Is This Ptsd ?? Schizophrenic ?? (help) Posted: 03-27-06 17:45pm
I will keep it short as I can to tell you
the story of my condition..
3 years ago (i was 1cool I had a group of
friends that we used to smoke marijwana
togather every day,.. After a short
period they started to abuse me every time
we get high (while smoking marijwana) but
in a strange way.. They used to refer to
me while they talk together (in a hidden
meanings or indirect way) as a girl or
sissy guy(which iam actually not).. By
commenting on some actions or things i've
said as if they are talking about some
girl or someone else (not me)... But I
was taking that as a reference or abuse to
me cause they were including things that
relate to my
action/hisotry/activities/things i've
said... (don't know why they were doing
that.. I used to think that maybe because
iam too thin or have a bad look image or
look too young)
i didn't stop meeting them afterwards
cause they were my only source for
marijwana.. So I kept experiencing this
stress for a bout a year or less... And
if I someday got angry or made a problem
with them or tell them why they are
abusing me.. They always said we were not
talking about you!..
At that time and later I started to feel
very strange when iam out on the streets
or in a crowd of people.. I used to feel
that people are watching me and watching
my actions and how I behave so they relate
that of me being sissy or acting like
girls) I used to feel very uncomfortable
among people or stranger or on the
streets.. Sometimes feel like car horns
are ment as if drivers are noticing that
iam looking like a sissy or a girl or
acting like to.. Sometimes feel like that
people on the streets are noticing that
too and will try to abuse me indirectly as
what happened to me before with me
friends... And what it drives me crazy is
when iam with people wheather or not I
know them or family and there is a
conversation about girls or sissies I feel
like they are talking about me or abusing
me in an indirect way ir refering to me..
Another thing to that happens with me alot
which is if iam watching a movie or
something with any friends or people and
someone comment on an actress on the movie
I think they are using the movie to abuse
me indirectly or to refer to me... Even
if iam sure this is not true.,. I
sometimes fear that a girl on the movie
(or a talking about girl) say thing or
have thing which i've said/have make
people notice that its refering to me and
notice that iam anixous to that so they
think that iam feeling sissy or so...Also
if iam listening to a song that talking
about girls among people or firends, I
feel very uncomfortable
beside that, I started to lack joy of
anything that used to enjoy me.. Lost all
friends... Stopped collage and iam having
a hardtime alone
anyway I stopped the marijuwana used to go
to doctors, tried many medications like
anafranil, risperdal, seroxat, seroquel
but still suffering..
Is that ptsd ? Or a schizophrenic thing
?
What is happening to me ?
