But for you relising and owning up to wat you did is a real good thing to do.. If I was you.. You should talk to her.. She has no idea what it goign to be like... She needs help.. Even if you see this baby once a month.. Be part of its life... Dont just push it away.. It is your child and it will soon catch up with you

Ew, I just read your origional post over again, and I must not have read it clearly the first time.

You're a real friend :d trying to persued her to get an abortion because you don't want to step up to the plate and be a man for your own actions what is that? If you didn't want a child you should have

a) stayed with your girlfriend instead of being a man prostitute and cheating on her.

And b) used protection! You're 21 but coming in here like some of the little 11 and 12 year olds, yeah she said she was on the pill but it was a 1 night stand, anything can happen you should have been thinking with your head instead of your d*ck. :roll:

^^ exzactly

I know ive made a mistake. It just seems like the man has no choice. If it were the otherway round and I wanted to keep it and she didnt I cant do anythin about it, but if she does decide to keep it then I gotta be happy with that too?

I guess this gonna take a few more sleepless nights to figure out

I understand what you're saying, but this is your child, you helped make it! It's really stupid for you to not want it because "it doesn't fit into your life" right now. That's not a man honey, sorry to tell you.

1. You made the choice to sleep with the girl
2. You made the choice not to use any birth control
therefor you made a child. :d

think about this baby in 10 years, asking about it's dad, I didn't have a dad my whole life either, and when I was little I did cry over it because all my friends had fathers and I didn't. It might not effect everyone not to have a dad, but this is your first kid and you just want to walk out on it?

It might not seem great right now, but you need to tell your girlfriend what happened, and I think you need to start being in this girls life, you're always going to have a connection with her now, through your child. Step it up, life doesn't always go the way you planned..

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's going to be the one going through pregnancy, puking every day, getting stretch marks, having all the pain symptoms related to pregnancy - plus she's going to have to give birth! A mother is linked to her child by natural instinct from the moment it's conceived - if she were to have an abortion, it would be a doing it hell of a lot harder on her then on you. I can't believe you think that it's your place to talk her into an abortion when you doing it got a sixteen year old pregnant, and now you're trying to make things easier on yourself. I'll give you some advice -be a goddamn man and realize that this is your fault as much as hers, whether or not she did lie about b/c.
If you wanted to keep it and she didn't, she would still be the one making the decision. It's not your place to tell her what to do, or even your place to have a strong opinion in it (because it seems like you're wavering between denying parental status and reluctantly being a part of your child's life). This will be *her* decision in the end, and whatever she picks, it doesn't matter, because this is still *your* baby and *you* have to take responsibility for what *you* did.

To me your mom is wrong,how could you live knowing you have a child out there and you dont even know them,take the choice of being a father,yeah your too young but think how young that girl was and no I aint no lo lifer,just trying to help and its not the babys fault so dont try to make a choice if you want it or not because its here,its your human flesh and remember just because she wants it doesnt mean you have to turn away from it and be a man and do whats right and I dont think your family is telling you the right thing,well I hope your not mad,i just thought I tell you my opinion and remember babys are innocent.,..

Im just trying to stop her from making a mistake or keeping the baby for the wrong reasons. She text me sayin how exited she was that shes gettin a council house or flat next year. Im not sure if she just thinks its gonna be a cute little baby. I really cant see why she does want to keep it. Im pretty much a stranger to her, she hasnt even left school yet. She just got her whole life to have a baby with somone who she loves and who can bring up the baby better. I was just trying to make her look at the whole picture. I havnt said to her "get an abortion" ive just been like are you sure this is whats best. I think it would be a mistake to keep the baby but I am its father so I will have to take responsabilty.

let me tell you something...

You're right, it isn't fair and balanced. The woman is the one who carries the baby. She's the one whose body suffers from it. She's the one who might be throwing up more than 15 times a day for months. She's the one whose bones shift to make room for the baby. She's the one who is kicked in the ribs and bladder repeatedly. She's the one who has to risk her health giving birth. She's the one who has to endure the pain of childbirth. She's the one who might have to have emergency surgery if things are going well with the vaginal birth method.

So you're right, it isn't fair, but you're not the one getting the short end of the stick, my friend.

It also isn't fair when the man just walks away emotionally and leaves the woman alone to face a pregnancy all by herself. It isn't fair when the man refuses to pay one damn dime toward his child until a court tells him he must. And then it isn't fair when he skips town and doesn't pay anything for years. It isn't fair, but it happens everyday.

You're the lucky one. You get to know the love of a child when you didn't have to endure all the pain. You get to have the right to be with that child, when you're not the one raising it. You get to impose your values and views on a child, when you're not the one who spends most of your time with it.

And are you still with your girlfriend? Does she know about all this? And yet you're crying the poor pitiful me rant? Quick being such a wimp and be a damn man.

Would you be happy knowing you have a child out there somewhere but you dont get to see him/her or give them any love, support etc? You'll probably be thinking of the child you abandoned every day for the rest of your life, wondering if they are okay, and feeling guilty for leaving. Then one day its likely they will come to find their father and you'll be stood face to face with your 16, 17, 18yr old son or daughter who has a hundred questions about why you walked away! You know its not the right thing to do, thats why you keep coming back to this site, you can try to convince yourself all you want, but no one else is going to lie to make you feel better. No one agrees with you. You're 21, at least *try* to act and think like a man not a selfish kid.

Is that running away from this problem is a weak answer, its gonna make a huge iimpact on your life sure but, youd be an insult to men if you ran away, but so many men have, its kinda annoying, but thats just how I was brought up, take responsibility for your actions

He's done nothing illegal, he's in england and the age of consent is 16 so it's irrelevant if he'd have broken the law in another country.

Firstly, you slept with her and within a week she knew she was pregnant? Sorry but it sounds a little suspicious to me so i'd firstly say that you need to make sure that she is telling the truth (i.E go to a clinic and get a test together) or something.
If she is then you cannot force her to have an abortion - that is her choice and hers alone (i'm pro-choice). If you are adament you want nothing to do with the child then you'll have a financial obligation but you don't need to be involved in any other way (i appreciate this sounds harsh and yes, it's both of their responsibilities but people shouldn't lie about being on contraception...And people shouldn't cheat!)

you need to tell your gf, either way. It's not fair on her.