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Im 19 And Im In Love With a Guy Whose 20 Years My Senior!!!

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Is there anything wrong with that? I never really had a father figure, it's always been my mom and siblings in my life. I am the oldest of 4 children and I am in love with a beautiful man whose is 20 years my senior. I don't know exactly how to tell my mom because they are practically the same age. I have always been attracted to guys older than me, but never this old. We have been dating for 8 months now and he has already proposed to me. I love him with all of my heart, he treats me like a queen, he always know to right things to say and do when i'm sad. He always has the best advice about everything. I just don't know how to tell my family. My mom is going to kill me when she finds out.
Any advice from people who are dating older or younger partners?
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replied March 11th, 2006
Experienced User
Well my parents have issues with me and my older boyfriend but as long as you keep a mature attitude about it all it should be okay. You're 19 so you are an adult, it is your choice, you shouldn't keep it secret from them though if you're engaged. You're in love, there's nothing wrong with that, just explain that you are aware of the age difference but if it doesn't affect your relationship or make it seem weird, then it shouldnt affect you and your mothers relationship. Just make sure you live your life, not just by how he wants you to.
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replied March 11th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I am 23.Will be 24 in july my finace whom I am marrying in september is will be 42 in may..
His family loves me, and accepts me as part of the family. When I met him i'll admit, he looks 30.. Looks great, I had no idea he would have been 40 when we met.. But it does not bother me. You have to do what's right for you in life, and know that some people will just not approve.
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replied March 11th, 2006
My fiance is 47 and im 19 so don't worry about it. I love him for who he is and his age doesnt bother me, my parents like him and my friends accept it so go for it.
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replied March 11th, 2006
Thanx Eveybody
Thank u everybody who posted a reply. I don't feel as alone anymore because u guys are going through the same thing. I just don't know how to tell my mom. I love him with all of my heart and I want my family to get to know him and love him as well because he is a really great guy and he always has my best interest at heart. I just want things to be okay after the truth comes out.
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replied March 11th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Your mother will not kill you, she might be a little surprised at 1st, a lot of younger women go with older men nowadays and visa versa, as long as you and he are happy that is all that matters, if you were 16, I might say something(jailbait) .

The best to you and yours!
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replied March 11th, 2006
Thank U Sandyallen
All of this feedback is giving me the courage to tell her. Thanx u guys
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replied March 12th, 2006
How Old Is Too Old
The age difference might not be an issue now, but believe me it will become very evident in a physical way before long. Sexually, you are in tune right now, but give him 10 years, you'll be wishing you had someone your own age. Really think about this.
Good luck.
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replied March 12th, 2006
Experienced User
My cousin married a 55 year old about 10 years ago he was 30 then, he never had a mother figure his mother beat him, you probably feel like he did, needing a father figure. But you will regret it a few years, she cannot go out anymore, he takes care of her, and they almost never have sex. Like the person above me said, just think about it before you fully commit!
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replied March 13th, 2006
This Is Really Helping
I thank everybody who has responded and u guys are giving me a lot things to think about. I do think a lot about the sex issue. He is 39 now and in about 10-15 years he probably will not be as interested in sex as I will be. I will think a lot about this relationship and how this can affect my life in the future. Keep em coming u guys!!!
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replied March 14th, 2006
Sweetie take it from someome who is married to someone who is older, albiet not as much older as your guy is to you, it a big issue right now. A very good friend of mine is married to an attorney, he is 52, she is 32. When they got married 7 years ago, everything was great, especially their love life, in fact it was spectacular, now he can't keep up with her, so she is now sleeping with our spin instructor. I'm not saying this is your fate also, but it happens more often than not. Really think about this decision.
I wish you much happiness regardless of your decision.
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replied March 14th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
Its simple...Do what makes you happy...I have always learned that you cant go by other peoples experiences...Because yours might be totally different...If this guy makes you happy then why not...You have one life to live and I would go for it...If you didnt then you might look back and wonder "what if"...And thats something you dont want...It might be the best thing you have ever done in your life...Dont let the chance pass you by..This guy might blow you off your feet...Because you seem very happy with him...
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replied March 14th, 2006
Jillian is right. If it feels good, if it feels right, go for it. In twenty-five years send us a postcard of your fabulous 25th anniversary cruise to the south pacific. My daughter is also 19, all I wish for her is happiness. I wish the same for you and your guy!
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replied May 28th, 2009
...
ahhh when you read these posts it makes u feel so confident that you want to go out and scream it to the world! makes u realise there are so many people who have done and are going through the very same thing.

im 22, my partner is 42...and nobody knows about us. it is such a joke and it is killing us being apart right now because i dont have the guts to tell my family and closest friends. we are in absolute love with eachother we feel we cannot live without eachother.

i seriously need to know HOW u actually come out and tell people?

i know for a fact my friends and family will not accept it and i am scared that if we only make it a few years will i have ruined my bond with my family and friends?
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replied May 28th, 2009
Supporter
i am 32 and my boyfriend is 51. and it seems like the older guys have "been there done that and ready to settle down".
most of them know how to treat you.
i cant stand that rap music guys my age plays in the car, blasting!

anyway, you are of age so don't worry about what your mom will say. she should be happy you found someone that treats you good.
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