I did have another topic, but I forgot the other symtpoms that I have so I just figure I would start this one. It's long but please bear with me.
I really didn't like include my full scope of problems. Here it is... Please be patient with me.. My last month like schizophrenia and thoughts of the symttoms keep staying in my head. Like I don't really get them, but like i'm afraid I will. Every strange sound I hear I check with family members to see if they hear it. Fortunetaly they have said they did have. (i'm going to a doctor soon, within 2-3 days) also the reflection thing i've like gotten over it. Don't really feel like that anymore. Might have been a temporary thing. Also for the turning around quickly thing don't feel anymore. Like many times when I look something online disease/illness or whatever then I begin to look for the symptoms to that disease/ilnness and get worried that I might have that.
I'm just going list like incidents or things that I have thought of before. Or things that I think might be wierd
- when I talk to others I just react I don't think about it before I speak. But for sometimes I think out what i'm going to say before I talk.
-like when I was around 6th grade so like 4ish years ago. (i'm only 15) I thought like what's my point of life. Now I guess I figured it out like I just thought I (for me anyway) would finish high school, go to college, then get married and have kids and then die. Now like if I have a mental illness I guess my life is ruined...
-like also 4-5 years back I thought like why is my life important. Then I think like am I on like a hidden camera tv show. (only thought of this for like couple days, wasn't obsessed with it.) now looking at the past I see the foolishness of it. Don't believe in it anymore.
-year back in dining room, I was in dining room and I heard like a sound. It wasn't a word or voice. But like deen. I don't know, don't really remember it so well. It might have been outside caused by a car. Haven't really heard of anything like this since though.
-like from the corner of my eye since my vision is less detailed and little blurry. Like I was stretching and something caught my eye. It was like outline of like a mermaid gold statue. I turn around and realize it's the turtle gold statue my dad bought awhile ago. When I look at it from center of eye I see it for what it really is. (this happens like used to once every 3-4 ish months. Only happened like for last 2 years. The mermaid thing was like 2 weeks ago. Haven't experience it since. It's something that doesn';t like happen every day) it's not like I see a fully detailed mermaid that completely transformed. It just looked like outline blurry, not that detailed. Only happens form corner of my eye. Might be just my subciousness like just being paranoid. Like the object would seem different. Might just be angles/lighting.
-like one time when I search online to see if talking to yourself is normal. I see that someone said like, you would be a mad person if you answer yourself back when you talk to yourself. I do that so I start thinking maybe i'm going to be "mad". Like I talk to myself and i'm like"why, why do I deserve all this. I'm not the most perfect, nicest person in the world. But rapists, murderers deserve illnesses more than me." I take a bath and then after I look at my reflection and feel like my mind feels older then my actual looks. Like I haven't seen my reflection in a long time, even though I did serveral times that day. It makes me feel very sick because I think maybe i'm going to have a mental illness, like I feel like i'm about to vomit ( I don't) and sweat a lot.
-in the dining room once again I thought I heard a sound like puh chee ( dont ask) the tv was on so that might have been it. I really haven't been hearing any strange voices/sounds since that one time one year ago in dining room aswell. It might have been my nerves since I was very anxious and feel stressed out, that once again I feel I might get schizophrenia symtpoms.
I went to the doctor's today and he said that I possibly might have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I'm not really sure if that's all that correct of a diagnosis though. Since he thought I had "confused thinking
How come it is too early to say? Also to further describe my symtpoms more.
Like I guess the fear of schizophrenia really like manifested into something that is very hard for me to not think about. Or hard to get out the back of my head. Like sometimes I start getting really anxious, tense, stressed out, that I might actually start seeing things. I haven't so far but it is really getting to me. Like for the last month I started looking up symptoms and thinking oh what is wrong with me? Does this sound like paranoia or hypochondria? Also I remembered I watched this animal tv show where it said 1 out of 3 people have roundworms. Like for the next two hours I started worrying about it and thinking about it aswell. That was like 2 weeks ago though.
Well, just in the car yesterday. When thinking I have schizophrenia was in mind, I think I heard the sound like ack, and nee that's it what it sounded like. I know my mom and brother-in-law didn't hear it though. The volume of those sounds was very low, almost like a loud though. It just drove the point for me to think i'm going crazy. Also since for the last 3 days I was like in a extremely paranoid state where I thought I might be going crazy.
I could tell out like faces in the dirt, carpet, and the wood grain in my brother's car. I didn't like compleltely see real faces (not like fully detailed faces, actual people's faces), but like I noticed like any round circle made by the carpet, wood grain or dirt and 3 dots below it kind of looks like a face. Or any two dots next to each other kind of looks like eyes. It seems like I try to make my ears more keen and listen to any sound and check every detail of anything. These two things only happened to me from the last five days and haven't happened from my other parts of life.
Hi I am schizophrenic and have been for years. None of your symptoms seem like any of the symtoms that I have experienced over the years. Good luck ps as far as seeing faces in furniture carpeting and such I think is quite natural for people
Also I would like to put down some other wierd things to reassure myself to see if this might be schizophrenic. So I was in the kitchen and couldn't get the thought of me having schizo in my head. (i did thought I had schizo so that's probaly why) I was very stressed out and anxious, everything pretty much. Then I thought like what if the whole world is like a video game like the sims and i'm only a character controlled by someone and he's keeping the thought there. Like 2 seconds after I thought about what I just think about I definetely know that's not true. Kind of silly looking back on it.. But I did think about it so. Like alot of the wierd fears or thoughts I have I don't believe in anymore or fear. Also since I checked out online someone said like "oh, if you talk to yourself, your crazy". Of course I do that and then I think oh am I going crazy? I watched the scary movie before emily rose where supposedly she got possessed by the devil and think crap am I goingto get possessed or something like that. That was also caused by me thinking it's not natural to talk to yourself. But this I also don't believe in anymore or fear. Also one time last week when I was sleeping closed my eyes, I could make out faces in the dark, they were outlined by like light.. Like the background is darker and then the faces are lighter. But then again if I try hard enough I can imagine seeing lot of things like that. Also during the day one time last week I saw a small rectangle green box. I saw it for like 3 sseconds then it went away. Also if I try I can imagine like a face in the wall cause the outline of the face is lighter like a flashing white shade. It's not detailed and fully colored or anything. Not like a real face.
