Addiction, Recovery Forum - Boyfriend Drinks a Bottle of Vodka Everyday. Now Quit, But..

I know this is long (2 pages word processed) but if you take the time to read it and give some advice I would really appreciate it. I started from the point he moved in.. To the point of drinking a bottle of vodka everyday and passing out. He says he'll get treatment, but thinks he's cured because he got the molestation out. So, now he doesn't crave it. I don't want to lose him this is scary.

After two years of dating.. Dale moved in together, in october, and he started to drink alot in feb. Which wasn't good, because I would come home, and have to take care of him then do my schooling.. So, then finally he wasn't working, and was selling my things to buy drinks (once again not soo cool) so, I got mad! That night I needed to go to the mall to get stuff for a project, but he was too drunk to take me. So, I had to walk there when I got home. I said, "why do I need you here anyway. I am starting to really hate you. You're a loser. I want my stuff back tomorrow" so, then later on that night I cuddled up to him, and said sorry. I told him that I just get so upset, because he drinks. We kissed said good night, and went to sleep.

The next day he took me to the store and took out money gave it to me for lunch.. I was wondering why, because he never has done that before, and it was way too much. Then he took me out for breakfast dropped me off at school. Gave me hugs and kisses, and ensured me that he would be back to get me after school. Then I realized I forgot my presentation… oh oh.. So, I called home, and sure enough he came and dropped it off for me. I was so happy. I bought him some treats to say thank you for saving my life.

I went home that night, and everything of his was gone! I was so sad. I was so excited to see him. So, first thing I did was call his parents. Crying I told them what had happened they said he was there collecting his income tax stuff. I got off the phone and looked around to see if I could find a letter. I went into the bedroom, and everything he sold was back. Then I realized that I would rather have him!

After all of the hustle and bustle. I didn’t have time to think. So, finally. I just lay down and I was thinking about what I was going to do, and where dale would be, and was thinking about when I was so mean. I was thinking about how he would sleep so much, and he was apparently very depressed.. I didn’t notice though I was just looking out for myself. (selfish)

the next day still no one heard from him. I was like really worried…i was crying a lot. His mom and I talked, and we cried about it. Then I remembered how dale told me one night when he was drinking that it hurt so bad, because he was molested as a child. He was talking about what happened, and he was only 8 and sometimes he feels like the only escape is through drinking. It was an older cousin who did this to him I asked him if anyone knew. I was the only one he had ever told.

I told my mom what happened to him, and she told me to tell his parents. So, that night I called his parents and I told them. I said what dale said to me, but I made them promise they wouldn’t tell everyone. They still hadn’t heard from him. Then I was like thinking about everything that dale and I talked about and it was really overwhelming.
The next day (sunday) the police did a nation wide search for dale everyone was looking. I spent most of the day on the phone with the police being questioned, and finally the police officer asked. Did he leave a letter. I said no. He said, “are you at home one a land line?” I told him I was he told me to look for a suicide letter. He said they’re usually hidden. My parents took me home where I planned to stay with his parents for monday.

Then the next day. I called his parents, and dale answered the phone. Turns out he just sat in a hotel room drinking a lot! So, I told dale that I told his dad. Dale was crying upset and confused. He didn’t know what to do, or say. He said that he just snapped when he left. He couldn’t take it anymore. Then he let me go to talk to his dad. He was telling his dad about what had happened to him and he passed out, he wasn’t breathing and hit his head his dad called 9-1-1. He went to the hospital in an ambulance, and he was there over night in the morning they were going to transfer him to detox. He decided that he wanted to see me first.

He came to my house he was going to stay there for a bit and then go to detox, but he was scared to go there. So, I offered to go with him. When we got there they had no beds available. So, we went back later that night. Same thing. So, we tried treatment programs etc. And couldn’t get in anywhere. So, then we went to his parents house to tell them what we found.

I walked through the door his mom was standing there… she started to yell at me. She said, “you think you have all of the answers don’t you. Well, stacy you’re a big girl. So, if anything happens to him blame yourself. I am sick of being worried. She went on and on for 10 minutes. Finally I broke down in tears. Dale came in and hugged me. He told me it wasn’t my fault. Then the phone rang his mom answered it., and I was still crying she as she was talking and laughing. Then I ended up staying there and in the morning. His mom wrote him a letter that said, “take stacy home she”s not helping!” so, we went to some more places to get help including the hospital, and to see a detective about the abuse.

That night dale went home to tell his mom what he was doing. I waited in the car this time. She was rude to him so for the first time in his life. He told her off.. He told her about how much she hurts him etc. So, then we were driving away, and he wanted to go back to see if she was ok. He pretended he forgot something, and came out. He told me she was standing in the same spot in shock. Then he stayed at my parents house.

The following day I was leaving to go back to school. He was crying so hard telling me that he would miss me. I wasn’t crying. I was actually looking forward to going home. I have been here for a week. His dads birthday was last week his mom told him to invite me for dinner. I didn’t go because I was 3 hr. Away at school. Since then when I call she erases my messages, and when he calls me. She tells him to get off of the phone. So, she’s pretty much trying to break us up. I just want to help him. I suppose I am not doing a good job. I will never give up on him. I love him

so, last weekend he was suppose to come here and he didn't then this weekend he was suppose to come here and he didn'call. I don't know what the heck to do.. I just love him too much!! This is crazy he did tell me he thinks everthing will be ok... I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to love him..