that makes no sense whatsoever. Are you sleeping with her sister's friend, or is she?

Either way, here's my two cents (and you're probably not gonna like it):
you were selfish. You let yourself get comfortable with the fact that she was always around, and that made you get lazy. You stopped treating her like you did when you first met her and started taking her for granted.

If she says she doesn't love you anymore, then, well, it's probably too late. You can't force her to love you, and you can't expect her to come running back just because you suddenly had this realization that you can't live without her. It just doesn't work that way. You are supposed to know that and act like that throughout your relationship, not just when you've lost her.

I understand that you're having this "oh crap, what have I done?" moment right now, but you have to understand that she's put up with your crap for a really long time now and it was probably hard for her to leave... But there came a point where she had to start thinking about herself.

Tell her you're sorry and how you feel, but leave it at that. Don't call her all the time or keep trying to make her do anything. If she comes back, she comes back. If not, well, then you can't fault her for that.

Meanwhile, where is your child in all this, and what's she being told about what's going on? She, actually, should be your first concern, not trying to get your underappreciated wife back.

Its supposed to say:

ive found out that she has been sleeping with her sisters friend after only 2 days of leaving....

My ex wifer and my daughter are living back at our house as I moved back to my parents. I see my doughter as much as I can as I miss her like crazy.

Is there no other advice as I nknow this sounds crazy but I cant live without her. I love her to much

I really hate to say this, but you just have to move on. It seems like you really took advantage of her. Ofcourse you're sorry, ofcourse you wish you never acted or said the horrible things you did, but it doesnt change the fact, that you did them and you have to live with it. Every action has a reaction and there is nothing you can do to reverse any reaction. I think for your daughter's sake you need to stop trying to get her back, cuz she's not coming back, and figure out a civilized manner to act around her with your ex-wife. Your child comes first, not you and your feelings about your ex. That's selfish.

Sorry to be brutal, but truth hurts.

U should move on and not bother her and hurt her more by harrassing her. Ur making bigger mistakes like that. Tell her ur sorry sincerely and if she returns, then pls change ur attitude and act matured. How old r u now???

But if she doesn't return, respect her decision n remember for a wife/mum to take a decision to leave the husband doesn't come overnite. It must be difficult for her, but she had no other chioce.

If u were in ur wife's shoe n ur husband had done this to u, what would u have done.... Do what u preach others...

Nobody likes a miserable life... Everybody wants an easy life, if u wanted to be treated like a king, then u must remember ur wife too would have wanted to be treated like a queen.

Marriage is give and take, but many still dun live up to it till it is very late....

Sorry to be harsh, but I think u needed some knocking advice... What is the point of sitting and waiting for sympathy........ U will never get one...

Instead, carry on with ur life... Do something right this time...

I aaam sorry but I have to agree with the others, it is time to move on, swallow your pride, maybe if you sit down and talk to her it might help but that is about all I have to offer. The only way to get over one is to meet another and you two will always have certain ties because of the child. I hope you hve learned something from your mistakes and can move on. You know I used to think I could not move on either but I did!
Good luck to you!

I have been that wife in the past who finally smelt the coffee and moved away. My situation was slightly different. I was mentally abused abused by this husband and treated like something on the bottom of his shoe! I left with a one week old baby, so my emotions were running extremely high.

One thing you can do, is sit down and write a letter to your wife. It doesn't matter how long it gets and just get accross to her how you deeply regret everything that's happened. Own responsibility for what you have put her through.
At least she can read this and digest it at leisure and believe me, she'll read it. Over and over again. And again. And again.

Regrets are terrible things to live with and life is very long with this on your shoulders. Make sure you mail it to her. Call it your last shot!
She may or may not respond but importantly, you have taken ownership of the problems caused and one way or another, you can put this situation to bed.

Don't persue her and bug her. If there was ever any chance of this working out again it still may take months! Trust me, when you have kids, it wouldn't have been any easy choice for to go in the first place! It's a lot of upheaval! Likewise, it'll be the same on the flip side. She found the strength to go once, she isn't gonna come back if there are any doubts in her mind.

