I wrote this bit of writing based on the song I always listened to when I was depressed it is not the lyrics to the song but instead I used the idea of cold water to show my feelings. When I was heavily depressed in a childs mental hospital called colwood (not as bad as it sounds) I was feeling suicidal and was the lowest ive ever been. This sums up my feelings at the time and I just wanted to put it on the site see what you think:

"cold water surrounds me now and all I have is your hand"
cold water, damien rice, o

the hands that once were there just a week ago are now fatigued uninterested
distressed me- colwood, the last chance: the last stop on a journey
home to mentally ill kids together clambering on one anothers shoulders
forcing others under downwards for their own needs
a holocaust recreation; gasping for air: dying to live, living to die
everyone for themselves
me- saturated in a pool of bitter cold moods- temperature steadily declining
slowly my body feels numb; unable to show any feeling: am I dead already?
Hands surround me- those I will not grab for
or those to far to reach; unwilling to risk their sanity for mine
my body weighed downwards- full of heavy thoughts.
Tired and distressed unable to struggle onwards, fighting a war of attrition with myself
i reach into forbidden places try to cope with it all.
Slowing down an inevitable outcome - keeps me above water
slowly they delapidate and fall away no longer within reach or present
the hands I do not trust to grab are there: i'd rather fall below
out of the pool it is impossible to remain out, I slippery slope surrounds my sanity
school forces me back I regress back into the pool of depression
potential- an optical illusion, visible but no reason to stay; totally needless in death
future- a glimmer of light below the water distorted by my depressed eyes and no longer there
pointlessness- a dark cloud overhead shadowing me with gloom
thundering down on my already fragile mind reducing the struggle

below water I would be safe and unburdened but you do not return
i must swim down to sanctuary