Hi everyone, it's me. I discovered that
my hospital has a "family center" with
internet access (obviously) so I came to
update. The .N.I.C.U's visiting hours
are over, and I have enough morphine so
that i'm not feeling anything. It's not
like there's anything else I can do right
now. That, and i'm sick of the pitying
looks from the nurses when they come in
and check my vitals. It's not even an
"i'm sorry your baby's sick" look, it's
one of those "sixteen and pregnant. Tsk
tsk tsk." looks that I hate. I'd like to
thank my aunt carole for coming and
posting for me earlier today and
yesterday.
Olivia still isn't doing well. I finally
got to go see her again, and she doesn't
even look like a real baby. It's like
she's a plastic doll or something. This
is all so surreal. I keep looking down
and expecting to see my baby belly, and
it's not there. I am a mother. If she
makes it through this, for the rest of my
life, I will be the one she looks up to,
the one she looks to for guidance. Her
little life will be in my hands!
I checked the pregnancy forum a minute or
so ago, and in one of my posts I was
worried about being overdue. I would
.K.I.L.L to be overdue, just for the sake
of my little girl.
I think i'm going to go to bed now. I
don't care that it's 7:30.