Continue seeing your daughter. It sounds like you completely and utterly adore her. It's nice to see in this day and age.
Cherish that between you both, you made her and be proud of that fact.
At the end of the day, if your wife doesn't come back, you'll still have a part of her in your daughter. It's a bond that'll never be broken.

So! ...... Type a letter. Mail it. Don't pester her. Then start going out! Stop sitting in stewing on it. Slap yourself round the face and tell yourself to pull yourself together! You feeling sorry for yourself isn't gonna make you any more attractive for her to think she should give it another go.
Men feeling down on their luck like that isn't attractive.

In my own story ..... My ex husband called late one night threatening suicide. He was gonna jump off the pier. All he got from me was : " make sure the tide's going the right way, or it wont work" some may say I was heartless, even cruel, but i'd got to the point where him moaping was irritating the hell out of me. I bet your wife's feeling the same way.

Good luck ...... And know ....... If you will find peace within yourself once again.

Hey guy,

well, I can give you advice from a woman's perspective, who is in a relationship just like yours!!!!!!

First, I do think you have to move on, like the others. But if you honestly don't see that as and option for you, I can give you a little advice.

See, my husband works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. He leaves for work at 11am, comes home at 11pm. I work from home, making money online. Believe it or not, I don't mind his schedule!! Since my work is at home, I can sleep when ever I want! So when hubby comes home at 11pm, he stays up till 3 in the morning. So 11-3 is "our time".

However, he tends to spend that entire time either playing online poker, watching poker on tv or playing poker upstairs with our "night owl", alcoholic neighbors!!!! But whatever he does, he doesn't pay me much attention at all!

When we first go together, things were great. He was romantic and fun.....But now, I just cannot get him to connect with me. Ever. His mind is always a million miles away from me. Even if we go out on a romantic date, he wants to bring his friends. Or get up and run down the street to a bar, to play poker. If he doesn't do that, he spends the entire meal, yapping on his cell phone to his friends or talking a waiter's ear off!!! But the focus is never me!

What's the point? Every time I threaten to leave bcause I can't take being ignored, he blocks the doorway and begs me to stay. He gets all romantic, mushy and tells me how he (...Ahem...) "can't live without me". As soon as I un pack and settle back down, he's back to his usual self!



Now if he and I ever get divorced over this, my biggest reason for not comming back, no matter how much he beggs me, will be this----i simply don't believe he is capable of change and I don't want to suffer all this again!!!

He has never proved that he can change. The only time he notices me is if he thinks he is loosing me. Any other time, I don't exist......Except to clean the house, do his laundry, cook dinner, and rub his feet, of course. And if I refuse to do that, he just whines like a big baby!



So, the only way you are ever going to get her back, if you can, is to prove that you have changed. And I mean prove it!!! It will take some time too, its not goin to happen over a few weeks time, maybe not even a few months time!

First, you have to change. Really change, from the inside out. Words are cheap. You can tell her that you have changed all you want, just like my husband tells me that I am important and tha the loves me soooooo much, when I am about to walk out the door. But words mean nothing in the face of actions that say otherwise.

Now, you do have the opportunity to prove to her that you have changed. You have a child together, so you have to see each other. I suggest you print out this forum page and let her read it, because (no offense) men are not great at verbally expressing themselves. By showing this to her, you are letting her know what you have been doing and how much she means to you. It's important that she sees what you are putting yourself through. After that, you need to start using the time you have in her presence to your prove yourself. And be patient, like I said, it will take alot of time for her to get over all those feelings of hurt and betrayal. Of course, there is no gurantee that this will work, but it's the only chance you've got.

Oh----and if you do get her back, don't you dare go changing back to your old self, ever. If you loose her again, it will be the ultimate betrayal and lie in her eyes. If you do that, you will never get her back. Period. End of story. So only attempt this if you are trly ready to change your ways. Completely.