Hey all, ok so I have smoked cannabis for
about a year straight now, and have
tripped on mushrooms 4 times within 2
months. I am a 16 year old male, and I am
happy to report that I have completely
stopped using these drugs and I am trying
to get my life back on track. Lately I
have been having abnormal thoughs.
Sometimes I wonder if I am schizophrenic.
I can still act civilized around friends,
family, and I still like to have fun. I
admit, and have knowledge that I am a
hypochondriac. Sometimes I wonder if I am
just imagining my very life. I always
wonder that if I was a schizo, how would I
know it? Like I think that I am imaging
my life. Lol sometimes the thought goes
away and I laugh about it, but sometimes I
actually think that I am imaging it all
because of movies like fight club, the
secret window, and other movies. I also
have thoughts about movies being totally
fake, which they are, but it makes me not
enjoy them as much. Also I look at the
human race as intelligent animals. Lol
well that is pritty much what we are. I
keep good hygene, and I am physically
healthy. I just want reasurance that im
not crazy. I honestly think that the
drugs were a factor in this sudden
increase in paranoia. What do you all
think. I dont hallucinate, and I dont
hear sounds (except for when im about to
fall asleep but they are like funny sounds
in my head not like someone talking to me)
could I just be thinking about this too
much causing me to think like this? Plz
reply because this thought is killing me!
The sounds that I hear only happen if I
am thinking that I hear them lol. If I
stop thinking about it then I dont hear
them.
|
kword
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 33
I Can Relate Posted: 03-25-06 02:35am
I can relate to a lot of the stuff you are
talking about
i have used pot, and adderall a stimulant
as daily drugs for some time,
i stopped smoking weed altogether now for
about 2 months and still use adderall to
some excess. Also have used shrooms,
opiates, and coke occasionally.
I do know that drugs played a part in my
psychotic episodes.
Periods of psychosis: hallucinations,
delusional thoughts
for a long time I thought of myself as
mentally ill, it hurt me so much because I
thought I had so many different
psychological disorders.
Including schizophrenia, anti-sociality
disorder, I also thought I was a
hypochrondriac. I would just think about
how everything in life was fake. Like
the movies, I completely understand how
you view movies and tv shows and how they
are fake. Just criticizing how a movie
was put together the editing, story line
the sounds, voice overs just every little
part. I also would here voices before I
went to bed but voices that I could
recognize for the most part but the voices
were saying things that wouldn't make
sense and before I could really think
about what the voices said I would not be
able to remember what was said.
I have reoganized my thought on this
subject completely
here is my conclusion and a theory for
schizorphrenia
"the mind is a very powerful thing"
what you make the mind believe is what the
mind can become,
how I got over thinking I was schizo was
just to ignore the fact I was,
i just think that the uncertainty of
knowing if I was schizo was making me go
even more over the edge. So I came up
with rational explanations for things
ex:-the voices I would hear at nite, it is
just me having stimulated brain activity
before I slept, just like dreaming while I
was still conscious.
I just basically quite worrying about it
and the thought went away completely. I
also noticed that whenever I watched a
movie or something about a disorder like
fight club or something I would question
myself about if I was like that. I am
very intrapersonal and analyze myself a
great deal. I just small symptoms of a
disorder and blew them out of
proportion.
Just dont think about it to much cause I
think that your doubts can bend your
perception of reality and your own state
of mental health.
I now have no question of my mental health
now, where as a few months ago I could not
even imagine how I could even feel as
mentally unstable as I was.