I never thought about any of the above message til last week.
Also for the last five days since I felt better and convinced myself I didn't have any thing serious I almost didn't even have any of those things above. Definetely dramatically reduced. Someone suggested on another forum that i'm overfocusing on everything and that does seeem to be true. And also that tv does seem to easily influence me and I have an hyperactive imgaination.
Yeah so pretty much the last four days I have felt really good. Almost don't get any of these symptoms whatsoever. But I did remember another weird thing I thought of before where I thought I was someone else placed into this body and then had memories inserted into my brain. But then this might possibly also been affected by tv... Since I did watch a movie about a man who found out he was a clone so that might have something to do with it. Looking back on it, it seems very foolish though.
what you've described sounds to me like a lot of severe anxiety and some depression, not really schizophrenia. Everyone occasionally thinks "paranoid" thoughts such as: "maybe my life is fake or im on a hidden camera show" that's all pretty normal. ....It's when you really come to believe in it and focus on it on a daily basis that schizophrenia would be suspected.
Even completly healthy people will occasionaly hear little sounds that aren't there, like thinking they heard their name being called within all the other talking and noise going on around them. This is especially so if your really stressed out. Tell your doctor, but it doesn;t sound like anything to really worry over.
And whoever told you that you would be mad if you talked to yourself is full of bs. Almost everyone talks to themselves , however if your hearing voices in your head that are not your own inner voices, then that's another story. What I mean is, when im not on my meds, I hear voices inside my head, like other people are putting their thoughts into my head. They are not my own thoughts and I have no control over them. Hope im making sense.
The illusions you described, like seeing faces in dirt and carpet could be an early sign of schiz, but much more likely it's a result of anxiety and all the worrying and focusing on schizophrenia you do. When you see these faces and things in the dirt, do they pop right out at you even when your not thinking about it, or do you kind've have to focus on it for a second before you see the face.?
It doesn't sound to me like you have schizophrenia, but im not a doc and like someone else already said, it sounds like it's too early to tell.
It doesnt sound like it it sounds more like a compolsive desorder or somthing, like you think you schitz, then your mind plays on reality and some really wierd stuff might happen but you thought you where schitz in the first place so you have technically induced it in the first place, and the more you do it the worse it getts in it.
Oh yer when you start getting things like walking to the post office and ground turns into a big firey pit and wet your self then get some help,
also I personally also get the truman show effect paranoia, just thinking someone is watching me all the time while I tfreak out and run into brick walls and stuff
last thing I have been diagnosed with asbegers syndrome and I know it takes months and months of doctors vists to get diagnoses and for you to get diagnoses first time around is a.) super doctor b.) work experience boy or c.) get a new doctor
You dont sound like you have schizophrenia . I had these kind of symptoms around that age of 14. testing myself out almost trying to prove to myself that i had schizophrenia. every little sound i would question - is that real i did the thing with the faces also? It was really hard as i was always in fear that i was getting or do have this illness. anyway i went to see a psycologist in the end. I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and even though i found it very hard to believe him as i was so convinced i had Schizophrenia it really did turn out to be just an anxiety thing and more common than you may think. I know it seems like hell but it really is treatable? I hope your are working through it.
for me personally im probably clinically screwed insane, but what with me and my understanding of schizophreniaa~ is that everything you believe is REAL. im a god. thats real. no deep logic really has to play out , you just know thats how it is and everything is fine with what you believe. if you suspect oh god why do i think like that, or oh dear heaveans why am fidgeting so much, well id like to say normal except for being very paranoid, anxiety, possible stress related. of course if your really under the age of 17 then it could be possibly beggining signs of schizophrenia, but docs know best or at least their paid to make you believe that...
I think iÃÂ´m hypocondric myself, heck! Sometimes i canÃÂ´t even drink a cop of coffee without stressing myself with the fact that it could MAYBE be that which caused ALL of my stress and thought related problems! The thing is with me as things are now, i donÃÂ´t get pannic like symptoms, my pulse dont begin to raise, its more opposit, its like im tensed and constantly cautious, but still with a normal or low pulse! ItÃÂ´s more of a control issue i think, where i HAVE to get checked everything which could just have the smallest amount of impact on my conditions since five years ago, first it was a braintumor, then a half a year ago mystically enough i fell down a stair and nothing really happened except epilepticlike cramps after the fall including external bruises, the months after i had three different scans which showed nothing abnormal! Then suddently, i had the ideas that MAYBE i got possesed by a spirit back when i began to feel weird, or that it has something to do with the way iÃÂ´m build, like an obsession with different massages and alternative therapies! Not that i REALLY believe it, but itÃÂ´s sure strong enough to not leave the idea fullheartedly! But i feel better now than before! And i slowly begin to gain some confidence in the fact that it all lies in how i cope with it and it will eventually go away! It allso lies in the fact that i had strongly social anxiety back then when i throwed myself out in situations i couldnÃÂ´t handle, was really mad and disappointed at myself that i didnÃÂ´t seem to cope that well will social relation as others, aswell as the girls, was very selfdistructive before the anxiety took over! But i feel ok today just so you know, not all the time thou lol!