Hi everyone, it's me. I discovered that my hospital has a "family center" with internet access (obviously) so I came to update. The .N.I.C.U's visiting hours are over, and I have enough morphine so that i'm not feeling anything. It's not like there's anything else I can do right now. That, and i'm sick of the pitying looks from the nurses when they come in and check my vitals. It's not even an "i'm sorry your baby's sick" look, it's one of those "sixteen and pregnant. Tsk tsk tsk." looks that I hate. I'd like to thank my aunt carole for coming and posting for me earlier today and yesterday.
Olivia still isn't doing well. I finally got to go see her again, and she doesn't even look like a real baby. It's like she's a plastic doll or something. This is all so surreal. I keep looking down and expecting to see my baby belly, and it's not there. I am a mother. If she makes it through this, for the rest of my life, I will be the one she looks up to, the one she looks to for guidance. Her little life will be in my hands!
I checked the pregnancy forum a minute or so ago, and in one of my posts I was worried about being overdue. I would .K.I.L.L to be overdue, just for the sake of my little girl.
I think i'm going to go to bed now. I don't care that it's 7:30.