Please don't blame yourself! This is hard enough to deal with without thinking that it was your fault. I lost what would have been my second child in february 2005 and though it took me a long time to grieve I knew I had to stop blaming myself for what happened. It wasn't my fault and the doctors confimed that. Sometimes little miracles just aren't ment to be and please know and have faith that you did nothing wrong and that worrying about what everyone thought had nothing to do with this. They would have eventually came around!

Thankyou so much for your reply.. Its a relief to talk about it... I feel so guilty if id have just wanted it more maybe I wouldnt have lost it... I feel like im never going to get through this, I cant take much more..
I loved tht baby so much it doesnt seem fair maybe if id have worried les,, eaten properly and slept properly it wudnt have happened...

Im so sorry about your miscarriages..
Thankyou for replying x x

Ya know it is kind of wierd that the more you want the baby the more likely you will loose it. That may sound terrible, but I wanted that baby more than anything else at that point in my life due to the fact that I am having trouble concieving and that that baby was concieved on the exact day that my grandfather died. I was in shock when I was told that it had no heartbeat and that it was only 8 weeks big when it was supposed to be 12 weeks. Everyone around me is pregnant and I just feel that none of them want their babies as much as I wanted and still want mine. My brothers girlfriend is having her second only to get her tubes tied afterwords and my friend's second "accident" is only to keep her government health insurance and my neighbor only is pregnant cause her sister just had a baby. I am glad that I don't have these motives and I am glad to hear that you wanted the baby, but don't blame yourself. The baby would have taken what it needed when it needed to survive, so there was nothing that you did that was wrong. I went through a period like this also. I kept wondering if it was the medicines my ob told me to take when I was sick or if it was the way I slept on my belly or if my son had sat on the baby and harmed it, but I soon came to realize that the baby just may have had some chromo abnormalities. I did find out that I did have an infection afterwords that caused my miscarriage and then I came down even harder on myself. I got fixed up and decided to have very regular check ups to prent this from happeneig again. As long as you are healthy I wouldn't worry any more about it being your fault.

Thankyou for your help..Thankyou for sharing your experiences with m eit must be hard..
I do feel that it was my fault though, everytime I go through it in my head it seems to point more and more that it was something I did.. If only id done things differently.. I t makes it harder because no one knows just one of my friends.. A lady at work today found out she was pregnant and I heard them talking I couldnt stop crying I had to come hom early.. I shouldnt be jealous like this should I it just doesnt seem fair.. Whats wrong with me? :(
it so hard to just get thru a day.. I want to forget about it because it hurts so bad it works for a while but then all seems to hit me.. Why can I get thru this other people have??
Thankyou for listening x x

When did u miscarry? Believe me when I tell you that I feel the same way. I found out that I was pregnant a few months after my best friend and we were planning a big baby shower together and then I lost mine and trying to sit through her baby shower was absolute torture for me. I have this unbelievable anger against everyone that is pregnant right now. I just hate them cause it seems like they have everything that I have been working so hard to get. I just can't do it and it is heartbreaking. My doctor just gave me 100mg of clomid to start on wed. And I have to have an hsg on friday so I am praying this works but I am not getting my hopes up as it has failed before and I know that I will be broken hearted. I just want to be preggy before my brothers girlfriend gives birth in sept.. I won't be able to bare the sight of her kid as she doesn't even really want it. I went out to dinner with my husband about two hours ago and our waitress was preggy and I just wanted to rip her eyes out! I have to just look away and pray she stays away from me. My husband doesn't even want another one and I cry myself to sleep every night thinking that my son will be my only. He asks me everyday when he will get his sister and I don't know what to say to him ya know. I went through some nasty depression after my loss blaming myself and everybody around me. I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want to deal with anyone either. It's so hard when you get your hopes up and already start to love your baby and then as it happened for me it was a missed abortion where the heart just stopped beating and I had to actually have a d&c cause my body hadn't wanted to expell the "tissue". The nurse wanted to know if I knew what I was their for and I told her yeah my baby didn't have a heartbeat and the doctor wants to take it out. She looked at me and just walked away cause what could she have said. My husbamd didn't even go with me he didn't want to talk about it and he has said nothing about since so it really feels good to talk with you. I have been harbouring this inside for more than a year now and it is such a relief. Thanks a whole bunch for listening and if ya want to keep chatting let me know okay and I promise the more you talk and get on with your life the better you will feel even though it takes some time. Nobody can expect you to get over the death of your baby quickly.

