Any Hope For a Normal Life After Being Bulimic So Long? Posted: 03-11-06 12:36pm
Hello. I'm new to this site, and i've
been glued to it since I found it. I've
been bulimic for 13 years, and I can't
even put into words how relieved and
touched I am to know that there are people
who know exactly what i'm going
through...Who know about the lies, the
obsession, the guilt, the all consuming
life addiction of this disorder. Everyday
I want to stop. Want to be normal--god
knows I don't even know what that is or
feels like anymore--i want my thoughts to
belong to me not my bulimia, that might
sound really strange. I want to cut back
to throwing up only once or twice a day.
When I woke up this morning, I had it all
planned out, then one too many glasses of
juice ruined everything and I wasted a
binge on it. I'd like to get help
sometime, but I don't have the money for
it. I'm trying to get a fulltime job to
get me out the house so I can't b/p all
day long like I do right now. And so I
can save up to have my teeth fixed (the
decay is getting bad, and there is no more
enamel). Is there any hope at all for
living a healthy life once you've gotten
to this point? Has anyone else live with
it longer and been ok? Where do you begin
(besides the doctor's office, that is)?
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Re: Any Hope For a Normal Life After Being Bulimic So Long? Posted: 03-11-06 19:03pm
Of course there is hope; there is always
hope. I'm a bulimic (and have been for
about 4 years or so), but some time ago I
decided to go to the doctor by myself -
nobody told me, I got the strengh because
I wanted to stop.
silver_rhoda
wrote:
i've been bulimic for 13
years, and I can't even put into words how
relieved and touched I am to know that
there are people who know exactly what i'm
going through...Who know about the lies,
the obsession, the guilt, the all
consuming life addiction of this disorder.
Everyday I want to stop. Want to be
normal--god knows I don't even know what
that is or feels like anymore--i want my
thoughts to belong to me not my bulimia,
that might sound really strange. I want
to cut back to throwing up only once or
twice a day.
i know what it feels like to stop and feel
"normal" again. That's why I decided to
go to the doctor. Do the same, in first
place. I know these doctors are very
expensive, but search at colleges -
sometimes, in health and medicine school
they work with the general public too.
Normally, it's not so expensive and it's
as good as going to a fancy clinic or
so.
silver_rhoda
wrote:
when I woke up this morning,
I had it all planned out, then one too
many glasses of juice ruined everything
and I wasted a binge on
it.
now... Don't feel guilty if you over eat
one day or something like this. It's ok,
it's normal if it happens. And if it does
happen, don't throw up next. This maybe
your biggest challenge and one of the
hardest - if you eat or drink too much (or
if you think you did), don't waste a binge
next. Be strong - you can do it.
Now, I don't throw up very single day. I
still do it, it's true, but it's not so
regular. If can control myself (one of my
problems is voracity attaks), you can
control yourself too!
You can, for example, give yourself a
deadline (if you think that having a
deadline is like having a goal and if
works better with you this way). For
example, try to eat healthy and not
throwing up for 3 consecutive days. What
do you think? :)
silver_rhoda
wrote:
is there any hope at all for
living a healthy life once you've gotten
to this point? Has anyone else live with
it longer and been ok? Where do you begin
(besides the doctor's office, that
is)?
as I said, I haven't been a bulimic for as
long as you have, but I know it's always
time to get back and cure ourselves!
Believe me, it's possible. Be strong!
If you want to talk to me again, you can't
send me a private message, ok? :)
believe.
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silver_rhoda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Michigan
Posted: 03-12-06 18:22pm
Thanks so much for response and optimism.
I will surely try to set some more
realistic goals for myself. Thanks for
the advice about seeking some help at a
school or university for a lower cost.
I'll also check that out. Thanks again!
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Posted: 03-13-06 05:35am
Ok. Tell me something then :) what if we
did this together? What do you think?
Let me know =)
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silver_rhoda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Michigan
Going to Try Posted: 03-15-06 12:46pm
I'm in. Where do we start?
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Let's Try This Posted: 03-16-06 04:39am
Let's do it like this for a try: no
throwing up and trying to eat as healthy
(no need to count calories, no need to be
upset if we overeat - just trying to go
back to normal eating in babysteps) from
tomorrow, friday (from the minute we wake
up), until sunday (until we go to
sleep).
Then, on monday, we'll share our weekend,
ok?
And during these days we can speak to each
other if we think of bad things or feel
bad about ourselves, ok?
Do you think this is ok? :)
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silver_rhoda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Michigan
Starting Today Posted: 03-17-06 09:45am
Sounds good. I'm starting today then, to
begin to at least control the urge to
binge as many times as I typically do.
