Sexual Health - Women Forum - Am I Incapable of Orgasm?

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Q: Am I Incapable of Orgasm?

asked by: longingforsatisfaction on March 10th, 2006

New User

I am a 22 year old female and I have been with the same guy since I was 14 years old. Iwas his first and he was my first when it came to sex. Anyways I have a couple of things that I could use some advice on.

I have not had an orgasm not even once in the whole time I have been with him. I am either a really good faker or he doesn't know any better. I don't know what to do. Durring sex nothing happens its like I am incapable. Even durring oral sex...(i like to have my clit sucked on like a mini blowjob)...Its like I can't get to the orgasm point. Its different with oral sex its like it feels so good I can't let myself go I literally pull his head off of me to get him to stop. He tries to keep going but I can't stop myself from stopping him. And then theres the whole masterbation thing...I have explored my body quite a few times and I don't get anything. Am I doing something wrong or am I really incapable???? Please help!!!

Replies(8)

numba1eyceygurl

replied on March 11th, 2006

New User

Try This...

You have been with this guy for years. This same situation happened to me. But the only thing that helped me was one day I put on something that aroused me and I watched it until I was so horny, then I masterbated and it happened. You have to let urself go completely. Maybe the reason why u can't orgasm is because ur thinking about it or ur wondering if this time will be the time, but u can't think about that. Orgasms take a level of concentration,and if ur worried or hoping that u do it, u won't. So let ur self go one day, just relax and it will happen. Trust me!!!

penelope67

replied on March 12th, 2006

Experienced User

Yup, you are totally right on

tasha82

replied on March 12th, 2006

Experienced User

I agree, it's really hard to have one if you're focused on it. Try to put it out of your mind and just enjoy yourself without any expectations.

The only question I have is if you're taking any medication, because there are types that can interfere with sexual function.

longingforsatisfaction

replied on March 14th, 2006

New User

Nope no meds. I am just so tired of faking I hear so many good things about orgasm and I just want to experience it. It is hard for me to just let go and enjoy the sexual experience when I am really not enjoying it. Its really does nothing for me.

Morning_Glory

replied on March 14th, 2006

Experienced User

I think your problem isn't so much physical as it is mental.

You have to relax! Stop focusing in on what is supposed to happen and just totally enjoy the moment and the sensations. Next time your bf is performing oral on you, tell him to tease you more, to not go straight for your clit but to explore the whole region down there and to stop just before you are to the point of ripping his ears off. When he's teasing you, you should be just totally relaxed and enjoying the sensations his teasing is creating and not be worried about orgasm.

tasha82

replied on March 15th, 2006

Experienced User

My advice is to try exploring yourself before you worry too much about having an orgasm with your boyfriend. I think it will be easier for you to have your first one by yourself, because that way you can do exactly what feels good, without worrying about telling your boyfriend what you like and what you don't like.

You said before that masturbation does nothing for you...Are you really turned on when you try it? If you're not turned on, or if you're uncomfortable, it won't work. Get into a really good sexual fantasy to get yourself in the mood, and then try to find what you like. Again, don't focus on having an orgasm. Just focus on what feels good, and keep doing it. Try lots of clitoral stimulation. If you haven't already, you might even want to try a vibrator.

I hope this helps you. Good luck!

sh5nton

replied on March 15th, 2006

New User

I have been with the same guy for 3 years and am 20. I am getting to the point where I just never expect an orgasm. I don't fake it. Sex is always a bit uncomfortable and I just figured I had something wrong with me. I don't get turned on by masturbation and I don't want to recieve oral. It's a personal choice.

Can a dildo guarantee an orgasm because I heard once you have one, it's easier to have them again. I am on the pill and I find that decreases my sexual interest. My boyfriend is greater and supportive. I do have body hang-ups and can rarely relax. I figured it could also be pyschological but thats even harder to overcome.

The only advice I have recieved was to smoke pot and try it then. But the fact that is never really that pleasurable makes me wonder that there is something actually wrong. I do think my boyfriends hot and I don't think it had anything to do with him.

longingforsatisfaction

replied on March 15th, 2006

New User

See now you are in the same boat that I am except I don't mind oral sex. All I have to say is that the whole thing really sucks!!!

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