Candy-im sorry 2 hear about what happened 2 u-it must have been awful.With a situation like this,it must be impossible 2 know what 2 do but maybe u shud consider the following:
what do ur instincts tell u?
Do you want a child & will u want this baby?
Do u think u could give birth 2 the child knowing the circumstances?
Do u think u could go through with an abortion?
Could u give ur baby up 4 adoption?
Would the baby remind u of the rape?
Are u in a relationship & how would this affect it?
There's not much I can say because ive never been in this situation but I think u need 2 consider this very carefully because no matter what u do,this will affect u life in a big way.
Best wishes & god bless,
pm me if u want 2 talk,
liz from birmingham x

I agree with sparkle an dlife is a blessing but maybe you should follow your heart I am so sorry about what happened to you and hope that the person gets exactly what he deserves may god be with you

Thankyou you for your kind words and advice , this is one of my hardest decision I have ever made . I keep question everthing and babys are the most wonderful gift anyone one could have but as long as it is in the right circumance I just dont know no more . Thanks again

Sweetheart the circumstances are messed up but remember god doesn't give you more than you can bear it is all according to what you want to deal but in my honest opinion dont have an abortion go through the pregnancy and if you dont want it at the end give it up for adopotion there are a lot of people who want children an cant have any

Hey I feel for you. I know that looking at a child that was made by rape is going to always hold anger and rage until to learn to forgive. I promise you if you are really which is an another question you have to ask yourself for this child and you learn to forgive life will be easier. That is something I can promise for you. I know what it is like to live life with knowing what someone took a great deal of respect from you and took advance of you. Every time you look aty your baby think about what it is a prilivage to give birth and see your babies face. Knowing that god has given something to you and can hold years of joy and happiness. If you worried about abortion, I sincerely write to you as a mother of a little girl, please don't I know that life is unjust but look at it this way, you have been given child that has a purpose like being the next michael jordan, next noble prize winner, next new singer....... The list goes on..... Everyone has gifts you just got to find them. I hope this helps

love

ne-ne

Thankyou it has helped alot , I have never thought that I would ever be in this kind of situation I do believe that it is a gift from god , but what a way of giving me this gift . I already have 2 children and it never even crossed my mind to get rid . I was 18 and unmarried but no one was going to tell me want to do with the baby I was keeping her and that was it . I think this is why its so hard I look at the them and I am so blessed. I think I know in my heart whats right as I am questioning myself . The next big thing is telling my husband , I am having a baby . ( did not relize I wrote that till after , if that isnot telling the right thing is to keep the baby ) how do I tell him , " by the way dear I am pregnant " and its not yours , why is life so hard . Thanks again everyone for all the support .

I am pretty sure your husband could understand that you were raped and it was not your fault candy life is hard with all the other sins we commit dont throw away one of his blessings because you are so special to be carrying one of his gifts

I personally can't help you on this one but I would tell him what happened. I want to tell you that life is unfair because life we have a free will to follow lies like this person in whom raped you. Didn't you tell your husband that this happened to you?

Love

ne-ne

No I have not told my husband , where do I start , I feel ashamed and humiliated and so dirty . Yeah he may understand but being pregnant by someone else do you think he is willing to bring someone else child up ? No! And by raped . I have so many emotion going around my head . I honestly dont no where to start . I cant go threw with the abortion so I do need to say something to him , but will he understand that I want to keep the baby ? Thanks for listening.

I mean it was not your fault dont beat yourself up the kid can be given up for adoption if u both agree and I think there r places that help to take care of babies from rape victims even if they r married I just know u will make the right decision

Told my husband about the baby , and I want to keep it . He said I have to choose him or the baby ... What a choice! Why cant things be easy .

No offense he sounds like a jerk, its between keeping a selfish man and murdering your baby or getting rid of the jerk and raising your child right.. I know this is blunt, but leave the guy. This pregnancy wasn't your fault, but it wasn't the baby's either, so neither of you should be punshied!

Kelly

How dare he even offer a choice like that why is it that he cant say baby that is terrible what happened to u lets see what can happen about this baby we can both do this I wont say that he is being a jerk it is just that he is probably having a rough time understanding and the only way to keep him from losing his cool is to be insensitive which is silly be he should be more understanding then that

This is so easy, have the baby.
The baby,you will forget about being raped.
Husband, now its his problem.
No baby, you will live the life of being raped.

He says he loves me and the best thing that has ever happend to him , but he could not bring a rapist baby up cause everytime he looked at the baby it will remind him of the rape and the pain I went threw . . Which is understandable . I dont want to be on my own , marriage is for life . Why cant he understand . He said its for the best that he leaves . He needs time to sort his head out . But is still very sure that he cant bring this baby up . I tried to tell him it is not the babys fault, so why should it suffer too it did not ask to be here . I just dont know anymore . Thanks guys .

I feel for your heart ache~was the rape reported? Do you know who?
If not reported why?
I think your husband needs to remember it was you it happened to and you that bears the hurt~his pain should be your support sometimes we forget that and think about ourselves more than we should!!!!!
And in no way am I minalizing his feelings but as someone who was threw this at an early age support by someone you love and loves you can sometimes make all the difference in the world.The love and support will help both of you find the right path.Stay strong and have faith especially in your baby who loves you soooooo much.

Didn't you say that you & your husband have 2 other children?? If so then it's not just a matter of you, this baby & him they have to be considered too, he is their father & splitting up (whether we think he's right or not) affects them too.

Give him some time to get his head around all this, it's fine for people to criticize him, but yet the same people understood when it was you who was trying to come to terms with being pregnant & whether or not to have an abortion so why shouldn't people understand that he needs time to. He's probably feeling so many things, guilt that this happened to his wife & he couldn't protect you (an unrealistic but human reaction) fear that he would (& both you & he might very well) always blame the baby & think of it as the child of a "rapist" (again unfair but human) etc. Also perhaps the cost of having another child & how you can cope may be an issue.

I also think you need to think long & hard about what is best for not only this child but your others & you & your husband. Perhaps adoption would be best for all. Please don't rush in, you have time to consider this from all angles & you & your husband might well be able to come through this ordeal together & stronger if you work together & be patient & understanding with each other & consider what is best. Which may be the best of several unpleasant options, rather than what you on your own with no husband or other children to consider would see as "ideal".

Good luck

Well u have to really think.. Ugh this must be so hard! .. Ok but anyhow. .Will u hold resentment toward the baby?? ? Will u love it?? I mean either way its not the babys fault and trust me the baby will love u so much! But how old r u??? I am not against abortions in those who are raped because it wasnt your choice.. But if not if u dont think u could live with the baby then maybe adoption? Really it will probably be helpful to talk to ur husband about it. Im so sorry for u goodluck x 10!

Thanks guys for all your help and support , I have lots of mixed emotions going round and round . My husband is staying at friends at the moment to think and try and get his head clear it has hit him hard and he is finding it very hard to except what has happend . Dealing with the rape is hard to deal with , and me saying I want to keep the baby , he cant understand that . That I would even want to keep the baby after whats happened . I know in my heart it is the right thing to do and I will love the baby like I have my 2 other children . I can understand its hard for him its very hard for me too I need him with me to support me and I can support him too but he will not talk about it . So it looks like I am on my own from now on .