Let me know how the weekend goes for you.
Good luck!
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Friday . Resume Posted: 03-17-06 20:06pm
Well, today I did quite exceed myself on
eating or at least I felt that. I had to
go to college early, but I had breakfast
before going there. When I was there for
about an hour (about 2 hours after having
my breakfast), I ate a slice of chocolate
salame... Well... I guess i'll not die
for that, even because the rest of the day
was quite calm.
I finally managed to be with my best
friend today! We hadn't seen each other
for months :s
and a new thing: I had lunch! =x
normally, when i'm at college - specially
when I feel that I overeat - I skip meals.
It's normal for me to only have breakfast
(sometimes a poor one, like a non-fat
yoghurt or an apple) and then come home
late and have dinner... And i'd usually
throw up after eating salame =x
how has your friday been? ***** :)
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breeanna
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2005 Posts: 79
Posted: 03-21-06 18:29pm
Hey! Woohoo I usually throw up once a
day, so throwing up 0 times is great. I
call them zero days. Three times ive had
2 zero days in a row. Yesterday was a
zero day. Im hoping for my first 3, maybe
even 4 zero days in a row! Anyway, I had
the best day yesterday. This was my food
diary for the day.
Breakfast
100g of nuts.
Lunch
400g of grapes
dinner
warm chicken salad with lots of lettuce,
lil bit of mango, lil bit of warm chicken
and tomato
how many calories in that yo?
I know its bad to think of calories. But
im interested..
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Posted: 03-22-06 05:02am
I don't know how many cals are in there,
but, if you got that into your tummy and
you didn't throw up, it's great!!! Thanks
for joining us!
Yesterday it wasn't one of my best days.
I feel strange because i«m eating more
than I used to (because last year I was a
bulimic and I just didn't eat for the
whole day - then it turned the other way
around and I started over eating. Now I
managed to control overeating but I feel
strange because I never ate when I was at
school, only had dinner, basically).
I felt bad yesterday because one friend of
mine gave me a piece of cake and I ate
it.
But, well... When I used to throw up and
overeat (both) I gained weight - I passer
from about 122 to 127.6! And I couldn't
understand why, if I was throwing up.
What was going on and what can happen is
that, by throwing up, your body reacts in
the opposite way - instead of losing those
cals you've eaten, it starts to keep as
many cals as it can. So that was the
explanation for my weight gain.
Let's keep an weblog together? I already
have one weblog that I don't used a lot
now and not many people visit. We can use
that one instead of creating a new -->
http://weedeias.Blogspot.Com
tell me something, girl!
As for your meals yesterday, I can see
that you are really trying to get healthy
;) but you can eat a bit more. Try to
keep with you always one of those little
packages of cookies, that carrie about 6.
And eat half of them in mid morning and
half in the mid afternoon. ;) you won't
get fat for eating them, it's just the
opposite - you'll be giving fuel to you
car so it can keep working.
Yesterday i've eaten:
8 am - 1 banana
11 am - 6 whole cereal (i guess that's the
name) cookies
lunch (12:00) - 1 bread with ham and 1
slice of cake
7 pm - 1 orange, 1 little apple and 1
bread with cheese and marmalade
dinner (9 pm) - tomato rice and codfish
a lot more that you, lol =x (:
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nancy1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 32
Posted: 03-22-06 05:12am
You may try pranayam which is set of
breathing techniques that can really cure
anything including your problem. Remember
how much or how early your illness dies by
doing pranayam depends on how much faith
you have on it. Even if you have no faith
but do it for at least 2 weeks, you;ll
start seeing the result and faith will
start gradually hence.
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silver_rhoda
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Michigan
No Control Posted: 03-23-06 22:41pm
Well, the first two days of the weekend
were good. I threw up two or three
times--which is an improvement for me.
Sunday and monday were pretty bad,
meaning, I didn't even keep track of what
I ate or how many times I threw up.
Probably somewhere between six to eight
times. The past couple of days were
better because my boyfriend was visiting.
When I eat and don't plan to binge, I
don't usually count calories. I try to
eat healthful foods, paying more attention
to the levels of fats. My biggest problem
is over eating in general. Even foods
that I plan to keep down end up coming
back up if I eat too much. I often don't
realize i've eaten too much for comfort
until it's too late though. It's tough.
I wish I could control myself.
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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You Can Do It. Posted: 03-24-06 04:39am
It's ok...
You've tryed and you've accomplished part
of the goals, haven't you? ;) do be to
hard on yourself. Now, do you wanna try
it again for a few days? :)
these last days for me haven't been so
good too, i'm always jumping to the weight
scale and I always think i'm overeating.
But no, i've not thrown up... 17 zero
days, now. =x
be strong, you will control yourself.