Thankyou so muh for sharing you experience with me, its so reassuring to know that im not the onl one feeling like this... I hate to see other women pregnant im so jealous it doesnt seem fair that it can happen to thm and yet ive lost mine.. Im so sorry for your loss.. I didn't have to have a dnc because I wudnt go for a scan because I didnt believe that I had lost it... The nurse I went to see a couple of weeks after was horrible she looked down on mebecause I am young and because I said it wasnt planned just presumed tht I musnt have lost it and that it was "for the best"...
I miscarried about 2 months ago, I feel awful when I say I just want to forget it but its only because I dont wnt to hurt anymore, I want to remember my baby but want it here with me not remembering that I lost it...
Its very hard my boyfriend not knowing I have one friend that nos and she a big help, shes always there for me but she has her own life n own family n its so good to talk on here because I no u are going through the same thingas me n is such a relief to no tht u feel the same about other prenant ladies and I nt feel such an fool..
Hopefully speak to you again soon... Thankyou so muh for listening and replying and sharing you experiences with me... Good luck I hope it goes well with the docs..
Thankyou again.. X x x

Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I can't judge you cause I was engaged to be married at 15 and I gave birth to my son on valentines day which was six days before I turned 18 years old. Why doesn't your boyfriend want a baby? Is it due to where you guys are in your life or does he just not want one? I get the feeling that you will be having another one soon and miscarriages are very common with first pregnancies so you may get that little miracle next time. Once you can bring yourself to move past this little speed bump you will make a wonderfull mommy someday. You sound so full of love and concern for your children and that is what it takes. It will happen and although you will never forget you will grieve and move on to have a happy life.

Im 19.. Whenever weve talked about it before he always says if u were ever pregnant u wud get rid of it would you.. It hurts me so much to hear him say tht... Sometimes I just want to tell him what happened and so he could make it all go away but I no it wouldnt and I no he cant... I need to try and face up to whats happened but its so hard I think abut it everyday... Your right no matter what I said or thought about doing I loved that baby so much and deep down I did want to keep it... Thankyou sooo much for talking it really helps to talk about it because its so hard pretending tht everything is normal...
You know you say you get the feeling I will be having one soon I didnt have a period last month I just put it down to being back on the pill and it being so soon after what happened.. I dont know if I could face being pregnant again but well see what happens... Just thought id mention it with you saying that...
Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply.. I just wish something cud make me stop feeling so guilty I wish I could have done something to protect it. I called it because it hurts so much when I say baby it makes it I dnt more real... I know tht sounds silly I cant explain it..
Thankyou for listenng x x x x

Wow, some people are just so diferent. I wanted to go to college and become something great untill I met my husband. Then I only wanted a family. Its so hard when you can't accomplish it like you planned and everyone else just needs to look at their man and poof they have a baby like the next day. I can't believe he said that to you! I know he must have some great qualities, but thats not one. My husband doesn't want anymore children and he isn't even that good with the one that we have, but I keep hopng that either he will change his mind and grow up or just leave me so I can get a real man ya know. We are having some unbelievable issues with eachother and for some reason I don't care if he is in my or my sons life, but I would like another child by him because my son is so smart and handsome ya know. I just don't want to go around having children by many men ya know. I may sound silly, but I know what I want and someday I intend to get it. How long have you been together with your guy? He may come around when the reality of it all hits him in the face, but till then I don't know what to tell ya. I hope that you can get over this and take the next step in your life and really get what you are so passionate about right now. I wish you so much luck.

Oh doesnt sounds too goo for you at the moment hun... It doesnt sounds silly at all your husband is stability for you n your got a wonderful son so you want another with him... But u also want someone whos going to love you, look after you, n want children with you...
It hurt so much to hear him say that..Ive been with him for 18 months and I do think thw world of him but at the moment its going dwn bank, I dnt no what it is.. My friend says she can c how much ive changed when she sees me just since this has happened, so I dunno what he thinks because he doesnt no whats even going on... I want to tell hm sometmes because I think he should no but I couldnt deal with it on top of everything else if he said well it was for the best or ud have go rid of it anyway... :(
im having a bad baby day today cried alot but just want it all to go away...
Me n my bf r supposed to be buying a house together at the moment but idnt feel like it at the moment I m unsure of what to do...
I look at him sometimes n think im beginning to hate him because if it wasnt for what hed have said id have told him n known straight away that id have wanted to keep it... But instead I iffed n arred n dnt think I wanted it enough so I lost it.. It hurts so much :(

Areyou absolutely 100% positive that this is how he would feel if you told him? It seems like you two love eachother and buying a house is like having a baby kind of. It is a really big step and I don't see how this is any different. Does he not want kids or he does sometime in the future? I almost want to say that if he loves you like you say you love him then he would be very understanding to your feelings and want to help you get passed this. Secrets really hurt especially when you keep them from the one person you love most ya know. Ask him hypathetically how he would feel if this were to happen. Ask him if he would want to know and be supportive or if he would rather not know as hard as this might be.

Im not 100% sure I suppose but whenever we have talked about it he always says the same thing... You would get rid of it wouldn't you and how am I supposed to react to that.. I just don't say anything it makes me feel I dunno sick inside..
I don't know sometimes I do doubt that he loves me as much as I love him, I would do anything for him no matter what he wanted I would do it for him and stand by him but I don't feel like ive got that support..
I dunno I suppose a house is a big thing but you ca always walk away from it cant you you sell the house n thats it... Hes then same with marriage he says he wouldn't marry me at the moment either or for a long while anyway..
I have thought about asking him hyperthetically but I don't know if it would be too obvious, he might guess that its me...
He says he does want kids but not now but I don;t know I doubt whether he wants them or whether he doesnt no if he wants them with me..

