I have been dating a separated man (3 yrs) for 6 months. He has had 2 previous relationships that sound like they were moreso just fun... Whereas he says his feelings for me are much deeper. He told me he was in love with me by the 2nd month but added "i think you know that that doesn't mean I want to run ut and get married tomorrow though. I'm not even out of my first marriage!". (duh! I used to think. And I hardly know you anyway!). I started getting attached about 3.5 mos regardless of the situatuion. His wife tried to bust into his apartment one night when she saw my car there and attacked him and got herself arrested. She is a highly educated, very successful woman.

In the 5th month I finally asked him when he thinks about having a new life and partner if he ever considers me. "of course!" he said "it's only natural to think of the person you're with! But I can't make any promises right now" my heart sank and I got very quiet. He sensed it and said: "i'm not saying i'm going to go out and screw every woman I see (i had epxressed concern about this before). But i'm going to picky and ask a lot of questions. That's why i've been asking you a lot of questions." I was rather shocked because he had been

i broke down to a mutual male friend of ours shortly after when he asked how things were going with us. He called my b/f and said: "i hope you two are really communicating about everything. She is very concerned." my b/f told me about their conversation and said "we don't know how we're going to feel about this relationship once i'm divorced. Maybe you'll think i'm not such a great catch after all." I said "well I don't forsee my feelings changing." I was pretty shocked again in light of his telling me all these months he was in love with me. We argued more.

About a week later, the night before I left for a week-long overseas business trip, I told him I wasnt sure I could see him anymore. He tried to assure me he didn't mean anything negative by his comment that he didn't know how he was going to feel after his divorce. I said "well it sounds like you're telling me you might dump me after." he said: "i'm committed to you and I want to see where this goes. I want this to work." "why are you so reluctant to cool things until you're divorce is thru?" I asked. "two reasons" he said "#1 you mean a lot to me.. And #2.. Although #1 is most important.. It would be caving into my wife" "what??" I said "what does she have to do with it??" "she is trying to ruin this!" he said.

I went on my trip and didn't contact him at all like he asked. When I got back he told me he had missed me like crazy and talked with all his friends while I was gone and told them how much he loves me and asked their opinion about us and that they all said our thing sounded like a good thing. He also said he had been thinking alot about me and our future and printed out and framed pics of me and put them next to his sons (16 yr old). I ignored his calls a few days when I got back. He left a message finally asking if I didn't want to talk to him, for what reason he coudln't tell, to just at least let him know. I finally called him. "should I stop framing pictures of you and looking at flights to new mexico???" (we had talked about taking a trip in a couple months). We argued a bit more.

The next weekend we went away... I decided to give it one more shot. While we were at a restaurant one night he said he wanted to ask me something he had been thinking a lot about. He asked me if I wanted to build a new life with him (move in). I was even more shocked. I didn't know what to say but said it was interesting timing since I had almost broke it off 2 weeks ago. "i've been thinking about it a long time". "how long?!" I asked. "since the 2nd month we were dating (he had asked me a lot of questions along those lines when we met like: how did I feel about being a stepmom... Did I want children...). I just didnt feel it was the right time to ask until now"

i don't know what to think/do.