Before bringing up my question, a brief background about us, I am a chinese girl from mainland china and he is a german who lives in london for more than 10 years, he is 28 and I am 26.


We were dating for almost 7 months, I believe we are in the stage of a committed relationship since he told me several times that he loves me and wants to be with me. He likes sex which I can tell from the beginning when we dated. But we did not have sex almost for 20 days after he came back from hk for a 10 day vocation. We used to have sex for 2-3 times because both of us are students, once we met, almost everytime we had sex. We now still kiss, making out but he did not initiate sex like what he did before, what is wrong? I really want him, how can I remind him and let him know? I feel so frustared and hurt since every time when he wants sex he just comes over, but every time when I want him, he always has lots of excuses to avoid it.Yesterday he said he was really exhausted because of long time flight, today we met up just for one hour and half at the cafe which is just one mile from his place, he did not invite me to come over to his place and also said he wanted to go to sleep earlier since he still feels tired because he got up very early due to jet lag.

He went to hk just for vocation, what he did I have no idea, but I knew he hanged out his single girl and guy friends there. He remained distant after he got back, which made me think of something, I feel hurt and not be wanted.

He never considers my feelings in term of sex, he even never made me come, every time he stoped after he came, after I did for him. I felt I was just his sex toy or slave.

I really love him but he can not sexually satisfy me at all, I really work hard on my patience at his case. I even gave up self-esteem and told him about my feelings several times directly before he went to hk. One night before he went to hk, I really wanted to stay with him since we would not see each other for 10 days, he agreed to spend night together but after I did service for him, he just wanted to go home to pack and totally forget his promise that we both agreed to spend night together. I told him I felt hurt and by then he asked me to come over, but when I came over, he still did not want to have sex with me, I felt so rejected and embarrassed. The culture I grow up and my personality do not allow me to initiate this again, and I used to be spoiled in my past relationship, it was never ever happened in my life and my ex-boyfriends who never treated me in this way.


Sometimes I think he just takes advantage of me since he knows that I love him so much, my mood went up and down every day and I had already spent too much thinking and trying to make this relationshp work out, but it is not mutual anyway. I feel I can not take more rejections from him, I was not happy in this relationship at all.

I could not tell him my feelings again,since I told him about my feeling before, but he still does not care too much about my feelings anyway. I do not want a boyfriend who is too self-centered and always unavailable whenever I physically need him. I tried to end this relationship several times but failed because I still love him so much. How could I just end this relationship and get this over? There are many guys around me and try to approach me but I rejected them because I still love this german guy a lot.

I appreciate any suggestions or feedback, what went wrong and what I should do.