Wow other than the you told me about we may be in the same boat with the whole man thing. It's so sad. Did cinderella get the last good man? Have you told him your 100% truthfull feelings on the subject. My husband knows that I want another child more than life itself and he is no more willing which I am guessing will be the end of my marriage after we have been together for the past 8 years. We aren't in the same place in our lives while I am moving forward he seems to be gaowing backwards right back into his teenage ways. He is hopless I guess. Please go to the Dr. Though and make sure that things are ok. Please.

Hey darling.I hope that all the support youre getting is slowly beginning to make you feel better..You will never be completely over it,but I hope youre beginning to cope.I lost my baby in dec 2005 and I still think about it every day.It was the worst night of my life,i had a petty argument with my boyfriend and we both went to sleep mad and then I woke up at around 1am with horrible pain and bleeding.In the hospital,when they told me id lost my baby,that was the worst thing thats ever happened to me and at the time I felt it was my fault for all the arguing with my boyfriend and I know he blamed himself too.Its only now im beginning to accept that miscarriages,well as horrible as they are,they happen and you cant blame yourself.To make it even worse for me,a lot of our friends (through one of his close friends) had found out the pregnancy and were using it as gossip (im 17,you know how teenagers are) and then somehow his friends got it into their heads that id had an abortion and were publicly insulting me for that.Although I had all of my loyal friends standing up for me saying i'm pro-life,would never do that and telling them that I had had a miscarriage and was going through hell it was the hardest thing to lose the thing I wanted most and then be insulted for it.It still hurts,i cant deny that,but living is becoming more bearable and I wanted you to know that it will get better,i promise.So much love...

It does get better, sometimes we never know why things like this happens but they do, you might tell your b/f, fiance, hubby, whatever, then he might understand a little better why you might be acting a little different at times, if he really loves you, he will care and understand. The one you lost is in heaven telling you that I am ok now and it is time for you to move on. I understand because I lost two, you never forget but it gets easier and you do move on! If you are having a difficult time with it, you can call mental health, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to say that you are crazy, they might be able to lead you in the right direction.
The best to you!

Hey sorry I didnt reply yesterday me and my boyfriend had big row so I wasnt here and couldn't go on the internet... Were having bit of a crap time at the moment our mortgage hasnt been agreed n I had accident in the car someone went in the back of my car...
Thankyou to everyone whos replied.. I havent told him 100% how I feel because he doesnt no bout mc because I cant talk to him about it.. U no what men are like.. He knows I really want children I would like to have a house and everything for them too...
It hasnt stopped hurting yet and I dont know about it getting easier but im sure like you guys it will well at least I hope it will anyway... There isnt a day goes by that I think of what happened.. Its so sad :( no matter how I try not to think about it I do and it still makes me soooo sad...
I dnt feel like I can talk to him, he wouldnt understand and I dnt want to have lost it and then him say well it was "for the best" or something because at the moment it would finish me off for him to say that...
I dont feel that I can talk to anyone else about it I talk on here to my friend but for now thats all that I can manage its v hard for me to talk face to face to someone about it, as I just cry n can't find the words to say... Thankyou to everyone whos replied im so so soryy for all your losses I can empathise with you its the worst thing ever to mc...
Thankyou again... X x x x

Hey sorry I didnt reply yesterday me and my boyfriend had big row so I wasnt here and couldn't go on the internet... Were having bit of a crap time at the moment our mortgage hasnt been agreed n I had accident in the car someone went in the back of my car...
Thankyou to everyone whos replied.. I havent told him 100% how I feel because he doesnt no bout mc because I cant talk to him about it.. U no what men are like.. He knows I really want children I would like to have a house and everything for them too...
It hasnt stopped hurting yet and I dont know about it getting easier but im sure like you guys it will well at least I hope it will anyway... There isnt a day goes by that I think of what happened.. Its so sad :( no matter how I try not to think about it I do and it still makes me soooo sad...
I dnt feel like I can talk to him, he wouldnt understand and I dnt want to have lost it and then him say well it was "for the best" or something because at the moment it would finish me off for him to say that...
I dont feel that I can talk to anyone else about it I talk on here to my friend but for now thats all that I can manage its v hard for me to talk face to face to someone about it, as I just cry n can't find the words to say... Thankyou to everyone whos replied im so so soryy for all your losses I can empathise with you its the worst thing ever to mc...
Thankyou again... X x x x

Well sadly a few months on and its happened again... I must have got pregnant not long after I mc before I idnt realise how fertile you were after uv been pregnant.. It happened again I cant beileve it... I posted another topic but I havent had much response just one person... I dont know what to do I dont think I can go through this again, its so hard.. I hadnt got over last time I was just finding abit easier adn blaming myself a bit less.. But now this.. :(
thanks for any replies I get in advance I would be really greatful for any advce you may have.. No one nos only my friend.. I wanted to wait until I knew the baby was ok and I was safe until I told anyone but I never got the chance :(

It's horrible losing a child - know we are all here for you if you ever need tot alk, you can pm me if you like. I lost my son dylan at a few weeks old so different circumstances but I kinda know.