Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Sacramento, California
Am I Incapable of Orgasm? Posted: 03-10-06 20:13pm
I am a 22 year old female and I have been
with the same guy since I was 14 years
old. Iwas his first and he was my first
when it came to sex. Anyways I have a
couple of things that I could use some
advice on.
I have not had an orgasm not even once in
the whole time I have been with him. I am
either a really good faker or he doesn't
know any better. I don't know what to do.
Durring sex nothing happens its like I am
incapable. Even durring oral sex...(i
like to have my clit sucked on like a mini
blowjob)...Its like I can't get to the
orgasm point. Its different with oral sex
its like it feels so good I can't let
myself go I literally pull his head off of
me to get him to stop. He tries to keep
going but I can't stop myself from
stopping him. And then theres the whole
masterbation thing...I have explored my
body quite a few times and I don't get
anything. Am I doing something wrong or
am I really incapable???? Please help!!!
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numba1eyceygurl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Aug 2005 Posts: 42 Location: New Orleans, La
Try This... Posted: 03-11-06 19:41pm
You have been with this guy for years.
This same situation happened to me. But
the only thing that helped me was one day
I put on something that aroused me and I
watched it until I was so horny, then I
masterbated and it happened. You have to
let urself go completely. Maybe the
reason why u can't orgasm is because ur
thinking about it or ur wondering if this
time will be the time, but u can't think
about that. Orgasms take a level of
concentration,and if ur worried or hoping
that u do it, u won't. So let ur self go
one day, just relax and it will happen.
Trust me!!!
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penelope67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NH
Posted: 03-12-06 13:35pm
Yup, you are totally right on
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tasha82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 112
Posted: 03-12-06 22:18pm
I agree, it's really hard to have one if
you're focused on it. Try to put it out
of your mind and just enjoy yourself
without any expectations.
The only question I have is if you're
taking any medication, because there are
types that can interfere with sexual
function.
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longingforsatisfaction
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Sacramento, California
Posted: 03-14-06 19:41pm
Nope no meds. I am just so tired of
faking I hear so many good things about
orgasm and I just want to experience it.
It is hard for me to just let go and enjoy
the sexual experience when I am really not
enjoying it. Its really does nothing for
me.
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Morning_Glory
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 207 Location: NE Ohio
Posted: 03-14-06 21:58pm
I think your problem isn't so much
physical as it is mental.
You have to relax! Stop focusing in on
what is supposed to happen and just
totally enjoy the moment and the
sensations. Next time your bf is
performing oral on you, tell him to tease
you more, to not go straight for your clit
but to explore the whole region down there
and to stop just before you are to the
point of ripping his ears off. When he's
teasing you, you should be just totally
relaxed and enjoying the sensations his
teasing is creating and not be worried
about orgasm.
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tasha82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 112
Posted: 03-15-06 00:07am
My advice is to try exploring yourself
before you worry too much about having an
orgasm with your boyfriend. I think it
will be easier for you to have your first
one by yourself, because that way you can
do exactly what feels good, without
worrying about telling your boyfriend what
you like and what you don't like.
You said before that masturbation does
nothing for you...Are you really turned on
when you try it? If you're not turned
on, or if you're uncomfortable, it won't
work. Get into a really good sexual
fantasy to get yourself in the mood, and
then try to find what you like. Again,
don't focus on having an orgasm. Just
focus on what feels good, and keep doing
it. Try lots of clitoral stimulation.
If you haven't already, you might even
want to try a vibrator.
I hope this helps you. Good luck!
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sh5nton
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 42 Location: western australia
Posted: 03-15-06 07:11am
I have been with the same guy for 3 years
and am 20. I am getting to the point
where I just never expect an orgasm. I
don't fake it. Sex is always a bit
uncomfortable and I just figured I had
something wrong with me. I don't get
turned on by masturbation and I don't want
to recieve oral. It's a personal choice.
Can a dildo guarantee an orgasm because I
heard once you have one, it's easier to
have them again. I am on the pill and I
find that decreases my sexual interest.
My boyfriend is greater and supportive. I
do have body hang-ups and can rarely
relax. I figured it could also be
pyschological but thats even harder to
overcome.
The only advice I have recieved was to
smoke pot and try it then. But the fact
that is never really that pleasurable
makes me wonder that there is something
actually wrong. I do think my boyfriends
hot and I don't think it had anything to
do with him.
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longingforsatisfaction
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Sacramento, California
Posted: 03-15-06 13:29pm
See now you are in the same boat that I am
except I don't mind oral sex. All I have
to say is that the whole thing really
sucks!!!