It's gonna be very, very difficult, but
you'll manage to do that in some sort of
way. And I - and the other people too -
will be here to help you.
If you feel bad or something, come here
and write something or go do something
that distracts you! ***********
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Feeling Bad Posted: 03-25-06 14:09pm
Today i'm feeling very bad.. I started
throwing up again after 17 days without
doing it.
As I woke up very early for a saturday, I
first ate a banana for breakfast. But I
was so hungry that about one hour and a
half later I had a bread and cheese and a
cup of milk and a chocolate almond. I
felt bad for it, so I went to the toilet
and started vomiting. As quick as I got
conscious of what I was doing, I stopped
doing it and went to my room and started
cleaning it. :(
then, by 2 pm I had lunch together with my
parents, and now, at 6:30, I has an apple,
3 saltines and a slice of cheese... :(
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breeanna
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2005 Posts: 79
Posted: 04-02-06 01:37am
Hey voodoo. 17 days is so good babe. You
should be so proud of yourself. 17 days
...... 17 days! Thats like, over 8 sets
of 2 days. I say that cause the longest I
have lastest is 2 days.
So congratulations!!
Is 17 days good for you? Personally I
think 17 days is good for anyone but yeah.
Uno how you said that you woke up and
were really hungry so you binged? And
then you ate not a lot during the rest of
the day? You dont want to wake up the
next day and be so hungry and have that
cycle, so aas hard as it is, try and eat
something that will help slightly fill
that hunger. What do you think? Good
luck sweet.
Silver roda.... Well done on your
achievement. I think its great your
challenging your thoughts and making
progress. I think to help you maybe you
could be more concious of what you eat..
You say that you dont realise youve eaten
too much until its too late right? Try
what I do. I feel like I eat all the time
lol but its really small meals. Like
every 2.5 or 3 hours, ill have something,
even if its just a banana. Or sometimes
if im more hungry, ill have a banana, then
half an hour later have some raw nuts. It
helps because you dont feel like your
eating too much all at once but you still
arent hungry and dont feel the need to
binge. Do you think that could help?
Okay and now its time to hear about my
weekend and stuff! Okay its sunday 5:30pm
now.... Ive had 2 zero days in a row.
The 4th time ever this has happened, im
quite chuffed. Anyway. On friday I knew
it was going to be zero cause I had school
till 3.30, and then had to go to work at
4.30, and I wasnt going to waste my time
by eating and then feeling bad etc. So
friday was set. I found it really easy
actually and felt great cause I didnt eat
too much. Saturday was yesterday, a bit
more challenging cause I had nothing
planned. But I cleaned my room and went
to the gym and did homework, so I felt
great and then for dinner I made a really
nice salad with chicken and mango and
stuff. It was great. So 2 zero days for
me. Im doubting myself right now and I
think in about 20 mins I will be gorging
on chocolate, but hey, I made 2 days....
And monday was a zero day too.
Wooooohooooooooo. 3/7 days this week were
0 days!! Yay!
Good luck babesssss xx
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
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Posted: 04-02-06 16:28pm
breeanna
wrote:
is 17 days good for you?
Personally I think 17 days is good for
anyone but yeah. Uno how you said that
you woke up and were really hungry so you
binged? And then you ate not a lot
during the rest of the
day?
well, 17 days were an historic mark, I
guess! Now i've had 6 zero days. Today
was not one, but I threw up today because
I got nauseas because of the smells of
many perfumes mixed together after eating
(i went to the movies and, as me and my
boyfriend had time, we ate an icecream -
häagen-dazz - and then we went for a walk
in the shopping. That was when I felt
sick and had to do it. I felt a lot
better after it..). Was today a zero day,
even with this? If I hadn't done it, it'd
have been my seventh zero day in a row!
I had to spend many hours wihtout eating,
because I wanted to feel hunger again.
When I overate, I couldn't feel hunger!
Now, I know when I am hungry and when I am
not...
But thanks for your support, it's most
precious.
Time for me to tell how my weekend has
been. Today, me and my honey bunny make
21 months together. =) he has been most
helpful and understandind and gives me
support as nobody else does. I also want
to get out of bulimia for him, he deserves
the best.
So, today we went to the movies, as I
said, I we saw ice age 2. I really
enjoyed it ^^
yesterday, we both stayed at home. I
studied a bit, read some stuff to college
and then watched tv until dinner time
("pirates of caribbean").
Last wednesday I went to the psychiatrist
and to the nutricionist, and we
established some goals for some: keep the
"breaks" between meals, start having lunch
(i generally skip it) and only weight
myself once a week. I'm going back there
in may, 10th.
